"If you want to find out what Obama's next moves are going to be, just keep a sharp eye on Hugo Chavez."

"By a wide margin, the man most Americans view as the leader of American conservatism -- dwarfing the nearest competitor by almost twice -- is me. Nothing against the nearest competitor (I'm happy to be on the team, folks), but I'm the head honcho."

"Harvard's endowment is down almost $2 billion, and Larry Summers is now in charge of our economic recovery. These idiot eggheads end up in charge of things, and the next thing you know, trouble ensues."

"People like you, John, will give up your freedom if it means putting Bush in jail. God save our country from people like you."

"We all know why this global warming stuff is being done: it is a worldwide fleece of money from western nations -- particularly the United States -- being orchestrated by a bunch of far-left, radical hacks who seek to attack individual liberty and freedom and capitalism."

"Liberalism stinks. It's insidious. It's a disease. However, it is curable. This show has been shown to cure liberalism in certain patients, although it takes repeated exposure and, oftentimes, support groups out there."

"Story: 'Somali pirates seized a tanker carrying more than $20 million of crude oil from Saudi Arabia to the United States.' Now, if these little pirates were smart, they would threaten to burn the oil unless the Copenhagen crowd gave them a billion or so bucks."

"We have document after document, research paper after research paper, proving that the earth is not even warming, much less that we have anything to do with it! Sorry. My blood pressure is okay, folks. I just don't suffer fools well."

"The earth warms and the earth cools, and there's not a damn thing we can do about it either way. If we can't fix it, we didn't cause it."

"The people of this country got hoodwinked and bamboozled and elected an international socialist who has no particular love or appreciation for American exceptionalism, and he's marching out there with every weapon at his disposal."