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ChiCom Couple Sells Baby for iPhone
RUSH: Get this, folks.  I have a story here from Shanghai and the French News Agency, AFP.  It's lke the French version of the State-Controlled Media here, the Associated Press. 

"A young [ChiCom] couple are facing criminal punishment for 'selling' their infant daughter and using the proceeds to buy an Apple iPhone, state media said Friday."  I'll tell you what: I hope they were at least holding out for a 5S, if they did this.  I hope they held out for a 5S and not a 5C. If they're gonna sell the kid to get the phone, I hope they went top of the line.  "Shanghai prosecutors have brought a case against them for human trafficking after they illegally put their third child up for adoption online and accepted money for the baby... 

"Investigators found the mother, whose full name was not given, used the money to buy an iPhone, high-end sports shoes..." Oh, so she got an iPhone and she got some Air Jordans and "other goods," probably an external charger that won't electrocute her.  "Apple’s products are wildly popular in China, where a teenager sold his kidney and used the funds to buy an iPhone and iPad in an incident widely reported last year.  But the couple told police that they wanted the girl to have a better upbringing than they could afford, since they already had two children," but they didn't have an iPhone.
Gearing Up for Another Pink NFL Weekend
RUSH:  Another NFL pink weekend on tap, and we're still gonna be moving forward here on Fatherhood Awareness Month in the NFL.  We proposed it yesterday.

This AP Story on the Shutdown is Not a Parody
RUSH: Folks, I have an actual news story here from the AP.  This is not a parody.  This is not a satire.  This is not from The Onion. It is not from any kind of a comedy website.  It is actually written by an Associated Press reporter called Don Babwin, B-a-b-w-i-n, and it's a news story.  They don't even call it "analysis."  It is a news story -- and I'll tell you up front, it's hilarious.  It's a textbook example of propaganda masquerading as journalism at its worst.  The headline of the piece: "Shutdown Affected Us in Ways We Did Not See." 

Well, right there you get an idea where this is headed.  Try this: "Our food was a little less safe, our workplaces a little more dangerous. The risk of getting sick was a bit higher, our kids' homework tougher to complete." I'm telling you, this is not a satire. It's not parody. It's not from The Onion.  It's a news article from America's foremost journalists, and that is the lede: "Our food was a little less safe, our workplaces a little more dangerous.

The risk of getting sick was a bit higher, our kids' homework tougher to complete. The federal government shutdown may have seemed like a frustrating squabble in far-off Washington, but it crept into our lives in small, subtle ways -- from missed vegetable inspections to inaccessible federal websites.  The 'feds' always are there in the background, setting the standards by which we live, providing [money] to research cures for our kids' illnesses, watching over our food supply and work environment." 

Uh, "The 'feds' always are ... setting the standards by which we live"?  Man, would Josef Stalin have loved this guy!  This guy would have found a way into the Communist Party leadership.  What a dupe!  But it's not anywhere near finished.  "So how did the shutdown alter our daily routines? Here's a look at a day in the life of the 2013 government shutdown.  That sausage patty on your breakfast plate was safe as ever because meat inspectors -- like FBI agents -- are considered 'essential' and remained at work.

"But federal workers who inspect just about everything else on your plate -- from fresh berries to scrambled eggs -- were furloughed." Do you know how close to came to getting sick?  "And what about the food that made it to your plate? The federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta, which furloughed 9,000 of its 13,000 workers, said the shutdown slowed its response to an outbreak of salmonella in chicken that sickened people in 18 states."

Uh, Mr. Babwin, the CDC recalled those "workers," and if they're so important to the public's health, why were they considered to be "nonessential" by this very government that you lionize?  And exactly how does the CDC help after there's been an outbreak of salmonella anyway?  "At a warehouse, factory or other worksite, a young minority exposed to racial slurs by his boss had one fewer place to turn for help."  I kid you not.  This is not AP news story! 

"At a warehouse, factory or other worksite, a young minority exposed to racial slurs by his boss had one fewer place to turn for help. Federal officials who oversee compliance with discrimination laws and labor practices weren't working, except in emergencies.  The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission was not issuing right-to-sue letters, so people could not take discrimination cases into federal court...  Workplaces weren't inspected by the Occupational Safety and Health Administration.

"One result? Employees could operate dangerous equipment even if not trained or old enough to do so. ... The CDC slashed staffing at quarantine stations at 20 airports and entry points, raising chances travelers could enter the country carrying diseases like measles undetected." You know, if I'da known this, I'da sent the dogs over to Hawaii so we woulda had 'em there for Christmas.  "Children learned the meaning of shutdown when they got home and booted up computers to do homework.

"From the US Census bureau site to NASA maps, they were greeted by alerts that said government sites were down 'due to the shutdown.'"  Oh, my God, the children couldn't do their homework because of the shutdown!  (God, I wish I'da had that excuse.)  "After hours is when the shutdown arrived at many people's homes.  Monique Howard's 5-year-old son, Carter, has the most trouble with his asthma at night, when his breathing is labored.

"Her family dreams of a cure, the kind doctors are hunting through federally funded research grants at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago.  During the shutdown, the doctors had to stop submitting grant applications to study childhood asthma and other diseases and disorders. Hospital officials said the shutdown could have delayed funding for nearly half a year," and  of course, without the government and without funding, there will not be a cure for asthma.  How many years have we been trying to cure childhood asthma? 

About a thousand.

So two weeks go by, and I guess in those two weeks we were going to find the cure, but the damn Republicans shut it down and now this little kid's gonna die because of the Republicans, because the funding might not come back for half a year!  This little guy believes this crap, folks.  Now, who taught this guy what he knows?  Who inculcated in this young skull full of mush with the idea, the notion that you can't get through a 24-hour day without the government functioning in every aspect of his life, 'cause he clearly thinks it's required. 

Who taught him this crap, journalism school or before that?

It's probably everybody he's encountered.


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