"They got Obamacare. They've got Obama. I mean, if the mob wishes to impose something, it happens. The left really isn't losing anything. Gay marriage, immigration, you name it, they are getting their way."
"Hey, there's a protest. I see it. I'm looking at it. It's a... No, sorry. It's in Egypt. Never mind."
"How about what happened at the Oakland TV station? Oh, my God, did I love this! They got punk'd on the names of the flight crew of that Asiana Airline 777 that crashed in San Francisco. Did you hear about that, Snerdley? (interruption) Oh, yes, you did. You just don't know what I'm talking about. I wish I'da done that one myself."
"Obama woulda read this. Yeah, he woulda read the prompter straight -- and somebody, some intern in Cincinnati would have been canned."
"The Reverend Jackson said that the problem here was that Trayvon Martin did not have 'a jury of his peers.' Now, off the top of your head, what's wrong with that? Trayvon Martin wasn't on trial! It was Zimmerman who is guaranteed by our Constitution a jury of his peers, not Trayvon Martin."
"They weren't able to convince people that this really was an event governed by the institutional racism and bigotry and near slavery of this country. And, as such, they're just having a temper tantrum."
"Eric Holder is going to make remarks, gonna make a speech at the Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, a black sorority in Washington. They're celebrating their one hundredth anniversary. That's the Delta Sigma Thetas, not to be confused with the Alpha Cow Omoogas."
"The super rich -- even just the standard, ordinary, everyday rich -- have their preconceived notions of what life is like in this country. And based on the geography of the country, they typecast people who live in these areas. Like southern people are racist hayseeds. They're pro-life hicks! They go to church with their shotguns in their laps every Sunday."
"Black-on-white crime like this, or black-on-black crime, doesn't get reported. Like in Chicago. All the massive shooting deaths? No big deal."
"Liberalism is exactly what it is, and liberals are who they are. And they do what they do every time they do it whatever it is. So I don't care whether it's crime, whether it's global warming, whether it's gun control. If liberals are behind it, there are certain things about it that you can be confident are true."
"'Labor Unions,' sent letters to Pelosi and Reid and Obama, telling them 'Obamacare Will 'Shatter' Our Health Benefits, Cause 'Nightmare Scenarios.'' Labor unions are Obama and the Democrats' number one supporters."
"Programs like the one today depress me and they infuriate me at the same time. It's a combination of both, 'cause I hate seeing what is happening to our country -- and it's manufactured. All these emotions that are being ginned up by the media, by the left, are the same thing: The Democrat Party, Democrats, leftists, liberals."
"Don't call 'em 'progressives,' either, and don't let them get away with calling themselves 'progressives.' You know, they don't like the term 'liberal' because it works in defining them. They do not like it. The American people do not want 'liberals.' That's why I get so frustrated that they can't see that more people are liberal, because the American people don't want liberalism."
"Don't call them 'progressives.' You talk about a misnomer! They are not progressive. They are not advancing anything. The change that they are advocating is disastrous, and you see it. We're living it."
"You know, if the Department of Justice wants to investigate something, you know what they should investigate? They should investigate the state attorney that started this whole process. They should investigate the legal justice system that made this into the circus that it is, if they were really serious about it."