"The number one story at TMZ is that Kim Kardashian's big butt is back. So I came in second to Kim Kardashian's butt. Now, would that have happened 10 years ago? I don't know, but I'll take it."
"If I sound like I'm enjoying myself, it's not artificial. It's real."
"I wonder how many people think today that since the government is back in business, that health care is free and it's okay to go to the exchanges and sign up for free health care. I wonder how many people thinking that. 'Cause, folks, that is a continuing disaster that is unfold."
"With all due respect for those of you inside the Beltway, those of us out here don't understand why you look at Ted Cruz as your number one enemy and not Obama. And why you look at Mike Lee and Cruz -- and maybe even Sarah Palin or talk radio or RedState or whoever. Why are we the enemy? We're not doing anything. Barack Obama has got the wrecking ball. Why can't you people focus on Obama?"
"Did you know, ladies and gentlemen, that there's all kinds of pork in the deal? There are all kinds of hidden goodies in there. Do you know federal workers get a pay raise in January under the deal, and these people are also getting their Obamacare subsidized? Not all federal workers. Members of Congress and their staff. That's still the case."
"If Fox News and me are an 'echo chamber,' what is the Drive-By Media? They're the Grand Canyon of echo chambers."
"There's no critical thinking, no independent thinking, no curiosity -- and, as such, they're not journalists. They're hacks! They're pure party hacks"
"The sequester ticks the Democrats off like you can't believe, and they are not able to get rid of it."
"Obama's agenda has been stalled, and that's because the Republicans held firm on the sequester -- and Ted Cruz and Mike Lee."
"We send the money to Washington for efficient use in running the government. "Don't waste it. Don't make people dependent. Don't create a bunch of serfs," and the exact opposite has happened."
"When liberalism is defeated, whoever engineers that defeat (i.e., whoever wins) must be destroyed. That's why it's an ongoing battle. It never ends. You never win it forever."
"Try to always stay focused on the objectives that are possible and the positive -- and on having fun outside of the stuff that's going on in Washington."
"If I'da been Alec Baldwin, I'd have beat up the TMZ guys. And then I woulda had some bank call and ask me, 'Do you want to be our spokesman? We love the way you beat people up, and we don't want to have any conservatives speaking for us, but if you're gonna beat up photographers, we'd love to have you!'"
"One man -- $7 trillion of the $17 trillion national debt, tied to one guy -- and reporters are saying, 'Now, is Obama serious about debt reduction?' I mean, the mind boggles."
"The battle for freedom and liberty really never is over, and there are really low points in it, but I'm not giving up, and I'm not gonna engage in phony pep talks, either."