"Wouldn't it be great if the media would spend as much time on Obama's failed health care as they are on the rodeo clown story? Well, we can dream."
"We have an entire Democrat political party and the American left which think that they are so damn special that they cannot be mocked, they cannot be made fun of."
"The whole Oprah Winfrey story is backfiring on her and is falling apart on her, and even the noted low-information cable network TMZ says the problem is Oprah is full of it. Oprah is full of it! TMZ! The low-information crowd is hearing all of this."
"When the UK Telegraph asks, 'Is Rush Limbaugh editing the New York Times?' can I translate that for you? What that means is, 'Is the New York Times telling the truth about something? Is the New York Times actually doing news?' is what that means."
"There's pessimism, particularly among young people, and it's because they do not think there's any prosperity left for them, they don't think there's any stuff left for them. They don't think there's any money to be earned; it's all gone. Their parents or grandparents' generation were the last ones that really had it made."
"I really am not familiar with Ashton Kutcher's politics. I know he was married to Demi Moore, and she is a Hollywood liberal. I know he's a Democrat. You practically have to be. I don't know if the things he's saying here from Sunday night are things that he has always believed or if they're new. I just don't know him well enough to know, or I don't know him at all, but I don't know of him. All I know is that what he said is right on. All I know is that what he said is exactly what young people in this country need to hear."
"This Missouri clown situation is so out of hand and out of proportion, and I'm gonna tell you what this is like, and I'm not gonna pull any punches. This is no different than those countries reacting freakishly when there were cartoons of the prophet Mohammed. It is as though President Obama is a messiah or is a god and this little thing that happened at the Missouri State Fair is a defamation, a denunciation, almost a religious sacrilege that took place."
"It's wrong to go through life subordinating yourself to others because it's either the polite thing to do or it's the proper thing to do for somebody inexperienced. Don't look at yourself that way. You only got one life. Make it what you want to be."
"Steve Jobs was totally opposed to self-confinement. He realized that most of the limitations that people faced were self-imposed, and that's what he was at that Stanford commencement speech trying to get across. Don't put limits on yourself. Everybody else is gonna be trying to do that. Don't let them."
"It's not just the Democrats on the left that are pessimistic and do not ever have an optimistic can-do message. There aren't very many Republicans that do, either. Which is another gigantic blown opportunity, if you ask me."
"The views and opinions expressed by the host of this program documented to be almost always right, 99.7% of the time. It's still there. No movement in many, many months. It's okay. It is what it is."
"I've been blessed. I've had so many wonderful things happen to me. Admittedly, I've made some of those happen. But I really believe if I can, anybody can, and the idea that this country's over in that regard just offends me as much as anything being said by the fatalists and the doomsdayers. But they're poisoning the minds of young people who are going to determine the kind of country this is."
"Snerdley's gonna end up calling me a great thinker again."
"Liberals are the most intolerant, and they have absolutely no sense of humor. They cannot take a punch. They cannot take a joke."
"If this were Bill Clinton in the White House and that clown had put on a Clinton mask, this would not have even been a story. This is just absurd. This is so over the top. It really bothers me, the whole scope of censorship and the First Amendment. The idea of people unable to laugh at themselves."
"Barack Obama can't laugh at himself. He's above it all, folks, you don't dare. We are dealing with somebody literally spoiled rotten from the early days of their lives."
"I won't be surprised if this clown gets thrown in jail like the filmmaker was, Nakoula Nakoula, who made the anti-Mohammed video. Obama tried to blame that for the Benghazi attack. This is what happens when you dare criticize or laugh at our Dear Leader."