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April 10, 2009 |
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Story #1: UK Mail: When Bill Clinton Chatted Up British Actress
 RUSH: A funny as hell story in the UK Daily Mail today. There is a picture here of a British TV star by the name of Claire Sweeney. She's decked out in a red floor-length gown, obviously standing at some red carpet event or award ceremony or some such thing. She's quite attractive. She's blonde, black roots but blonde. Attractive. Just describing -- in fact, here, for those of you watching at home on the Dittocam, let me show you the picture. There you have it. Okay, that's who we're talking about here. The name is Claire Sweeney. She has revealed that she was chatted up by Bill Clinton at a fancy dress party. She's the former star of a TV show over there called Brookside. She was at a party "hosted by Cliff Richard, when Clinton, who was U.S. President at the time, approached her, dressed as an admiral." Apparently it was a costume party. He was dressed as an admiral.
"Sweeney, who was at the party with her then-boyfriend, told Channel Five's The Wright Stuff: 'Clinton came over and started chatting me up. I thought: "You dirty dog." His bodyguard then came over and said: "Mr. President, we need to go."' However, Clinton managed to shake off his bodyguard and swiftly made a beeline back to Sweeney, who was dressed in a saucy Dangerous Liaisons-style outfit. The 37-year-old asked him: 'You don't want to go, do you? He said "How can you tell?" I said "Because your left leg is dancing."' To which 62-year-old Clinton is alleged to have responded: 'My middle leg will be dancing soon!' Sweeney, who played Roxie Hart in the musical Chicago--" Ha! Well, we can debate whether it's an awful line or a good line, if he indeed said it. Sweeney said, "'I shook his hand but decided I was going home with a clean dress that night!' Clinton, married to Hillary who is now U.S. Secretary of State, was impeached over his fling --" Why they running this story now? The story comes out, this happened when Clinton was president. (impersonating Clinton) "Yeah, Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Yeah, my middle leg is gonna be dancing soon, baby, if you head home with me. Ha-ha-ha."
Story #2: Use TARP! Pirates Demand Just $2 Million for Captain
RUSH: By the way, I am shocked, and I'm a little angry. I just read that the Somali marine organizers, the merchant marine organizers have now placed a bounty on the head, or a price on the head of the captain of the US vessel that they are holding hostage. They are demanding $2 million for the release of Captain Phillips. I'm looking at that and I'm saying, "What is it with you people? You extort $15 million from the Saudis, you get five or six million from the Filipinos, our captain's only worth two?" And, by the way, two million is easy. We got that laying around in the TARP account. Just get hold of Geithner and say, "Hey, look, there's some community organizers from Somalia that are gonna need some infrastructure work. All they want is $2 million, and as an added bonus we get our captain back." So that's the latest on this.
Story #3: Kauai Residents Don't Wait for State to Repair Road
RUSH: CNN is reporting about what happened on the Hawaiian island of Kauai: "Their livelihood was being threatened, and they were tired of waiting for government help, so business owners and residents on Hawaii's Kauai island pulled together and completed a $4 million repair job to a state park -- for free. Polihale State Park has been closed since severe flooding destroyed an access road to the park and damaged facilities in December. The state Department of Land and Natural Resources had estimated that the damage would cost $4 million to fix, money the agency doesn't have, according to a news release from department Chairwoman Laura Thielen. 'It would not have been open this summer, and it probably wouldn't be open next summer,' said Bruce Pleas, a local surfer who helped organize the volunteers. 'They said it would probably take two years. And with the way they are cutting funds, we felt like they'd never get the money to fix it.' And if the repairs weren't made, some business owners faced the possibility of having to shut down.
"Ivan Slack, co-owner of Napali Kayak, said his company relies solely on revenue from kayak tours and needs the state park to be open to operate. The company jumped in and donated resources because it knew that without the repairs, Napali Kayak would be in financial trouble. 'If the park is not open, it would be extreme for us, to say the least,' he said. 'Bankruptcy would be imminent. How many years can you be expected to continue operating, owning 15-passenger vans, $2 million in insurance and a staff? For us, it was crucial, and our survival was dependent on it. That park is the key to the sheer survival of the business.' So Slack, other business owners and residents made the decision not to sit on their hands and wait for state money that many expected would never come. Instead, they pulled together machinery and manpower and hit the ground running March 23. And after only eight days, all of the repairs were done, Pleas said. It was a shockingly quick fix to a problem that may have taken much longer if they waited for state money to funnel in."
Not just state money, state workers. Two years to complete the project, the state said, whatever it was, and four million bucks. And these people did it in eight days! Ivan Slack said, "'We can wait around for the state or federal government to make this move, or we can go out and do our part. Just like everyone's sitting around waiting for a stimulus check, we were waiting for this but decided we couldn't wait anymore.' ... Now, because of their hard work, volunteers hope they'll be ready to send that positive message -- right in time for the tourist season." Now, I love this story. Let me recap what this is. It shows us we do not need the government for much of anything. The state Department of Land and Natural Resources in Hawaii, the government, said that it would cost four million to fix damages to an access road to this park on Kauai after a flood damaged it. They said it would take two years and four million to fix it, and that was if, in these economic times, there was money in the budget to do so. So these people who depend on this park for their business and their recreation, decided not to sit around and wait for the government to do something. They came together.
The community came together. They did the repairs themselves. It took only eight days to finish all the repairs, compared to two years. It did not cost the taxpayers a dime. Anybody want to say, "Yes, we can"? Now, this illustrates many things, not just the fact that people can get off their butts and do things themselves. It illustrates the absolute screeching halt on progress that is represented by government. Four years and two million bucks, and these people found a way to do this with no charge to the taxpayers. It was important to them, their business derives from this. They did it in eight days. Eight days! Like I say, I can't believe CNN ran this story. Eight days they got this done. Now that the story has gone public, I hope that the residents of Kauai who participated in this effort are prepared for the fact that some other government agency is going to come out and inspect this, may come out and inspect your work and find that it doesn't meet their standards. You don't embarrass the government this way. You just don't do it. Eight days instead of two years and $2 million to fix a park and an access road.
I just love stories like this where people roll up their sleeves and do it themselves, rather than sitting around waiting. This is the kind of spirit that built the country, and in this case people just got fed up with waiting, and they got fed up with the bureaucracy. There was no sense of urgency anywhere to get this done, by a government that is existing primarily to serve the interests of the people. They were not interested in that at all. It's a great illustration of just how bloated and out of hand things have gotten at all levels of government.
Story #4: Mrs. Clinton Admits She's Clueless on Iran's Nukes
RUSH: U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said on Thursday she did not see Iran's latest statements about its nuclear program as a rebuff to U.S. overtures to engage Tehran. The top U.S. diplomat also voiced skepticism about Iran's new claims that it had made major progress in its nuclear program and tested more advanced equipment for enriching uranium." And then she said, "We don't know what to believe about the Iranian program. We've heard many different assessments and claims over a number of years." You know, they're out there, they're thinking so hard on this, they're thinking so hard on the Somali merchant organizers, the marine organizers, they're thinking so hard about Iran, they're thinking so hard about North Korea, but they have no idea, "We don't know what to believe." How about believing Ahmadinejad? That's the path of least resistance, Mrs. Clinton, believe what the lunatic says. If he's lying, it's a bonus. If he's not, and we're not prepared for it, we're cooked.
Story #5: Feminist Nightmare: Boob Jobs Help Female Lawyers
RUSH: This is a strange piece, but nevertheless, this piece, if it gets wide distribution, will set feminism back 50 years. It's a story from a website called BitterLawyer.com: "Law professors won’t tell their female students this, but one method some women use to get ahead in the corporate world has nothing to do with grades, professionalism, or hard work. Just fake boobs. In a recent Bitter Lawyer poll, 58 percent of those asked said that implants could only help a woman's career, the remainder of respondents were split on the matter. Just over 23 percent of those polled said such cosmetic changes were 'irrelevant.' In this cramped job market, women boosting their looks to compete is now a trend. Looks play a role. According to the American Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, there were about 355,000 breast augmentations performed in the United States last year. A significant percentage of these patients were, in fact, female lawyers -- or at least that's what the plastic surgeons we consulted told us. While no doctor would identify their patients by name, they all confirmed 'a decent percentage' of their clients were lawyers.
"Professor Laura Triplett, who teaches courses on the social implications of appearance at California State University, Fullerton --" wait a second now. This is university, California State University, and they have an expert, a professor who teaches courses on the social implications of appearance. That is a course for which you can get credit. Anyway, Laura Triplett, the professor here, "says an attorney with implants will see a reaction from their employers, and that reaction is likely to be positive, though not necessarily overt. 'Women who have male employers are going to experience a far more positive impact from having breast implants in comparison to women who have female employers.' ... It all comes down to improved self-esteem, according to plastic surgeon Dr. Sharon Giese, who says that professional women tend to go up only by a single cup size, compared to non-professional women, who can be counted on to enhance by two sizes or more. The reason, Giese says, is that one size is enough for most women to achieve an improved sense of self, and that is often what drives their workplace success. In other words, if she feels sexy, she’ll be more confident (in the bedroom and at work), and success will likely follow."
Can I redirect you to feminist truth number 24, Undeniable Truth of Life Number 24, written by me in the mid-eighties: Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society. It's proved practically every day in our modern culture. This is a five-page story at BitterLawyer.com. If you're a woman, you want to be a successful attorney you better go get a boob job before you finish school 'cause in this tight job market it might be the ticket to a job at a law firm. It will enhance your self-esteem, confidence in and out of the bedroom, in the boardroom. |
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Story #6: Journalists Outraged Over LA Times Fake News Story
 RUSH: Newspapers, ladies and gentlemen, print endless phony stories every day. Do we agree? It happens every day. On the front page, ahem, in the B section, in the C section, wherever you go in the newspaper, you can find endless phony stories. There is a controversy over such a story on the front page of today's Los Angeles Times. The Los Angeles Times has sold an ad on the front page of the paper. The ad is for a new NBC television series called Southland, and I think it's about cops. But regardless, the ad is made to look exactly like a news story. It is a huge news story with a photo below the fold on the front page of the Los Angeles Times. NBC paid for it. "As part of the next phase in its extensive marketing campaign for the John Wells-produced drama, NBC has bought a traditional strip advertisement that will run across the bottom of the Times' page one and will feature key art from the show. It will be adjacent to another paid ad unit: an advertorial-type feature story documenting the first day on the job of a fictional Los Angeles Police Department rookie cop."
So an advertisement made to look like a news story runs on the front page of the LA Times. I would dare say that this fake news story, which is an ad, is probably more truthful in its content than a lot of the journalism that appears in the LA Times. That's just me. But of course the holier-than-thou journalists at the LA Times are outraged. "The NBC ad may have provided some quick cash, but it has caused incalculable damage to this institution. This action violates a 128-year pact with our readers that the front page is reserved for the most meaningful stories of the day. Placing a fake news article on A-1 makes a mockery of our integrity and our journalistic standards." Your newspaper is losing business. Your newspaper is losing advertisers, readers, and your newspaper is on the block, those of you that work there. Everybody's talking we need a new model for newspapers. The standard model, what with the Internet and everything else, doesn't work. So okay, sell an ad on the front page and make it look like a news story. "But, Mr. Limbaugh, this is compromising the sacred principles of journalism, which is devoted to who, what, when, where, how and the truth." Well, if you could find that elsewhere in the paper, I could understand the beef.
But the simple fact of the matter is, every time the LA Times or any newspaper runs one of their polls, it's a phony news story. Smack-downs of conservatives, phony news; biased reporting by liberals is phony news; reports on global warming, totally phony. Reports on the economy during the Bush years were totally phony. Iraq stories were totally phony. Stimulus stories are totally phony. Adulation stories on Barack Obama, totally phony. So now you've got a front page advertisement that's made to look like a story, and it's probably pretty accurate about what the TV show is about. There's probably more accuracy in the fake story than there is in your average LA Times front-page story, or any other newspaper. The obituaries are probably the most dependable, honest things in newspapers. But even there the jury is still out. Classified ads, I'd say second. Crossword puzzle, you can pretty much count on that. The sports pages used to be fairly honest. Now the libs have totally taken over the sports pages. That's deteriorating into a touchy-feely section with political overtones in most newspapers as well.
Story #7: Government Nimrods Start to Dump on the Chevy Volt
RUSH: By the way, we've talked about the automobile industry and the bailouts and so forth, and, you know, all of us want the domestic auto business to come back, and I just feel sorry as hell they're in this situation where they have a bunch of nimrods running their business, not knowing the slightest thing. I had a story in the stack that I didn't get to yesterday about the Chevy Volt. They're starting to dump on the Chevy Volt now, it may be too expensive; they may not ever get it done; the government's not really crazy about it. Gee whiz, this is what GM did to try to get on everybody's good side! So, you know, GM, Cadillac, all their brands, they're trying to revive, they're trying to kick start a rally, and they're trying to reinvent the ownership experience when you buy a car from them. They've come up with something called the Total Confidence Plan. It starts with a fully backed, five-year, 100,000-mile power train limited warranty, whichever comes first, and then, of course, OnStar, which is standard on every Cadillac model, and that's safety and security for a full year. (OnStar is incredible, by the way.)
But this is where it gets interesting. If you buy a new Cadillac, they will help protect its retail value at trade-in time, and if you lose your job, like if you're one of the 7,000 getting laid off in New York, Cadillac will make your payments up to $500 a month for up to nine months. So go to CadillacConfidence.com. All details and limitations are there. There's some restrictions. You gotta take delivery of your new car by April 30th. You can a see participating dealer for details, but this is one of the things they're trying, making your payments up to $500 a month for nine months in this economy, trying to kick start the sale of automobiles, just get the process moving of cars hitting the market.
Story #8: WH Staffers Shopping for DC Church for the Obamas
RUSH: I read last night that staff members for President Obama (since Easter is Sunday) are visiting various churches in Washington, trying to find one for President Obama and Michelle (My Belle) -- which is fine. Then I read something -- and maybe I'm just in a depressed mood today, because everything to me is sad -- in the story that made me sad. The story said that the aides scouring for a church have been to four churches. One mixed, one black, and two white churches, and the story said the Obamas may feel pressure to go to a black church, so as not to anger the black community. Now, that made me sad. Why should that matter? Picking a church is going to make somebody mad? What are they going to do? I thought you picked a church for other reasons. I don't know. I guess we haven't made any advances. I mean, if that's the basis on which a church is now going to be chosen for the president of the United States, you may as well call a preacher in and do the service in the East Room like everything else you do at the White House and televise it. Maybe for Obama he can have breakout groups report back on the sermon.
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