"How can the Smartest Woman in the World say such dumb things consistently?"
"The next World Cup game for the USA is Thursday at noon versus Germany. Given our track record against Germany in world wars, I'm not ruling this out. You never know."
"I am probably the most observant person that you have heard of or, in case you know me, that you know. My observational skills combined with my memory always surprise people."
"I noticed early on, after Bill and Hillary left the White House, how soon and how often they began discussing their new wealth. We made note of it."
"I haven't watched a lot of soccer on TV because I've always found it to be slow, monotonous, boring, low scoring, no drama, plus it just makes me tired."
"Did you hear that John Kerry (who, by the way, served in Vietnam) is in Iraq, and he's ripping them for losing control of their border? Can you believe that?"
"I know it's gonna surprise a lot of people. I actually watched the US-Portugal game in the World Cup last night."
"You people in this audience are smart. You're critical, independent thinkers. You're not mind-numbed robots."
"$50 million/$100 million, in the Clinton's world, isn't a lot of money. Not among the people that they hold dear. They know multibillionaires. They fly around gratis on their friends' private Boeing 757s. The Clintons are so cheap, they won't spend their own money on anything, not even to charter a Piper Cub to get from Chappaqua to Washington."
""The White House brings in an actress from Mad Men to talk about how bad it was for women in the sixties. Why not go get one who really lived that period and can testify to it?"
"Hillary just won't give up this idea that her family is poor and average and middle class. In her world, $50 million is peanuts, and they pay ordinary income tax. 'We're not well off.' She has no idea."
"Can you imagine if every morning when we arrive there's a packet from the Republicans in Washington, and it contains whatever agenda items, and they want my sign-off or approval on? That would be pretty cool if that were the case. There'd be a lot of progress up there."
"On C-SPAN today, I, ladies and gentlemen, was essentially blamed for the partisan divide, the anger, the lack of people being nice, whatever. It's all my fault."
"It would be pretty cool if the Republicans ran everything by me before they did anything. Can you imagine? Every morning when we arrive there's a packet from the Republicans in Washington, and it contains whatever agenda items, and they want my sign-off or approval on. That would be pretty cool if that were the case. There'd be a lot of progress up there. I can only dream."
"The Clintons are such phonies. They're just such phonies, and they get away with it because they are perceived to have really good intentions. They just care so much about people."
“President Obama has been president for almost six years and all he's done is stand up every day and complain about another American problem. He's president and yet he acts like he's campaigning every day, which is the key to the Limbaugh Theorem, I know. But at some point don't you do something about it? Six years. And every day he stands up complaining about something that's wrong in this country.”