RUSH: Don't you just love it? CNN's how running a story, "Black Boxes May Not Solve Mystery of Crashed Airline." Of course not! There's never gonna be a solution to the mystery, otherwise CNN's gotta pack it in. There can't be a solution. The black boxes are of course not gonna tell us anything, or not nearly enough. CNN is set for life on the crash of Malaysian Flight 370.
RUSH: Oh, my, I don't believe this. I do not believe it. Where is this from? Holy smokes. Belgium? Why, that's a Western Europe democracy. That's where they're really smarter than we are. That's the kind of country we want to be, right? Obama spoke in Brussels, right, at NATO and all that. Oh, my God, I can't believe what I'm looking at. I can't show you this. (interruption) I can't. (interruption)
I am not gonna put this up, Snerdley. There's no way. But I'm just telling you: If Leland Yee saw this, can you imagine what his reaction would be? By the way, we're getting the audio of what it was that set him off. Cookie's cutting it now, and it was basically Hu Jintao. He was in town, and he was speaking, and it wasn't translated, and I started imitating Chinese, and I threw in things.
I can't remember specifically, but I threw in something in English while doing the impression, and they just got ticked off that I was mocking the Chinese language, just making fun of it. That was racist and bigoted, and I should be censored, thrown into the pits, what have you. (interruption) Yeah, he tried to start a boycott and everything. But what I'm looking at here, this is a Belgian newspaper.
Let me just tell you, folks: We keep hearing that Europeans are the sophisticates. The Europeans are the kind of society we should emulate. They are sophisticated and refined and responsible and so forth. I am holding here in my formerly nicotine-stained fingers pictures from a newspaper, the De Morgan is the name of the newspaper, and they have two pictures. On the left, it's Obama, smiling.
On top of the picture, "First Black President of the USA," and then underneath, "Starts Selling Weed." And then there is a picture just to the right, same size. These are square pictures about three-inches square. They are color. Notice, by the way, how adept and considerate I am in descriptions of things, so you can visualize this. It's a picture of Barack Obama and Moochelle (My Belle) Obama.
The pictures have been Photoshopped to where this look like the stars of Planet of the Apes. In a Belgian newspaper, where Obama is today, our president being mocked. I don't know if they're playing off Rumsfeld's comments that even a trained ape... (interruption) They're not? (interruption) You've read the story; it's nothing to do with Rumsfeld. It's a swipe at Putin, is what the story is.
I guess this is what Putin thinks of Obama, that he's dealing with a couple people on Planet of the Apes, and then we have this story the Huffing and Puffington Post: "Belgian Newspaper Accused of Racism For Picture of Obama and Michelle as Apes." Now, I'm not going to show you this. I'm not going there. Even though Leland Yee is headed for jail (chuckling), I'm not gonna be the one to show you this stuff.
You saw Planet of the Apes. Just imagine Michelle and Barack as characters, and you can imagine what this newspaper published here. The headline's gonna be "Limbaugh Enjoyed Discussing..." You can just imagine it now. By the way, this paper apologized and said they printed the picture as a joke under a Putin byline.
The paper was attempting to mock Putin and the two leaders' public fight. The picture is posted under a Putin byline. So this is what they tried to convey that Putin thinks of Obama, not them at the newspaper. But they still did it! They still did the Photoshop, and they still published it -- in sophisticated Europe, Belgium, headquarters of NATO.
RUSH: Some low-information news here just to take a little break. Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband, Chris Martin, of the rock 'n' roll super crooner group Coldplay, are getting a divorce. That's how you and I would describe it. They have released the news that they have consciously uncoupled. (interruption) Yeah, unconsciously uncoupled would be one of them having had an affair, but consciously uncoupled, that's therapy lingo.
The actress, that would be Gwyneth Paltrow, has a website called Goop, and she's taken to her Goop website to announce the separation, the conscious uncoupling from her husband of 10 years. Now, they consciously coupled in secret in Mexico in December of 2003. They also consciously coupled at least twice in the marriage because they have a daughter, nine-years-old, named Apple, and a son, Moses, seven. They admit that they have battled to save their conscious coupling, and they have even consciously uncoupled in a trial conscious uncoupling a couple of times, but it hasn't worked. It does sound kind of goopy.
Now, the statement posted on the Goop site that Gwyneth runs, says, "We will always be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been." Absolutely right. That's what consciously uncoupling does to you. It makes you closer than you've ever been. This is exactly how they think in the New Age pop culture. You split up, and you're closer than ever. Gwyneth, of course, has been forced to deny conscious coupling with others during the marriage. In your lingo and mine that would be having an affair. She was forced to deny. What do you mean, forced? What, did somebody make her deny it? Did she not want to deny that she was having an affair? Was she threatened, or was she forced to deny it because she did have it but lied about it?
The actress has said on prior occasions, "Life is complicated and long and I know people that I respect and admire and look up to who have had extra-marital affairs," and I want mine." No, she didn't say that, but obviously having an extramarital affair is a bonus point for Gwyneth with some of her pals, that's what that means. On her site called Goop, experts are now handing out tips for divorce, which is conscious uncoupling. (interruption) Gwyneth Paltrow, what is she famous for? You don't know what she's famous for? You can't be serious. You don't know what Gwyneth Paltrow is famous for?
Well, I'll tell you one thing, she looks exactly like Kathryn Limbaugh, that's number one. That's one thing she's famous for. The other thing she's famous for, well, she at one time had a conscious coupling with Brad Pitt. And they were known as Gwyneth and Bradeth. And then Bradeth left Gwyneth in a conscious uncoupling and went over to Jennifer Aniston. And then it was Bradaniston. (interruption) Who was in the Iron Man series? Gwyneth was in Iron Man? Well, I had no clue. I've not seen it. Don't yell at me. I haven't seen Iron Man. Cut me some slack. And then it became Brangelina, then Bradeth went Brangelina. That's basically what she's known for.
RUSH: Bob Knight, former coach, Indiana University, now over at ESPN, said the NBA has raped college basketball, and they're not happy about it at ESPN. The sports Drive-Bys can get so sanctimonious, and I guarantee you that the sports Drive-Bys, some of them are literally -- and they've been hiding, just irritated that ESPN hired Bob Knight 'cause they've never liked him, 'cause Bob Knight was an individual. Bob Knight was never a conformist and so forth. He was disciplining the kids, some said he went too far, but then when ESPN hired him they've just been waiting. So now Knight is out there, and he said that the NBA has raped college basketball.
What he means is they're taking players too soon. Players leaving college, going to the NBA, college basketball is suffering for it. But the sanctimonious Drive-Bys are having a fit that he would trivialize the act of rape by comparing it to college basketball or something. How dare he trivialize something as horrendous and horrible and, ew, awful as rape by comparing it to basketball. So they're lying in wait. ESPN spokesman sent along a statement: "We spoke with him. ESPN regrets the use of the word." I don't know what action they're going to take.
RUSH: The latest health note. You know, the left, I can come up with maybe one wild guess, but they are just hell-bent on separating you from your cell phone. You know, how many years have they been trying to scare you away from using your phone because it could cause brain cancer? Well, that kind of fizzled.
Now this from the UK Telegraph: "Texting and using mobile devices for long periods of time could lead to lower life expectancy..." You know who's warning us about this? (interruption) No, it's chiropractors this time. "The forward-leaning posture that many people adopt when texting, going online, sending emails or playing games on phones and other mobile devices increases the risk of an early death in elderly people..."
Of course, how can elderly people experience "early death"? Can somebody explain that to me? What is "early death" for a seasoned citizen? But it says right here: "[T]he risk of an early death in elderly people" is higher if they are texting or gaming or e-mailing on their mobile device, "and there are fears that younger people could also be knocking time off their lives.
"The United Chiropractic Association (UCA) claims that poor posture is as big a health risk as obesity." Isn't it true that every day it seems -- certainly every week -- there is a new health emergency or disaster that you just happen to be engaged in? It could be what you're eating. It could be what you're drinking.
It could be what you're driving or it could be what you're watching on TV. It could be you're holding your phone close to the head and causing cancer! Now you are knocking years off your life because you are destroying your posture by virtue of the way you sit when you text or e-mail or game on your mobile device.
So the sub-headline for this story should be, what? "Stand up straight!" I wish I had a dollar for every one of these crisis health warnings since I've been alive. (interruption) Yeah. The elderly are gaming, the elderly are texting, and the elderly are sending e-mail. As such, the elderly are elderly are at risk, greater risk than anybody else for an early death. That's right. I just wanted to be the first to warn you.
RUSH: I meant to weigh in today on the transporting of these millions of baby salmon because of the drought. I didn't have a chance to, so I've made a note to myself. I'll weigh in on this tomorrow, because I don't understand how this is okay to do.