"Ranking right there in the top five things that are the most fun about this job is toying with the media. It is so easy to play these people."
"The people who do not listen to this program have one of the most distorted views of our culture."
"The Obama clown was supposed to be a dummy on a stick like a scarecrow, who suddenly comes alive when the bull chases. That was the schtick. That was the routine. It's an old rodeo tradition. All these learned leftists who disdain American culture don't even know that."
"Today's Democrat Party needs a permanent underclass, and if they have to they'll create one."
"The elitists in this country, the vast majority of them are on the left, and it is striking how ignorant they are of life in this country for the vast majority of people."
"You know, the divide in this country is not racial, it's cultural."
"A big part of the American dream has always been upward mobility. But upward mobility is being mocked because it's unfair, because not everybody does it. It's not tolerated. It's not permitted, because not everybody can."
"It's rare that anybody comes up with something that I haven't thought of myself."
"People are inundated with a never-ending stream of pessimism and negativity from the Democrat Party, from the American media -- and, let's face it, probably quite a few people in general. Because, as we all know, pessimism is easy."
"If the American free market and capitalism were left alone, there would not be a permanent underclass in this country."
"Lincoln showed that a person could literally come from nothing and become president of the United States. These lessons are not taught today. Young people are taught just the opposite. The hopes and dreams and aspirations of young people today are being stomped on in order to perpetuate the myth that the American dream is dead, that you cannot improve your lot in life."
"It's so easy to listen to this program and figure out what happens here. Yet people think they know all about it without having to do that."
"I live rent free in Obama's head and I think over half the Drive-By Media heads. I live there."
"Have you ever had to act like you care about something when you don't? If you're married? Yeah, if you're in a relationship. You don't have to be married. (laughing) Why do I put myself in these situations?"
"We had to put Punkin to sleep a week ago. She was 16 years old. The first cat that I'd ever had, and ended up being the best pet that I've ever had. I'd always thought that cats were these aloof creatures that couldn't care less if you were around or not. And to strangers and so forth, they might be. When a cat attaches to you, some might say when a cat loves you, it's entirely different."
"Reagan had this ability to just make people feel good about the country and about themselves and the future, and that doesn't exist today. I mean, even Obama's fans are depressed."