"I can't tell you the thrill and the delight and the literal fun it is to know that, just by waking up, I have ruined the day for millions of liberals."
"I think Putin is a student of the American media and knows exactly how to play to it. He's running around with no shirt and making himself look like a hunk while our president is wearing mom jeans and can't even throw a baseball in the first pitch at a Washington Nationals game that doesn't embarrass everybody."
"I think Vladimir Putin is on the move now because he knows that he has limited time. He's never going to have this lack of opposition to what he's doing in the United States. He's got three years, and I think he's gonna try to make the most of it."
"Arnold Schwarzenegger went to Google. Google is a smoke-free environment, and he pulled out a giant Montecristo and lit up right under the sign saying "no smoking." I just love that kind of stuff."
"You know, people ask me, 'Rush, what's it like to be you?' I've even had people say, 'Rush everybody wants to be you.' I said, 'Well, be careful what you wish for.'"
"Fox has brought in Geraldo Rivera to talk about the missing Malaysian Airlines Flight 370. When you bring in the Grim Reaper, that means somebody somewhere thinks that we're going to be talking about actual death, 'cause that's when Geraldo shows up, when somebody's died or been in a bad accident or will die or something."
"Homework assignment! Read 'The Overprotected Kid' at TheAtlantic.com. It's long. Read it, and we will discuss it on Monday. I've never given a homework assignment. This is the first one."
"There are a lot of African-Americans who thought that Obama's election would mean that he would do things specifically for them, and that hasn't happened. Black unemployment is skyrocketing. Black teenage unemployment is skyrocketing. None of the grievances that black leaders cite have even been addressed by Obama."
"I was only fibbing when I said we had a very long commercial break. Whoever tells you they have a long commercial break and that we'll be back in a while? Nobody does. So I just thought I would have fun with it."