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Host Battles Ravages of Common Cold
RUSH:  Yeah, right.  Greetings, my friends, and great to have you here.  It's El Rushbo and the Excellence in Broadcasting Network, and we've got three straight hours of broadcast excellence just for you, hosted by me doing what I was born to do, the all-knowing, all-caring, all-sensing, all-feeling, all-concerned Maha Rushie fighting the ravages of the common cold virus.  You know, it's been sneaking up on me for the past three days, and I'm convinced that nicotine is one of the greatest weapons against the common cold.  I mean, I used to smoke cigarettes, and when I quit smoking cigarettes I was sick all the time. I mean, I had respiratory stuff. I had colds and bronchitis type stuff, and it literally went on for years and years. 

You know, when I started smoking cigars back in 1993, 1994, I got a cold every two years.  And when I get one, it's not bad at all.  This thing has just been creeping up on me.  You know, the increasing tightness in the bronchial tubes, you just know.  So you start psychologically beating it back. You say, "You're not gonna win this," to the virus, just start talking to the thing.  And last night when I went to bed, I knew. I knew there was a chance I was gonna wake up with a really sore throat and a swollen throat. It's just moderately so, and hopefully this will be the worst of it. (interruption) Yep, using some Zicam. I always go get that, it's the first thing that happens, and we will see. 

I turn into a big baby when I have a full-fledged cold.  It may as well be the flu.  I just turn into a big baby and unlike with most people, it doesn't get me any sympathy from anybody.  But normally if it just stays like this it isn't gonna be bad.  I just feel a little sluggish out there, just a little lethargic.  And of course the boundaries sort of expand, too.  It's sort of like showing up giddy with not a whole lot of sleep.  So I'm just warning you where we're headed.  

Project X at EIB Southern Command
RUSH:  I can't answer that question.  What happened here yesterday after the program is still Project X.  In fact, those of you, when you tuned in today, the Dittocam was on a wide-angle mode because we had some super-secret video production that we did in here after the program yesterday, and I forgot to tighten it back to the normal frame for the first segment or two.  So Dawn just asked me if what happened yesterday gave me the cold, and I can't tell you what happened yesterday. 

It's still Project X. 

But I can tell you it's related Rush Revere and Liberty and the Brave Pilgrims and the First Patriots.  

Early Reporting on Michael Philip Jagger's Girlfriend's Finances was All Wrong
RUSH:  Michael Phillip Jagger, otherwise known as Mick, who decompresses in Mustique in the Caribbean.  Don't go there when he's there, they won't let you on.  Greetings, and welcome back, El Rushbo... (interruption)  What?  Yeah.  Yeah, you know, that's another thing.  L'Wren Scott, yeah, his long relationship.  See, she committed suicide and they said: She's in debt $6 million, business gone to hell. She's got nothing left. Jagger wouldn't marry her and she took her own life. 

It turns out she had an estate worth $9 million.  The original reporting on the circumstances of her life were dead wrong.  It was all wrong.  Nobody knows, she didn't leave a note, but she was not facing bankruptcy.  It was just all wrong.  Six million in debt, so forth.  She was 6-3.  That's why she had to start her own design firm, to make clothes for herself; nobody else did.  I guarantee you, Michael Phillip Jagger, if he's anything, he's five seven, you know, it's a good day.  


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