"Marie Antoinette said, 'Let 'em eat cake.' Not Michelle Obama. Michelle Obama's new slogan from the White House is, 'Don't let them eat cake!'"
"Vladimir Putin is reassembling the Soviet Union, and while all that's going on Obama is filling out his March Madness bracket picks."
"The Regime not only is acting as an evil insurance company, they are enabling insurance companies to be more evil."
"Depending on your age, you may not have been taught the Monroe Doctrine, because I guarantee you, the leftists in charge of education today hate it."
"The White House pastry chef has resigned. He was forced out, and he's doing it because he needs to defend cream, butter, sugar, and eggs, because nobody else will. He is gay, he is married, and Michelle Obama still told him, 'I don't care what you're good at. You're not gonna use butter in the White House, and you're not gonna use cream, and you're not gonna use sugar, and you're not gonna use eggs.' So this guy had to come up with fruit puree as a sugar substitute in his baked goods, and he finally threw up his hands and said, 'To heck with it. I'm outta here.'"
"The regime will allow you to be covered if you have a preexisting condition, but then the medicine you need to treat it might not be covered -- in which case, you're not covered."
"Vladimir Putin only had to look at Obama's resume to know that he was no contest. All he had to see was community organizer, community agitator, and that's all Putin needed to know, to know he could take him."
"You don't need to go to the Roman Empire to find out why societies dissipate. You just need to look at Cuba. You just need to look at the Venezuela."
"It was not inequality and lack of natural resources that doomed the Roman Empire. It's crazy."
"Well, here's a headline that says it all: "Putin Redraws Russian Borders; Obama Unveils Bracket Picks." Does that not say it all?"
"People who tune in here every day expect better than the best. That's why the stick-to-the-issues crowd gets so irritated now and then if I deviate."
"Because of various clauses peppered throughout, scattered throughout the Obamacare law, insurance companies -- evil insurance companies -- are allowed to profit even more while all of this hardship is going on for patients."
"Let's say you've got a house, and it's all of a sudden on fire, and you call the insurance company, 'Hey, I need some homeowners insurance right now -- like in the next five minutes!' Well, if they cover you, that's not insurance. I don't care what anybody thinks; that's welfare."
"There are sugar shortages in Venezuela! Do you know who their client state is? Cuba! What's their number one export in Cuba? Sugar!"
"There are none so blind as those who don't listen."
"We cannot, no matter how good we are, persuade low-information people that we are being governed by people who really don't think this is the greatest place on earth and wouldn't be unhappy if they could undermine it."