"They're gonna bring in a parade of undocumented immigrants to the State of the Coup speech for the express purpose of having them portrayed as victims. People who are breaking the law are being present as worthy of our sympathy and being presented as examples of what a mean country this is."
"I would love to see the Republicans, now and then, put their arms around women who are married to other men and take pictures of themselves, selfies, like Obama did at the Mandela memorial. Wouldn't that be great? They could guarantee themselves holding onto the House if they did that."
"If you're doing a drinking game watching the State of the Coup address, I have a word guaranteed to keep you sober all night. That word is 'Wisconsin.' You will not hear the president mention Wisconsin at all tonight, unless he lies about it."
"I find myself incredulous so many times during the day now that it's hard not to spend the whole day in incredulity."
"The welfare state puts the brakes on human advancement, ambition, desire, education, self-reliance, self-sufficiency, and achievement. The welfare state prevents all of that from happening by becoming or making possible total dependence on the state, which requires no ambition, no education, no desire, no upward mobility, nothing. All you have to do is be a sponge."
"I'm gonna tell you something, folks. I don't care how unsexy the Super Bowl teams are; I will make you the following bet: I will bet you that the Super Bowl ratings trounce the ratings for the State of the Coup speech tonight. Anybody have any doubt that that will happen?"
"I'm not tax phobic. I'm just tax smart."
"My lifestyle, where I determine that I will go, is indeed affected by taxes."
"Sherman says he's not gonna attack anyone. It's not gonna make the media happy. They had so much hope invested in Sherman rocking and rolling all week."
"The media wants you to see the State of the Coup as, 'Can Obama revive his sagging poll numbers? Can Obama successfully make an end run around the Congress? Can Obama use the power of the office and executive powers and executive orders to move his agenda forward? Can Obama thumb the Republicans in the eye? Can he finally just tell the Republicans to leave?' That's the interest that the media has in this."
"Pete Seeger, this folk singer stuff? I mean, he may as well be Alinsky Jr. I guarantee you... I don't I guarantee you, I just will tell you. If there's a moment of silence for Pete Seeger tonight at the State of the Coup, I will not be surprised. This is a deeply meaningful passing to people on the left."
"We began a War on Poverty in 1964. It was first led by the president of the day, Lyndon Johnson. Since that day, we have effectively had redistribution of wealth to the tune of nearly $20 trillion, somewhere between $15 trillion and $20 trillion, and we still have the same percentages of people in poverty and below the poverty line that we had when we started. Expressed as percentages, we haven't made a dent."
"The minimum wage is not an economic issue with people. It's an emotional issue. It's become one of fairness."