"Folks, this is the largest radio talk show audience in the country, by far. If every one of you simply phoned in $1 to our Leukemia and Lymphoma Society Cure-A-thon, a new record would be set -- and who knows -- we might find cures. It's that many people."
"This is our 24th annual radio Cure-A-Thon for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society of America. It's 24 years that we have done this, and you people have enabled records to be set in terms of donations. You have enabled research and progress toward cures of the blood cancers that are unparalleled."
"By supporting our Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Cure-A-Thon, you made it possible for people to continue to live. It's really no more complicated than that. This is another reason why, folks, what you do matters so much. It's why you call 877-379-8888 or go to RushLimbaugh.com and donate."
"Kathryn and I are going to kick this off with a cool half a million. Now, we've gotten there in increments in previous years, but I've never started with this amount. So I'm just gonna start with that and then throw it open to you."
"I must be the only guy that said anything not glowingly, overwhelmingly supportive of Colbert. I must be the only guy, 'cause I'm all over the media as the malcontent. It's just amazing. Everybody's sheep."
"When they threw a shoe at Bush, they loved the shoe thrower. Whoever threw the shoe at Hillary is now hated and despised."
"You know, all these people at the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, they're like my friends at the Marine Corps-Law Enforcement Foundation. They don't get paid anything. All of the money goes to helping. I mean, it's incredible."
"I really think Sebelius, despite her age, really believed that this was gonna end up being utopia, and it's just a mess. I think she's overwhelmed with the pressure of it. She doesn't know what she's doing. She has no clue. She doesn't know taxes. She doesn't know websites. She doesn't know anything but reactionary liberalism where things are just supposed to work. And nothing is working."
"There's always gonna be an America, just like there's always a France and there's gonna be a UK. There's always gonna be an America. It's just, "What is it going to be?" That's really what the fight is about."
"Leukemia causes more deaths than any other cancer among children and young adults under 20, leukemia, and it just pops up. There's no genetic indication or trace for it. It just out of the blue. One day you're as healthy as you can be. The next day, something's not right. It goes on for week, you go get checked, and bam! It's heart stopping."
"I just heard that Donald Trump was driving around, folks, and listening to the program. He has sent in $25,000 to the leukemia society Cure-A-Thon. Thank you, Mr. Trump."
"I always knew I was gonna be top dog, but not for 25 years."
"I've never heard from the Stick-to-the-Issues Crowd on our leukemia radiothon days. Everybody's there. It really is great."