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RUSH:  Man, oh, man, ladies and gentlemen, now it is getting good.  It’s getting good everywhere out there.  I have just about laughed myself into paralyses here about 10 minutes ago when Snerdley brought me something that’s in the New York Daily News today that I missed.  It explains why I’m trending at the top of Facebook’s news whatever it is on the lesbian farmer stuff.  (laughing)  I don’t know that I’m gonna be able to explain this to you without cracking up. 

And then, who knew?  (laughing)  

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUAH: But first, remember yesterday I was informed, I found myself again at the top of the — what is it called?  At the top of the Facebook trending, whatever it is, I’m up there at the top, and it’s over the story we had one week ago about the agriculture department making financial grants available to lesbians if they would become farmers. 

Okay, hang on just a second here, folks.  I’ve gotta blow my nose.  I have been in uncontrollable mirth here.  Thank you.  And pardon me for that.  People watching on the Dittocam could see me blow my nose, but they couldn’t hear it.  So I said, “Okay, why now, though?  Why has this taken a week?” 

So Snerdley walks in here today, and he’s carrying a news story that he’s printed out, and he’s holding it so that I can’t miss it.  It’s a New York Daily News story:  “Rush Limbaugh warns ‘Obama regime’ is sending government-paid lesbian farmers to invade red states.”

I looked at that and said, “What in the world is this?”  And Snerdley said, “They are livid.  They are as angry at you as they have ever been over anything.”  I said, “What for?”  He said, “Read it, you’ll see.”  The thing that puzzled me about this was I didn’t make anything up.  I barely even added to it.  I mean, I could have used all kinds of lines about zucchini, but I didn’t.  You know, I tried to keep it all aboveboard talking about lesbian farmers invading red states. 

It was a Washington Free Beacon or Washington Examiner story a week ago yesterday about an event that actually took place in Iowa where the Department of Agriculture is indeed offering grant money to lesbians and others if they’ll go out in rural areas and start farming.  Did the story, been there, done that, moved on.  It shows up number one trending at Facebook, and then I hear late-night comedians are talking about it. Then I see this story, and it’s just hilarious. 

“In his latest crazy on-air rant, conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh accused ‘the Obama Regime’ –” they’ve got that in parentheses, “of trying to unleash on red states a scandalous scourge of lesbian farmers. ‘What they’re trying to do is convince lesbians to become farmers,’ he told listeners. There’s a specific sinister motive to the sapphic shift, Limbaugh claimed: Ruining conservative voting blocs.”

Snerdley, what do you think it is that has ’em so dang mad about this?  Then they quote me on this, and they quote me accurately. “They are trying to bust up one of the last geographically conservative regions in the country; that’s rural America. Rural America happens to be largely conservative. Rural America is made up of self-reliant, rugged individualist types. They happen to be big believers in the Second Amendment.” I said that, they quoted me correctly. 

Then they keep quoting me.  “So here comes the Obama Regime with a bunch of federal money and they’re waving it around, and all you gotta do to get it is be a lesbian and want to be a farmer and they’ll set you up. I’m like you; I never before in my life knew that lesbians wanted to be farmers.”

I suspect what really ticked ’em off was my next line.  Like I said, I could have thrown in things like about zucchini and carrots and any number, but I didn’t.  I kept it aboveboard.  The next line was, “I never knew that lesbians wanted to get behind the horse and the plow and start burrowing.”

That’s probably what ticked ’em off. (laughing) Lesbians wanted to get behind the horse — (laughing) — I even laughed at my own line when I read it.  “‘I never knew it. But apparently enough money [made] it happen, and the objective here is to attack rural states.’ Limbaugh’s atrocious Aug. 17 rant — which just started gaining traction online over a week later — was sparked by the Iowa LGBT Rural Summit. For the Des Moines event, the USDA collaborated with LGBT groups to educate the gay community about a variety of policies, including ‘rural housing loans, community facility grants and bullying,’ according to the event website. The Washington Free Beacon fanned the flames of lunacy with an Aug. 16 article titled ‘Feds Holding Summits for Lesbian Farmers.’ Limbaugh took that and ran with it.” 

There’s nothing that I said that isn’t true.  In fact, they, in the New York Daily News, provide more information about this than I did.  And the information they provide actually crosses T’s, dots I’s and exclamation points the things that I did say about it.  “The all-day summit will teach lesbian and transgender hillbillies how to get subsidies from the government like rural housing loans and ‘community facility grants.”  That’s what the newspaper wrote.  I didn’t say that.  The Washington Free Beacon did. 

“Limbaugh took that and ran with it.”  And they quote me again.  “You sit in there and you laugh, okay, go ahead and laugh at it, but I’m telling you what they’re doing.”  And then they talk about how Twitter heard about it and erupted in anger and outrage and humor, and it shows up number one on the Facebook whatever it is. And then Conan O’Brien, this is last night on his show, audio sound bite number one. I didn’t even know this until today.

O’BRIEN:  Rush Limbaugh said something pretty interesting.  Rush Limbaugh is saying that President Obama is encouraging lesbians to become farmers.  (laughter)  President Obama’s encouraging lesbians to become farmers.  Yeah.  Then someone explained to Rush, that’s just how lesbians dress.  (laughter).

RUSH:  Conan O’Brien is making fun of the lesbos, not me.  His joke he makes fun of the lesbos and makes it look like I’m naive and don’t know how lesbos dress.  But this woman at the Daily News, what’s her name, Keri Blakinger, I mean, the outrage is palpable.  And I’m thinking, you know, if Bill Maher had said exactly what I said, they would be suggesting he should get an Emmy for great humor and comedy and creativity in television or what have you.  When I saw this and I first read it, not knowing it was coming, I was out of control in laughter at so many elements, how angry they are over this, when every aspect of it is true.

Well, well, well, one thing.  The one point that I made that is not in the Free Beacon story is why is the Regime doing this.  The Regime is doing this to invade rural America because it is a conservative outpost.  Now, you can laugh or you can get mad at that, but Obama’s doing the same thing to suburbia, which we have talked about at great length here with housing policies.  And the upshot of that is, if you’re a developer, say Westchester County outside Manhattan, and if you want to build a new housing development, you have to, in order to get permits to build it, you have to build low income, affordable housing as part of the development, or you’re not gonna be permitted. 

And it’s all rooted in the fact that the left is really angry that people who had the ability to, left the cities, went to suburbia, made their own lives, were able to escape whatever they didn’t like about the cities, but the poor had to stay.  Stanley Kurtz has written about this in a number of articles, and I think even a book about one of the great hidden agendas of the Obama administration is the conquering of suburbia because he doesn’t like that what the suburbs really are is people who have fled the cities, and it’s not fair that some have been able to leave the cities while others haven’t.  So this is to make it more easy, or easier for people in the city to actually infiltrate suburbia. 

It’s the same thing going on with the lesbian farmers.  As I say, I could have cracked a lot of jokes that I didn’t crack.  I tried to keep this aboveboard. I tried to keep this respectful. I tried to keep it family oriented. I didn’t go anywhere near the lines I could have.  I could have done it with different words. 

It’s amazing.  There’s no anger at the Washington Free Beacon for doing the story.  And they’re the source.  And in fact the event did happen.  The Regime does want lesbians to become farmers, and they’re paying them to do so.  They’re offering grants.  

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: I don’t think… Including Trump, I don’t think there’s anybody that irritates the left more than I do.  I know how to do it.  I do it even when I’m not trying to do it.  I know how to tweak ’em, I know how to irritate ’em — and it’s fun, and it’s even more fun when it happens and I’m not aware of it.  I think, as I say, I’m even better at that than Trump is.  

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH:  I got some emails that I checked during the break.  “Rush, really, you laugh about it.  Why are they mad at you over this lesbian farmer story?  Why…?” And they are.  If you read this New York Daily News story… I’m sorry, I couldn’t stop laughing.  I know it’s frustrating to listen to somebody laugh as though they’ve lost their composure.  I thought I did a good job of regaining composure in a decent amount of time.  Here’s the real reason they’re mad, folks, and I think this makes the point that I’ve always made.

The reason they’re mad is they think that it is stupid. They think it is — what’s the word? — conspiratorial, kooky, whatever to think that Obama and the Democrats would dangle money in front of lesbians to have ’em become farmers and go to rural areas where mostly conservatives live.  They think that’s the stupidest thing they’ve ever heard, and why do they think that?  Because, well, A they’re leftists and they’re young Millennials, and they’ve had no education.

They’ve had no instruction in ideology; they don’t know what liberalism is.  They don’t know how liberals work.  They haven’t the slightest idea. When somebody like me comes along and makes a statement like I made, “Yep, Obama/USDA is dangling financial grants in front of LGBTs, lesbians included, and encouraging them to take the money and go out and be farmers,” okay, that’s one thing.  But then to tell people why? That’s where they say, “How dare he! He thinks this is just about invading conservative areas?” ‘Cause they have never been instructed, taught, conditioned to understand liberal.

They think they know what conservatism is because it’s bashed all the time, but liberalism is something that they’ve not had any instruction in.  They have no understanding of the politics, of the ideology of liberalism.  So as Millennials who are afraid of controversy and need “safe spaces,” they react in outrage to something that they don’t understand and think that I am some kind of lunatic. When, in fact, if they would listen to me and just take a moment to investigate what I’m saying, they might actually learn something.  

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH:  I got an idea how to soften this whole Obama dangling money to lesbian farmers.  What Trump could do is say he supports it, because we’re gonna need to replace some of the farm workers who are gonna be deported under the Trump immigration policies.  So he could come along and say, “You know, I’ve heard about the administration dangling federal grants to lesbians to become farmers in rural areas, and we’re gonna need replacement workers out there.” It might be a way… He could broaden his base again in ways that would irritate the left. I mean, going after the lesbian and gay and transgender movement? Whoa!  Look at the potential that’s out there, folks.  

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: Now, not to beat a dead horse here.  Maybe that’s a bad choice of words.  This whole business of the Regime sending government aide to lesbian farmers, you would be stunned to know how long this has actually been going on.  The LGBT farm summit in Des Moines was the 14th such summit in the past two years for the US Department of Agricultural. 

Now, on June 2nd it hosted a summit in North Carolina — this all according to BuzzFeed — the campaign started, this whole idea of lesbians and LGBTs being granted agriculture department money to head out there and learn farming and so forth, this all got started back in 2014 with a summit at North Carolina A&T University at the law center there, the LGBTQ law center.  And the goal is to help LGBT people — and lesbians are in that gang — to help ’em sign up for the agriculture department’s programs like food stamps and housing loans, which, quote, “strengthen the daily lives of LGBT rural community members.” 

So this is a two-year plan that we are in the midst of, the agriculture department doing seminars on teaching lesbians and gays and bisexuals how to get food stamps, how to get money to head down to the farm.  And they laugh at this in the Drive-By Media.  They think it’s atrocious, it’s outrageous, it’s demeaning that Limbaugh would even talk about this, but there it is.  

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