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Pearls of Wisdom

"So I turned 63 yesterday. It was a Sunday and I didn't do anything, and it was glorious. I didn't do anything. 'It was just another day.' Jon Secada, 1994."

"For my birthday, the staff gave themselves shirts."

"So I turned 63 yesterday. It was a Sunday and I didn't do anything, and it was glorious. I didn't do anything. 'It was just another day.'"

"YouGov.com did a poll commissioned by the Times of London. They polled the most admired people in America, and then they polled the most admired people in the world, and they did this in 13 countries that have more than half of the world's population. In America, in last place at number 10, was Hillary Clinton. Number nine was your host, me."

"I cringe every time I acknowledge that there are low-information voters. I don't want there to be low-information voters. I mean, I know there are and there will be, but I'd like to chip away at that."

"Christie may well be worth defending,. I don't know. He may well be worth a Clarence Thomas-type defense, but notice that nobody is coming forth with one. They've all got that caveat. 'He's home free IF he's not lying.' This is not a comment about Governor Christie, so please don't misunderstand or be confused."

"The radio entertainer, Rush Limbaugh, is more admired in the United States than Hillary Clinton. That's right. I didn't even know this was going on. There was no way I could stoke the poll. I didn't even tell anybody anything. I didn't even know it was going on, so it's a legit result."

"Did you watch the NFL playoffs over the weekend? tell you, the league is losing control of these games. That San Francisco-Carolina game, that wasn't a football game. That was just a neighborhood street brawl. There's all kinds of stuff going on in addition to it that to me, as a longtime fan, is highly troubling."

"I'm not surprised. I even, if you'll recall, predicted this. Obama is planning a bailout for the insurance companies. Oh, it was an easy prediction, but, I mean, just now it's coming true."

"The unemployment rate's down to 6.7%, and everybody now acknowledges that has been accomplished because we don't count the people who are no longer looking for work. My idea: Every one of you now looking for work, stop, and we'll get the unemployment rate down to zero. Well, do the math. It freaking works."

"I don't even get a break when my birthday comes on Sunday."

"If you watched the Sunday shows yesterday -- which I didn't. I get reports, transcripts, that kind of thing. I can't watch them anymore. I tried watching cable news the other night and I just went nuts. It just makes me mad. It's... It's sophomoric."

"I have never been inclined to just say outrageous things to get noticed or to tick people off."