"Folks, do you realize what's happening? Somebody has finally taken John Kerry seriously at one of the most inopportune times for the United States."
"We are a worldwide joke and everybody knows it but us. You know, what's happened on this Syria thing? This is a Saturday Night Live skit!"
"In the eyes of the world, this country has to be a laughingstock. It has to be a joke, and most of the people of this country don't even know it."
"The John Kerry gaffe has become the official policy of the United States in Syria with Obama and the media now claiming credit for a brilliant strategy! This is the Limbaugh Theorem on display."
"The American people can no longer sit down at 6:30 every night and watch one of three networks and find out what happened that day. The reason we are weak is because the media is so fractured."
"The media's on Obama's side! They can make it look like Obama's a force of nature and Obama's very presence scared the heck out of Assad and Putin, and Assad and Putin ran in there and they grabbed those chemical weapons and they got 'em out of Syria, all because they're so afraid of Obama."
"Snowden's been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize not Putin. Did you know that? Snowden! I'm not kidding you. Edward Snowden been nominated for Nobel Peace Prize. I kid you not."
"So Obama's speech tonight can be on how tough and great he is, but shouldn't it be Vladimir Putin? It's his policy! Vladimir Putin ought to be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. Vladimir Putin ought to be addressing the American people tonight on TV, not Obama."
"This book promotes the greatness of America, American exceptionalism, the kind of people that came here and overcame hardship and obstacles to realize their dreams. It's a unique story. It's a blessed story. It is a great story. It's why we're all here. It's an attempt to give kids the truth."
"Putin gets credit for holding the weapons, so Putin gets credit for being trustworthy in all this. Putin gets credit for there being no US military attack, and it's being portrayed here as Putin saves Obama."
"We have the military might, but we're reluctant to project it in real ways, and even Obama and Kerry said, "This isn't gonna be any big deal, just a couple of missiles, 25 minutes, no big deal." They bragged about how small the attack would be. It is laughable."
"Young people think that they're not gonna do as well or better than their parents, but it's not Obama's fault."
"You have to try to make things happen and that's all about educating people, informing people, working on 'em, and it's tough. It's hard. It's very easy to be ignorant. It's blissful sometimes, and most ignorant people don't know that they are and don't want to admit that they are."
"Bashar Assad stays in power and is free to resume conventional bombing of the rebels whose side I thought we were on in all this. Yeah, "the rebels" -- really Al-Qaeda, but the rebels."
"The Russians are laughing themselves silly, like we all are. It ought to be Vladimir Putin addressing the nation tonight, not Obama. It's Putin's idea."