"All this upcoming vote in the Senate does is let Senate Republicans and some Senate Democrats be able to tell their low-information constituents that they voted to defund Obamacare. This is a giant scam that the Senate is running on people today, at the behest of Dingy Harry."
"Global warming, climate change, is a leftist, Democrat Party political movement. If I could just make everybody believe that, it would be the end of this."
"We got a new kitten. She's the most affectionate little thing. We named her Allie. Unlike most cats, she's not yet reached the aloof status. That will happen as she gets older, becomes a woman cat."
"Apparently the science is not enough to persuade the world that we're getting warmer. So we need a consensus of scientists to say that it is. But then when you have a consensus, i.e., a vote, do you have science?"
"Science has never been up to a vote, real science. Politics always is."
"So if somebody's gonna give you money to study global warming, and they believe in it, you better have science that indicates that it's happening. If you do, you'll keep getting your money, and you'll keep being able to buy food and cars and houses and so forth."
"If I'm in a global warming movement, and it hasn't warmed up in the last 15 years, I'd claim credit for it."
"If we wanted to deliver ourselves from the concept of governing by crisis, what would we do? We would get rid of the Democrat Party. Who is it that creates a crisis every time? It's the Democrat Party. They set the agenda."
"The theory is that Ted Cruz knows that this defunding of Obamacare isn't gonna happen, never was gonna happen, and you're just being tricked and used, and you're gonna be sad and let down and enraged when you find that out. Is that true?"
"So we can't do what the Republicans want because they lost? Has that ever stopped the Democrats?"
"The Senate vote that Dingy Harry is orchestrating is the show vote. It's a major scam to try to fool the low-information folks back home into thinking that there are some Democrats who want to defund Obamacare."
"You Republicans, you're all worried about what the media says. How do you think people believe that? 'Cause the Democrats, with the media, for years have been describing you guys the way they describe you. That's why they believe it. They hear it over and over again."
"Success is never guaranteed for anybody except the Kennedys."
"No matter what they might tell you, there isn't a politician alive who cares anywhere near as much about your future as you do, nor is there anybody else, other than your parents."
"We just had this story, 57% of high school graduates are not prepared to go to college. Well, part of that is what they're being taught. And they're not even being inspired to learn. In addition, what they are learning, in many cases about American history, is just wrong and it's being taught by people who don't like this country, for a whole host of reasons."
"For the longest time, I didn't wear blue jeans. I didn't wear T-shirts. I didn't wear my hair long. I did not want to be associated with the '60s radicals. I wanted to be in the establishment."
"The architects of failure are the ones that continue to build on failure after failure after failure. I have yet to see the people of this country arise, other than at elections."
"The black family has been ripped apart by LBJ's War on Poverty and the Great Society. I mean, literally it has -- and it's not me saying that. It is African-Americans for 25 years who've called here and made that point."
"If the blame game worked, FDR would not be a hero, he'd be a goat. LBJ would not be lionized. LBJ would be an absolute failure if the entitlement state not working and imploding and collapsing caused harm to its architects."
"Do you think the people getting Obama phones are gonna rise up in anger over the fact they're getting Obama phones? The only way would be if they don't work, but they do."
"We've introduced one dog to the new kitten. Well, two dogs. The lead dog, Abbey, is not having it. Abbey didn't care when another dog showed up. This cat, it's another story. Wellesley doesn't care. She's totally clueless anyway."