"Maureen Dowd points out that Clinton got $700,000 for a speech in Lagos, $17 million in speaking fees, and she compares it to other presidents who've not traded on the presidency at all. It's not a pretty picture of the golden couple."
"When interviewed, some of the young customers complained that what Forever 21 was doing isn't fair. It didn't occur to them that they're doing it because of Obama. Here you have it, folks, the Limbaugh Theorem. Here is a company downsizing every employee to part time, not providing them health insurance, and the company's getting blamed. By the way, it's exactly the way this was drawn up in Washington."
"The New York Times continues to unload on the Clintons. It is as though I am editing the New York Times."
"Now, you know me, folks. I'm a born-and-bred capitalist, and I begrudge nobody success. But I do zero in on hypocrites, people who have theirs and then support policies that essentially put roadblocks in other people's pathway to success and prosperity."
"Maybe what we need is a ban on Democrat conversion therapy. That would mean a ban on the mainstream media. That would mean a ban on Hollywood. But if we're gonna ban conversion, why not ban the big one? Ban converting to Democrat."
"Forever 21 holds a special place in the hearts of young women who are afraid of me, 24-year-olds, you know, that age-group, who are easily scared by a confident and enormously successful talk show host. That would be me."
"I'm not trying to tease people, but everybody wants to know what I do on the weekend. I was at an undisclosed location with an undisclosed task, and it was enjoyable. It was a lot of fun."
"The greatest power you have is to be real. You're in a sea of people afraid to be who they are. More people, I betcha, lie about what they believe in just to avoid hassle. Just be real. There's so much power in that."
"Obama's ripping into the Republicans as per usual, and he's blaming them for all that's going wrong and blaming them for wanting to make things even worse, when he's the architect of all of it."
"What can Obama do that I can't? I cannot give you 99 weeks of unemployment. I cannot give you a cell phone. I cannot give you or make you think I'm going to give you, health care. I cannot give you food stamps. I can't buy you. I cannot purchase your support. I cannot give away anything that would lock you into supporting me. Barack Obama can and does give away whatever he has to in order to have supporters."
"Do you think Barack Obama could triumph if, in his job, he had to convince people to spend money, to part with money, to take care of themselves? He'd be an abject failure."
"Obama and the Democrats survive by giving everybody what they want, or at least the perception is that the Democrats and Obama have compassion, and that they will take care of you. I can't give anybody anything."
"The Republican Party cannot stop anything, and they can't propose and make anything happen. They do have the votes. They do not have the support. The Republican Party can't gum up the works. God bless 'em if they would try. But they're not gumming up the works."
"It is Obama and the Democrats who've made a mess of it. It's Obama and the Democrats who have forever changed the relationship of citizen to state. It is Obama and the Democrats who have turned the American people, particularly when it comes to health care, into servants of government."
"If Obamacare is defunded, why would Obama shut down the government? The Republicans cannot shut down government. It would be Obama and the Democrats shutting down the government."
"Even if you are one day behind on this program you are still way ahead of the rest of the mainstream media. The mainstream media doesn't figure out what happens on this program for two or three days, because they refuse to listen to it."
"The services that we provide at RushLimbaugh.com, we got the Limbaugh Broadcast Museum, which is one of the most amazing technological, graphical feats of accomplishment anywhere on the World Wide Web."
"There's no excuse for ever missing anything that happens on this program."