RUSH: The Drive-Bys, folks, are excited because it’s possible that the College of Cardinals might elect an American pope. And that would signify that America is no longer the ruling nation of the world. The reason why — some of you newly arrived low-information people, I realize very few of you admit to being a low-information voter until you stop and think about it, but in one sense you know who you are. There’s no shame in it. Everybody has to start out somewhere. Have you ever wondered why the UN secretary’s never been an American?

Have you wondered why the UN secretary is always a minority of some kind? It’s because the US is this evil, dominating superpower that already runs the world, and it would be an absolute disaster to have another American in charge of a world body. That would just be over the top too much. That means that we could jam freedom down everybody’s throat. That means that we could impose our horrible, ugly, racist, sexist, bigoted homophobic way of life on everybody. But we can’t do that because the powers that be would never put an American in charge.

It’s the same way with a pope. The idea of an American pope would be insulting to the rest of the world because we already run the rest of the world. I mean, this is the thinking. But now somehow it’s leaked out of there that an American pope could be chosen. Timothy Cardinal Dolan of New York, one of the American members of the College of Cardinals, thought to be a possibility. You’ll hear the sound bites coming up. The Drive-Bys are all excited ’cause that means the American nation, the United States, has lost status. No longer a big, mean, dominating superpower, and for that we can thank Barack Obama.

Ah, ah, oh, it’s earlier. I saw black smoke. I thought it was right now, but it’s earlier. You believe that? Videotape of old smoke. Look at how it sucked me in there. I just happened to glance at the TV, “Whoa, black smoke, no pope.” And then I see, “Earlier.” They use chemicals in there. They burn the ballots, is what creates the fire. They burn the ballots, and then they add chemicals to make the smoke black or white, depending on what’s called for. Of course, if it’s white, they have a new Il Papa, and, if it’s black, it means they failed to come to a consensus, which of course is not good.

Consensus, bipartisanship, all of these things that we hope for, that’s what they’re looking for in the next election here of the pope. If it’s blue smoke, that means that they’ve all just tossed their cigars in the fire before they even burn the ballots. So you got a possibility of blue smoke, black smoke, white smoke. The ballots are the energy source. They’re what burn.

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RUSH: Is that it? Is that white or black? We got smoke. We got white smoke? Yes! Because the cheers are occurring in Saint Peter’s Square. So there it is, not even the rain can eliminate the white smoke. So a three-day conclave and the new Vicar of Christ has been chosen by the College of Cardinals of the Catholic Church, right as the third busy broadcast hours begins here on the EIB Network. How about that timing? And we didn’t have to send anybody there to be able to report this news to you.

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RUSH: Eyes are now on the papal balcony outside the apartment where the pope lives in the Vatican. You know, it would be great if it was Cardinal Dolan, Timothy Cardinal Dolan of New York Archdiocese. It would be great. Of course it was being suggested earlier today by the Drive-Bys, and even last night that it could be an American pope because America’s no longer a big country anymore. We no longer push people around, so we could have a pope. The media was excited, ’cause they think an American pope would signal the end of American superpower status. If you don’t believe me, we’ve got a media montage of various media people talking about that very fact from yesterday, last night, and this morning.

JOHN ALLEN: In the old days, the idea used to be you can’t have a pope from the United States ’cause you can’t have a superpower pope. My experience of interviewing Catholic bishops from Africa is that when you say the word “superpower” to them, they don’t think of the United States. They think of China.

THOMAS ROSICA: It’s no longer, “The superpower can’t possibly give us a pope.” I think people are looking to the great countries of Canada, United States.

STEPHEN WHITE: “We don’t want to give the world’s lone superpower the papacy in addition to all the other things it already has control over.” Hearing from the Vatican experts over there right now, that’s much less in play this year.

PEGGY NOONAN: The thing that used to keep an American cardinal from being picked was that America was a superpower. In Europe, in Italy, they don’t see us as quite the superpower we were.

RUSH: How about that?

How about that?

That was Peggy Noonan at the end. The names here are John Allen of CNN, Vatican Spokesman Father Thomas Rosica, Steven White from the Ethics and Public Policy Center, and Peggy Noonan. Those are the voices that you heard. Yeah, they don’t think of America as a superpower. They think of China. Yeah. Europe, Italy, they don’t see us as a superpower. You could have an American pope now ’cause having an American pope, we wouldn’t be controlling everything like we used to. I have to tell you, Obama hears sound bites like that and he says, “Mission accomplished. Mission accomplished.”

Let’s go back to phones. Here is Cameron in Canaan, Connecticut. It’s great to have you on the program. Hi.

CALLER: Hey, Rush. I’m still reeling from Robert from South Lake, Texas. What a great caller.

RUSH: He really was.

CALLER: I’m unfit to bind the boot of Robert from South Lake, Texas. But you’re playing the pope game, which I called on earlier, before the smoke went up, and had the pleasure of thinking about this, and I come up to the conclusion that who we hope is pope would have to be the Canadian, and the Canadian was mentioned in your clip just now, before the Peggy Noonan thing. The reason I would hope that we get the Canadian is because he is conservative, as was Benedict XVI. Now, you may say, “Why does Benedict XVI have to leave office such as no pope has done in over 600 years?” The same forces that pushed him out of the papacy are the same forces that this Canadian pope would face. I’m gonna say his name is Cardinal Marc Ouellet. He would be facing the same secular progressive forces that took Benedict XVI down.

RUSH: Okay. Now, may I stop you there.

CALLER: Please.

RUSH: There are secular progressive forces inside the Vatican who took Benedict out. You sound like you have some knowledge of that. How does that happen? ‘Cause I’d like to try it here in the White House.

CALLER: Well, I didn’t say they were within the Vatican.

RUSH: (stifling laughter)

CALLER: These are the forces that have destroyed my country ’tis of thee, and have now —

RUSH: Okay, my question is: What do they have on Benedict to force him out? I mean, he’s there. He’s pope. There hasn’t been a pope abdicate in 600 years. Somehow what you’re saying is that somebody had to approach him and make him an offer he couldn’t refuse and he has to abdicate.

CALLER: That’s correct.

RUSH: Well, what would that be?

CALLER: It’s done in the Italian fashion. It’s force of arms, Rush. In other words, the powers that be are extraordinarily strong and amoral, beyond your imagination, and they compelled Benedict to step aside. All one has to do is read his encyclicals and you will find a man of genius, a man of faith, a man of information about instructive force.

RUSH: Yeah, forgive me for saying it but who knew? Benedict was not exactly John Paul II. He was not charismatic. People outside and a very select few in the church ever knew what Benedict stood for.

CALLER: Well, those who were informed, such as the faithful and the secular progressives saw him write with brilliance on the destructive forces that are homosexualizing the world. Now, you had a discourse about the fat lesbians, the obese lesbians earlier.

RUSH: Yeah?

CALLER: But when you referred to the other sex of the species, you referred to them as “gay males.”

RUSH: Right?

CALLER: Where there’s a perfectly acceptably… A great man on the radio once told me that words mean things and that words are the bearers of thought, and there’s a word that people avoid these days, and this is the word “homosexual.” Why would you be repeating a phrase about “gay males” and use the word “gay” when you could be using the proper term, “homosexual”?

RUSH: Well, I use both. I was using gay males ’cause it appeared in a headline.

CALLER: You may dismiss it, but I’m a man of words, and I understand.

RUSH: No, no. I’m not dismissing it all. I get your point entirely. Frankly, I am breathing a sigh of relief. I thought you were gonna try to use another word.

CALLER: I wouldn’t do that on the Rush Limbaugh program.

RUSH: I was hoping. I was hoping. But regardless, uh, I’m still fascinated here that somebody could go to Benedict, however it happens, and force him to abdicate. I know who these powerful forces are, by the way, and I know how amoral they are, and I know what their purpose is. It’s not just the church that they are attempting to corrupt.

CALLER: Certainly not. They now corrupt and control everything worth controlling except one institution within based in Irving, Texas, and that is the Boy Scouts of America, and the Boy Scout oath sounds like this: “On my honor I will do my duty to God and my country. I will obey the scout law. I will help other people at all times. I will keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight.”

RUSH: I know.

CALLER: If you think I read that, you got… I got news for you.

RUSH: Those are fighting words to the people you’re talking about.

CALLER: Exactly right.

RUSH: We heard it the other day when we played the sound bite. Sally Quinn and Carl Bernstein were talking about all the priests that he knows, talking about all the gay cardinals that exist and saying, “Until this church gets gay priests and acknowledges it — until it has a gay pope — then they’re gonna lose their relevancy. Unless they get with it on homosexuality,” they both said that. Not me. Sally Quinn and Carl Bernstein in an audio sound bite we had earlier this week. So people know what’s going on. But again, it’s not just the church. But even at that, Cameron, I still… I think if Benedict, and I don’t know what somebody could approach him with or how somebody could approach him, what it is that they could say that would enlighten him. Would it be something like, “Look, pal, if you don’t abdicate, we’re gonna destroy this church, or we’re gonna destroy you. We know things about you.” I’m just fascinated. That hasn’t happened in 600 years.

CALLER: Exactly. And it’s —

RUSH: You’re making it sound like this was a specific pursuit of an agenda oriented group, and now you’re saying that you hope that the very kind of pope that they succeeded in getting rid of will replace him. How does that happen?

CALLER: Well, that can happen if they’re external to the Vatican, as you pointed out. You questioned whether there were any secular progressives inside the curiae, but I will tell you that if Archbishop Dolan or Archbishop O’Malley gets this job, we are toast and the Catholic is toast. Unless they pick a pope like a Marc Ouellet or Marc Ouellet himself, then this church is finished.

RUSH: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. You believe that if they have chosen Archbishop Dolan, the Catholic Church is toast?

CALLER: That’s correct. If they choose anyone except someone with the mind-set of an Ouellet, that church is finished among its parishioners and its supporters, and it’s all about the money.

RUSH: What do you do for a living? What is your curriculum vitae here? Why should we believe and listen to you?

CALLER: I love it when you talk Latin lingo. What I do, Rush, is everything. In other words, what do you need done? And that is what I’ll do.

RUSH: Really?

CALLER: That’s correct.

RUSH: What is it that motivates you vis-a-vis the Catholic Church? What is it you do that has enabled you to acquire the knowledge you profess to have about what’s going on inside the Catholic Church? Who are you, basically? Not by name, but you gotta understand. People listening to you on the radio are asking, “Who is this guy? Some guy calling from, Connecticut, anybody could call and say this.” Is there a reason people ought to take you seriously?

CALLER: Well, my name is Ferris Fluke, and what I am is something that was born of the Catholic Church, raised in the Catholic Church, studied it, understand it, and know its enemies. Like you can read the stitches on a fastball, I know these lesbo-communists and these homo-communists inside and out. I know how they fight, I know how they won the war, and it’s similar to your insight on your topics.

RUSH: So you know these people the way I know liberals?

CALLER: Yes.

RUSH: And whoever these people are, you call ’em “the secular progressives,” but you say they’re not inside the church. Some are, are they not?

CALLER: Certainly. But they may not exert the power, and that’s what this vote will tell. This smoke that came up a while ago — and let me see if I got this right. “Black equals nope and white equals pope,” is that the way it goes?

RUSH: Yeah, well, if you say so.

CALLER: Well, if this comes up the way I hope it is, this church has a future, with a conservative.

RUSH: We’ll see. CNN tells us that the new pope is now getting fitted for his papal robes. Farris, or Cameron, whichever you are, I have to take a break. I’ve gotta run, but I’m a little bit behind here. But I’m glad you called. I appreciate it. And we’ll keep a sharp eye. You have certainly been provocative. We’ll find out (pause) whether or not you know what you’re talking about in due course. I have no doubt.

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RUSH: Folks, I’m getting a lot of e-mails from people: “Did you really mean it or were you kidding when you said you hoped it was Cardinal Dolan that would be the pope? ‘Cause, Rush, this guy, this guy is a huge, huge leftist.” Folks, I was halfway kidding. I was primarily reacting to an interview I saw with Dolan three weeks ago, shortly after Benedict announced he was leaving, and he owned this interview. There was no discussion of church theology or belief, teaching, any of that stuff. I’ve never met him. I’m not Catholic. I didn’t know that he was as big a leftist as I’m being told that he is. So I probably shouldn’ta weighed in on it. So I’ll reserve my comment. We still don’t know who it is. They have a guy who will come out and announce who it is with his earthly name. I remember the last guy came out (doing imitation), “Joseph Ratzinger,” and the crowd went nuts ’cause they knew who that was, obviously, Cardinal Ratzinger. They came out and announced his name as Pope whatever, Pius, John Paul, George, Ringo I, who knows.

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RUSH: Still waiting on the identity of the recently, just now white smoke billowing out of the smokestack of the Vatican, new pope. No idea who it is yet. The Drive-Bys on their way over now to Vatican City to tell us what we all need and want to know. My question is, folks, will the new pope blame Benedict for everything that goes wrong, if it does? If things go wrong, is it all gonna be Benedict’s fault up there at Castel Gandolfo?