| Stack of Stuff Quick Hits Page |
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November 21, 2008 |
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Story #1: Somali Pirates Want Bailout, Bid on Citi
RUSH: Some financial news to kick off the program. The Moody's bond rating service has upgraded the Somali pirates to AAA. The Somali pirates have now applied to become a bank! Ha, ha! Well, no, they want to be able to access the bailout money, the TARP funds. Hee, hee -- I do love it when I make myself laugh. Hank Paulson said that the Somali pirate equity is an investment and will pay off. They're seriously thinking of giving the pirates access to the TARP funds, the bailout money, and also the Somali pirates are negotiating a purchase of Citigroup. Ha, ha, yes! This information from Bloomberg: "The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis known for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a purchase of Citigroup. The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and" -- hee, hee, hee. No, Snerdley, there's nothing hostile about this takeover; along with Prince Alouid Tal bin Alhal Skyhook, their money would be welcome. "The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and their existing cash stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking Saudi oil tankers."
Story #2: Palin Turkey Pardon, Slaughter
 RUSH: This is hilarious. This reminds me of a story that we've discussed previously on this program. It's a story involving Governor Palin in Wasilla, Alaska. "Governor Palin granted the traditional Thanksgiving pardon to a lucky turkey yesterday. However," -- this poor woman cannot buy a break -- "the video that shocked some viewers of her granting the pardon to the turkey showed turkeys en masse being slaughtered right behind her by the turkey farm employee. As she answered questions at Triple D Farm & Hatchery outside Wasilla, cameras from the Anchorage Daily News and others showed the bloody work of an employee slaughtering turkeys behind Sarah Palin as she was granting a pardon to one randomly chosen [idiot] turkey."
Turkeys are among the dumbest birds roaming the earth, and I don't want to hear from turkey farmers about this. Well, they always call to defend the birds when I mention this, but they're dumber than everything else. Well, yes, Snerdley, it's a close contest: turkeys and Obama voters in terms of overall IQ, yes. But this reminds me... You remember after the Exxon Valdez ran aground at Prince William Sound in Alaska? That big Alaskan oil spill up there? It was just tragic. At the same time it was comical to look at people with bottles of Dawn dishwashing detergent and paper towels trying to wipe the oil off the rocks. But they were good people, and they were stewards of the earth, and they really thought they were helping.
Of course there were a couple otters. They caught a couple otters swimming around in all that oil and they were waving their little paws at people: "Oh, it's so cute!" So they salvaged a couple otters and they took 'em on shore, 75 grand or something to clean up two of them, $150,000 or some such thing to clean up two otters. The day came when they were going to reintroduce them to the Prince William Sound environment after it had been cleaned up, mostly by Mother Nature, and they let the kids out of school and they had bands down there and they wheeled these otters down in cages on wagons; and they had this big ceremony applauding themselves for the great work they had done in saving the otters and their shoreline; and they let the otters loose; and the kids are cheering. "Yay, yay, yay, yay!" The otters are swimming out and doing what they do.
You know, people think that they're waving at them as they're on their backs, their little paws up there -- and out of nowhere came an Orca and just swallowed them both, in one bite! The Orca just outta nowhere: bam! A killer whale, and the band stopped playing, and the kids, "What happened, Mommy? Mommy, what happened? What happened?" People were covering their eyes, couldn't bare to see this. A hundred and fifty grand down the drain, and the source for the story was the insurance company that paid for the clean up of the otters. No, they didn't get a pardon. But Sarah Palin pardoning the turkey while a bunch of them are slaughtered behind her and everybody sees it, it just reminded me of the otter story.
Story #3: Elementary School Renamed for Obama
RUSH: "It was only a matter of time. A New York school has been renamed in honor of President-elect Barack Obama. The former Ludlum Elementary School, in Long Island's Hempstead Union Free School District, was renamed at a school board meeting Thursday -- effective immediately," as Barack Obama Elementary School. I'm dead serious. The former Ludlum Elementary School in Long Island -- yeah, this is an AP-Obama story. "Long Island's Hempstead Union Free School District, was renamed at a school board meeting Thursday -- effective immediately. School officials say most of the 440 students there are black or Hispanic, and Obama's victory is a source of great pride." I have a warning. Not only am I not joking, Snerdley, I have a prediction. Pretty soon there will be nothing left named Martin Luther King, Jr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Boulevards all over our country will soon be Barack Obama Avenue. Martin Luther King schools will change to Barack Obama schools. Mark my words. It isn't going to be long before things named after Martin Luther King will be collector's items.
Story #4: Schwarzenegger to Tax Pets, Veterinary Care
RUSH: Guess what Governor Schwarzenegger wants to tax next? I'll tell you, if I'm Gray Davis, I have to be sitting there laughing my rear end off, and wait 'til Bloomberg gets hold of this. Governor Schwarzenegger is pushing for a pet tax, as a way to raise revenues. I kid you not. He wants to tax you for having a pet. He wants to tax you every time you take your pet to the vet. "Veterinarians say they're already seeing a decline in pet visits due of the slumping economy, and worry an added tax will only make things worse," for the California pet community. "Veterinary ophthalmologist Dr. Kristina Burling says she is among the concerned." I once named these people "The Concerned" back in the early nineties. "The Concerned" and she's now among The Concerned, she's a veterinary ophthalmologist. "She says most people don't consider animals a luxury, and instead part of the family. Pet owner Donald Weideman said he absolutely considers his pet Buster part of the family. 'Its definitely going to make us cut back on maybe bringing the animals in as often. And having different procedures done and different animal checkups,' Weideman said. Schwarzenegger said two weeks ago, 'I think that everyone here has gotten a wake up call that this is not just where we can debate something. We are running out of money.'"
Cut something, Arnold! Try reducing state salaries. Try that and see how that goes. "'The pet tax is a perfect example of what not to do,' Roger Niello (R) Sacramento said. Republicans say the state can generate billions of new dollars by selling offshore oil drilling rights, but that idea has little support at the capitol. So for now, the focus is on the pet tax. Veterinarians say the tax would add about 9-percent to the cost of vet care." So a 9% surcharge on whatever your vet bill is. Can you understand how Gray Davis is probably laughing himself silly? He was thrown out of office for stuff that made far more sense than this. I just say, wait 'til Bloomberg hears about this, the esteemed mayor of New York City.
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