"We're straying further and further from reality, and we're being consumed by what isn't real. We're being consumed by what we're told is important, what we're told is real. And substance -- reality -- is falling by the wayside each and every day."
"Comedians are now the twenty-first century journalists for the far left. Comedians are gradually replacing the New York Times, the Washington Post, CBS, NBC, PBS, ABC, CNN, as the arbiters of when Democrats can be held accountable and when they can't be."
"The main point about Benghazi is that the rioting in Cairo earlier in the day, before Benghazi, had nothing to do with the video. The Obama Regime says it did."
"Media isn't what you think it is anymore. Be it news media, be it entertainment media, be it pop culture media, the supposed hippest and most popular likely isn't the most watched or the most listened to. In fact, it's not even close anymore. And more and more of media is becoming state-controlled. Or at least more and more media is aligning itself with the state, with the government."
"People have asked me, 'If nobody's watching CNN, how does it stay on the air?' The answer is CNN and the people that run it are considered heroes. They're promoting the cause of liberalism, Big Government socialism. They're trashing Republicans every day."
"You want to know when the Drive-Bys are gonna harp on Obama, pay attention to the comedians. When they do it's a signal to the Drive-Bys that it's okay to. It's very pathetic, and it's how you end up with low-information voters who don't know what the hell's going on. It's how you end up with Millennials down on the country, down on themselves, rather than on the people responsible for the mess that we live in and that's the Democrat Party."
"We're not allowed to be hip and cool here. We have to exist in the real world. We have to have ratings, and we have to sell advertising that has to work. If we don't, then nobody's gonna keep us on with no evidence here. It isn't gonna happen."
"Jay Carney is continuing to lie, and he's not very good at it, which distinguishes him from other White House press secretaries. They're normally good at lying for liars. He's not."
"Rather than get somebody in there that could attract an audience, NBC wants to stick with David Gregory, who they think has a psychological disorder and needs some help. Maybe he's got a concussion."
"Snerdley continues to marvel at my instincts. Even after 25 years, they're still dazzled in there on the other side of the glass. He just admitted it."
"The staff is eager to prove me wrong. And, yes, I still face that, even after 25 years of incontrovertible evidence that my instincts are right."
"We either have kids eat chicken all the way to the bone and that makes 'em twice as aggressive as other kids. Or we give 'em a knife and fork which means they've got a knife and could attack their parents at any moment if their parents don't let 'em watch The Daily Show."
"Smart TVs, I don't want a TV to be smart. I want to be the smart guy operating the TV."