"I don't see the left collapsing. I see them living. I see liberalism expanding. I see it growing. I see it dominating more and more of our culture."
"I was able to play 'Name That Tune' for the first time in 13 years on Friday night. Normally the only music I could listen to was that which I had heard before I went deaf, and even then I had to know what it was."
"I mean, if the objective is to get the girls back, getting behind a hashtag campaign on Twitter isn't gonna do it, and holding up a picture all of hashtag, wherever you are, in the White House, on the battlefield in Afghanistan, I don't care where you are, it isn't gonna matter a hill of beans. But it's sure gonna send a message that you care to the pop culture media and its customers, the low-information voter."
"CNN is gonna interrupt coverage of the Malaysian jet for their full-fledged interview with Donald Sterling."
"This is one of the most amazing things. You and I could together contrive a full-fledged prank or conspiracy involving the media and pull it off, and they would never know that they've been punked because they don't listen to the program."
"These phonies on the left get behind their Twitter hashtag campaign and they get credit for caring."
"Boko Haram attacked a village, killed people, and kidnapped kids over the weekend! Maybe Boko Haram isn't on Twitter. Maybe that's why it hasn't worked. Maybe if Boko Haram was on Twitter and saw the hashtag campaign, maybe they'd be very scared, and maybe they would have given the girls back by now."
"Where would the media be without me every day saying what I think? I'm all over media just simply uttering a contrary point of view to the conventional wisdom media soap opera every day."
"I'm happy to be a contrarian. I happen to know that what we do here is relentlessly pursue the truth and stay focused on the substance of things rather than the surface."
"If liberalism is losing, like some people believe, where does the power come from to do away with Donald Sterling? Where does the power come from to get rid of Condi Rice at Rutgers, if liberals are losing? Where does the power come from to get rid of Dr. Benjamin Carson, commencement speaker at Johns Hopkins of all places, the medical school graduating class?"
"I'm thinking of some of the great hashtag campaigns of the past. Imagine if Twitter had been around during the Civil War. Can you imagine Abe Lincoln from the White House, #FreeTheSlaves. How about McKinley? #SpainOutOfCuba. How about Reagan? #TearDownThisWall. How about George H. W. Bush? #GetOutOfKuwait. I don't even know what Clinton's hashtag would be."
"Ann Curry broke her ankle while hiking, and was stranded out there in the woods. Some Boy Scouts from New Jersey found her and rescued her. How embarrassing must that have been, if you're a liberal, to be brought out of a forest by the Boy Scouts!"