"The IRS scandal is what happens when liberals have control of government. It gets big, out of control, and they use every aspect of government they can for political purposes."
"Do you realize how absurd those people are, that five minutes after this disaster in Oklahoma they're trying to politicize it? Well, there's a problem: There isn't any global warming, and tornado activity has been on the decline."
"Apple is to the United States government what Clarence Thomas was to the civil rights coalition. How dare you get this big sidestepping us."
"So they've got these models that projected all this warming, and the warming isn't taking place, so, my gosh, what's wrong? Maybe nothing's wrong, other than their stupid models. Maybe nothing's wrong. Maybe there is no standstill."
"The IRS commissioner, Steven Miller, has just admitted in a Senate hearing this morning, Senate testimony this morning, guess what he's admitted? The targeting of conservative groups at the IRS was partisan. I guess the threat of perjury has a way of squeezing the truth out, because it was only last week that Mr. Miller said there was nothing partisan about this."
"You've got a bunch of groupies, you've got a bunch of sycophants and you've got a bunch of true believers in this regime."
"Obama's only attempt to unify the country was to unify people who believe that his enemies need to be eliminated. That was the unity Obama sought. He sought a unanimous agreement with him, that his opponents -- I should say his enemies, in his world -- need to be neutered."
"It only took five minutes before the Democrat Party politicized the tornado in Oklahoma. They politicize everything, folks."
"The true test comes in a natural disaster. The people of Oklahoma know that they are in Tornado Alley. The true test is the aftermath, how people deal with it -- and I have to tell you: From what I've seen, these people in Oklahoma are the backbone of the United States of America."
"Ladies and gentlemen, look, I mean this from the bottom of my heart. You literally cannot trust anything these people tell you."
"This country is not gonna support removing the first African-American president from office. That isn't gonna happen, so change your focus. As I said yesterday, the day before, and last week: The focus here needs to be, "This is what happens when liberals run things.'"
"These groupies, these sycophants, these acolytes listened to Obama make all these blind, mindless promises, and they believed it!"
"The Daily Show ran a graphic last night that we have had on our website since 2010, Barackalypse Now. They ran it in conjunction with all of these scandals that are starting to chip away at Obama. Barackalypse Now. Koko sent it to me today. Koko sent me a note: "I'm so ticked off at this. You did The Daily Show before Jon Stewart ever thought about doing TV. That's what your TV show was. This guy gets all this credit and all this stuff, and now they're lifting stuff from our website," conceptually. I mean, the graphic is a little different, but the whole Barackalypse Now, that was us in 2010."
"Most of the limitations that you think you face are actually limitations you're putting on yourself and you may not know it."
"Obama isn't just too big to fail. He's too big to know. Obama is so vital to the country and to the world, he must be kept out of the loop in order to save him from his failed presidency."
"Apple Inc. pays more taxes than any US corporation, $16 million a day. GE ought to be up there explaining how they don't pay any tax on their multiple billions in earnings."
"They called it a relief fund, and it wasn't. It was a slush fund. And that's why the Republicans voted against it. But low-information voters are not gonna get that news."
"Taxes are a cost. Apple is doing everything they can to keep their costs down. What Apple's being accused of here is bad citizenship."
"Liberals want the government to get bigger, and they want you to drive smaller cars, and they want to dictate the way you live. They want you to use one sheet of toilet paper, whatever. They want you giving up a little more of your economic freedom, they want you paying higher taxes, under the guise that somehow those people in Washington (in conjunction with people at the United Nations) know everything."
"Obama wants you to change your loyalties, to him and government and give up this Catholic stuff. That's a loser. You need to be investing in him and government."
"Obama isn't just too big to fail. He's too big to know. Obama is so important, he is so vital to the country and to the world, he must be kept out of the loop in order to save him from his failed presidency."
"It's a fun thing to witness when liberals realize that they're getting screwed by their buddies."