RUSH: So I'm looking at the audio sound bite roster and I'm not gonna get to 'em right now, maybe later. There are other things I want to get to. The first three are just filled with everybody in the Drive-By Media livid with me that I have not joined the crowd and praised CBS' choice of Colbert to replace Letterman. I think I might be the only person in public not to sign on to this. I mean, what a lesson here. You conform or else. You conform or you are an enemy of the state. If you don't conform, if you don't think exactly the way we do, and if you don't think exactly the way we want you to, we're coming for you.
What does it matter? What is it about the choice of anybody to host a late night TV show that is a litmus test for anything? But it is. It is obviously a litmus test that I, ladies and gentlemen, failed. It isn't any big deal because I don't really care one way or the other. My only point is the fact that every one of these people in the media are all saying the same thing, using the same words, the same opinions. What does it make them but robots?
The last thing they are is individuals. I mean, they're all falling over themselves, they're all falling over each other to top each other in coming up with words of praise and insight and compliments. And all I'm saying is that this choice says some things. It clearly indicates that the people that making this decision have chosen to write off a portion of the country. That they don't care whether a portion of the country watches or not. That we've got a new definition of what's funny. We have a new definition of what's comedy. And that's fine, because as the left loves to say, it's a changing world and things adapt, things change, people adapt.
You know, I'm supposed to sit here and praise the guy who said the Taliban has a better record with women than I do? I'm supposed to praise that? I'm supposed to be bigger than that and say, "Oh, man, what talent." What kind of talent does it take to say that?
Anyway, I think it's funny, and Dick Cavett -- I didn't know Dick Cavett was still breathing. I didn't know Dick Cavett was on the sunshine side of the dirt. (interruption) Well, that's what we say on the golf course. When we're out playing golf and we're having a lousy round, the joke is, "Well, at least we're on the right side of the dirt." You know, it's how you mollify yourself. I didn't know Dick Cavett was on the sunshine side of the dirt. I really didn't.
Dick Cavett's out there -- hell you may as well grab it since I've talked about it now. Grab sound bite number three. Reliable Sources on CNN took two minutes out from reporting that nothing's been found since April 8th on the missing Malaysian airline.
RUSH: Dick Cavett is on Reliable Sources, CNN. Brian Stelter is interviewing him about the CBS hiring of Stephen Colbert and he said, "What do you think Colbert should be most concerned about," Dick? You have so much experience at this. "You saw a lot of conservatives critiquing him this week. Rush Limbaugh said CBS lost the heartland with this pick. Does Colbert have to be concerned with that?"
CAVETT: That was the comment from the wasteland of the country -- waistline, sorry. Can I do that joke again? (laughter) What Rush Limbaugh says is about as far away from anything I would be interested in as anything I can imagine unless it were Dick Cheney.
RUSH: I am honored to be in that company. Dick Cavett, thankfully, fortunately still on the sunshine side of the dirt, lumps me with Dick Cheney in terms of people he could be less concerned with what we say. And how about that joke? You know, the comment from the waisteland -- oh, waistline, sorry. Hey, Dick, that's easy, isn't it? Those kinds of jokes are really, really easy.
RUSH: And greetings to you, my friends. El Rushbo, with half my brain tied behind my back just to make it fair.
Public pressure is being brought to bear. I checked the e-mail: "Come on, Rush, let's hear the sound bites on this Colbert guy." Okay. All right. There are just two of 'em since I got Dick Cavett out of the way. First up is a montage from Friday and Saturday from infobabes and reporters from NBC, CBS, The Daily Beast, and CNN. That pretty much sums it up. It's about 25 seconds and listen to this.
JERRY PENACOLI: Right-wing loudmouth Rush Limbaugh firing the first shot.
MICHEAL YO: CBS' not so conservative move that has Mr. Rush Limbaugh seeing red.
KIT HOOVER: Not everyone thinks faux conservative Colbert is the right choice. By everyone, by that I mean conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh.
KELI GOFF: Well, I get why some on the right like Rush Limbaugh are at least pretending that they're upset, because I actually think that for him it's red meat.
MICHEAL SMERCONISH: Polarizing voices in the media, including Rush Limbaugh.
RUSH: Yeah, see, I'm the polarizing voice here, see? Why? 'Cause I don't conform. Hundreds, if not thousands of people in the media have all praised the choice. I'm the one person, and I'm polarizing. I'm the nonconformist. This, by the way, folks, is why I never would have succeeded in a corporate environment. And this is why I never follow the conventional wisdom, because there is no thinking involved. This is just sheeple, mind-numbed robots doing and thinking what they think they should do and think in order to, what? Be accepted, included in what they think is the dominant clique of whatever network peer group they pretend to be a part of.
You notice here such things as: "Not everyone thinks faux conservative Colbert is the right choice. And by everyone, I mean conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh." It was Keli Goff, by the way, where is she? Keli Goff is the Daily Beast. She's the one who says: He's just pretending to be upset because this is red meat for his audience. He's just pretending.
So, of course, now not only am I not a conformist, I'm a liar. You know, the thing is, I must have spent maybe what, two minutes on this? No, I wasn't mad or upset 'cause I don't care. I'm sitting here, I'm talking about something else, and Snerdley shouts, "What do you think of this?" I said, "What do you mean? I don't care." He says, "Okay, okay." And I'll tell you what it means. We're redefining comedy. They've just told half the country to go to hell. They don't care about 'em, blah, blah, blah. I took about two minutes to go through it. And, man, those two minutes, it must have been a commencement speech that they all heard, for all the importance they're attaching to it.
Next up is somebody I think disagreeing that it's faux outrage. You know, Keli Goff said (paraphrasing), "He's just making it up. He doesn't really mean he's opposed it." And Brian Stelter said, "Keli, do you get why some on the right like Rush Limbaugh this week were offended by the hiring of Colbert?" I'm not offended by it, folks, they can do what they want to do. Anyway, here's the remaining bite.
GOFF: Well, I get why some people on the right, like Rush Limbaugh, are at least pretending they're upset, because I actually think for him, it's red meat. I think that for someone like Rush Limbaugh faux outrage is what motivates their audience and what gets them viewers. So, I get why they're at least pretending to make hay out of this.
RUSH: Okay. So she expands on the notion that my outrage is faux, meaning not real. That's f-a-u-x, for those of you in Rio Linda, faux outrage means fake, supposed. So what she actually believes is that I do the exact opposite of what I do. She thinks I just come here and say outrageous things just to get you all fired up. And this is, I think, a great example of how these people in the media totally don't get, totally misunderstand this show, the relationship I have with you, the audience of this show, and why this show's a success. And in the process we learn a little bit about how they operate. They might actually be the ones that engage in saying things they don't believe just to get people ticked off.
But here's my point about this. Colbert success, fame, what have you, was established as a character mocking middle America. Middle-right politics was the target of his humor. He made conservatives look like buffoons and idiots, which is why he's so beloved and popular with everybody. His comedy was 100% politicized. They're making a big deal, the New York Times has a story today: Well, you know, he never once mentioned Democrats. He never once openly endorsed a Democrat or liberal position.
He didn't have to, for crying out loud! This is the point. He didn't have to. He was making it clear. He's making fun of, he assumes this character of dopey, offensive, idiotic, arrogant, you name it, conservative. And, in doing that, he launches assaults and attacks on everything that center-right people believe. That was his schtick. He became famous for mocking more than half the adults in this country. That's fine. That's what he does. It's inarguable, though, and CBS picked somebody that is a partisan political comedian, and what's the first thing they did? "He's not gonna be that guy." If you'll notice. "Oh, no, no. He's not gonna be that guy. He's gonna be somebody entirely different. He's gonna be a Colbert you've never seen. That was an act. That was in character. He's not gonna do that."
Really? We'll have to wait and see. I don't know how -- (interruption) Well, yeah, they claim they know who the real Colbert is. We don't. We'll just have to wait and see. But my point is, I don't know how much of this has really been an act in the first place. Anyway, the fun point here, folks, is just look at 99.9% of everybody anywhere, "Right on, right on, right on." There's no independence of thought anywhere in the dominant media culture. All they're doing is trying to out-accolade each other and to have one voice come along that doesn't sign on and all of a sudden you've got a major enemy of the state that you have to deal with, and that is me.