"I think of myself as one of the most fortunate people in this country, doing what I was born to do each and every day. It's like they always say, you'll never work a day in your life if you do what you love. And I count my lucky stars I was able to find that early on even though about a million people didn't think I was good enough at it."
"October 2002, Barack Obama, B. Hussein O., makes a speech, accuses George W. Bush of wanting to invade Iraq to distract us from a bad economy."
"I think this Redskins thing, more than anything, is a bunch of leftists demonstrating they have the ability to categorize some owner as an absolute scumbag, and the name of his team is a rabid insult, and they're gonna show everybody they've got the power to change that name."
"I've been noting lately how crazy everything is, how upside down, nothing makes sense, it's all surreal. What's next? Is Obama gonna start talking about the need to bomb Iraq? Oh, wait."
"Politics is how we try to manage our affairs, but victory in politics is how you solve problems. Not compromise in politics. Politics by itself doesn't solve anything. Victory in politics is what fixes things."
"In addition to saying that politics is not how we solve our problems, victory in politics is how we solve them. I would go further. Our problem is not that there is too much conflict in Washington. Our problem is there isn't enough."
"Victory and defeat are the way of the world. Competition's the way of the world. You can't weed it out of the human body. You cannot breed it out of the human mind. You can beat it and suppress it and overpower it with thugish statism and so forth, but the actual spirit, it takes a lot of effort to quash that."
"I'm sure you all would be the first to admit that you don't have the amount of talent that I do."
"Gridlock is not when the parties can't get along. Gridlock is when the Democrats are unable to advance their agenda. They just call it gridlock so they can gin up public support against gridlock. What is the solution to gridlock always? The Republicans have to cave, right?"
"When there is gridlock going on, there aren't any new laws passed. We got plenty of laws, folks. There are already plenty of immigration laws, for example. We just need to start enforcing them again. We don't need anymore restrictions on movement or liberty or freedom. We have plenty of that."
"Think of how bad things must be for Obama if he thinks his best PR move at this point is to ratchet up the war in Iraq. Can you imagine how bad things must be?"
"People look at politics as solving problems, and that's not what solves problems. Victory in politics solves problems. Politics does not involve fixing things by sitting down and agreeing and compromising on a mutually agreed purpose because that common ground is more and more unattainable because it doesn't exist."
"Look, it's Open Line Friday, folks, and even I need a break from the deadweight serious stuff every day. If I want to talk about a tick that turns people into vegetarians, I promise it won't take long."
"Would it be too cynical to suggest that Obama might be bombing Iraq to distract us from his numerous problems?"
"Michelle Obama is political and the politics of it is not the food. The politics is not vegetarianism. The politics is that it is a way of expanding government control over people's life, of guilt-tripping you, of stigmatizing certain things, of changing, coercing your behavior."
"If there were no political agenda attached to it, the militant vegetarians wouldn't care what you ate. They would be satisfied with their own diet and leave it alone. The fact that they have to push it on you, the fact that they want government power with regulations from the agriculture department to push it on you is all the proof you need that it's political."
"So, veggie revenge. What is it? Well, in Texas, Texas, of all places, they have discovered a bug that can turn you into a vegetarian, or at least make you swear off of red meat."
"If you're a vegetarian and you don't realize there's a political agenda attached to what you're doing, you're being duped."
"This trend of being suspended by ESPN, I started that. I'm the one who makes all these suspensions possible there."