{"id":25379,"date":"2007-04-23T01:01:01","date_gmt":"2011-05-19T05:35:42","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2011-05-19T05:35:42","modified_gmt":"2011-05-19T05:35:42","slug":"sheryl_and_laurie_ban_toilet_paper","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rushlimbaugh.com\/daily\/2007\/04\/23\/sheryl_and_laurie_ban_toilet_paper\/","title":{"rendered":"Sheryl And Laurie: Ban Toilet Paper"},"content":{"rendered":"
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RUSH: Folks, we here at the EIB Network are going to get into the ‘toilet paper offset\u2019 business. We\u2019re going to start selling toilet paper credits for any of you idiots that want to follow the advice of Sheryl Crow and use one square of toilet paper per visit to the bathroom. Just like Algore buys carbon credits so he can continue to use as much energy as he wants while you reduce yours, we\u2019ll make it possible so you can go out and use as much toilet paper as you have been or as much as you want just by buying toilet paper credits from us, and this will guarantee something will happen down the line to assuage your guilt. We don\u2019t know what. The only question I have about Sheryl Crow is, ‘What is she going to do about the excrement for brains that she\u2019s got?\u2019 She has two repositories of it there, and toilet paper is only one means of dealing with it. This is just absurd. It\u2019s, frankly, absurd, and these people wonder why Karl Rove has no desire to talk to them. The Smoking Gun has a thing (Drudge has it up on his website) about the demands that Sheryl Crow makes when she heads out on tour. She demands a bunch of buses and tractor-trailer trucks and phone lines and faxes and all kinds of adult beverages and so forth. Once again, I don\u2019t care. They can do what they want, that\u2019s fine with me, but it\u2019s the hypocrisy of all this. <\/p>\n

These people make no reductions in what they do. I want to see them use — well, I don\u2019t want to see, but I want to hear about Sheryl Crow getting by with one square of toilet paper every time she goes in. Isn\u2019t it sick to even think about this? As I say, the excrement for brains that she\u2019s got, that\u2019s going to require a whole ‘nother clean up method, too. I don\u2019t know what she\u2019s using for that now. <\/p>\n

BREAK TRANSCRIPT<\/p>\n

RUSH: We have so much global warming news, two or three different chapters today. Maybe we\u2019ll only get to one of them, but we gotta start with Sheryl Crow, whatever her name is, and Laurie David and the White House Correspondents Dinner on Saturday night. Here\u2019s Paul Shanklin as Algore! <\/p>\n

(Playing of ‘Ball of Fire\u2019 Global Warming Update Theme Song.) <\/p>\n

RUSH: It\u2019s the EIB Network and the Rush Limbaugh program, and this is the global warming update featuring the antics of Sheryl Crow and Laurie David. <\/p>\n

RUSH: (Continued playing of song.) <\/p>\n

RUSH: Let it rip one more time. Algore. <\/p>\n

(Continued playing of song.) <\/p>\n

RUSH: Ball of Fire. <\/p>\n

(Continued playing of song.) <\/p>\n

RUSH: That\u2019s a takeoff on Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash. That\u2019s Paul Shanklin as Algore and Ball of Fire, global warming update, EIB Network. Saturday night at the White House Correspondents Dinner, Karl Rove was sitting near the dais in a table with executives from the New York Times and reporters. They invited Karl Rove as their guest. I never go to this thing anymore because it\u2019s phony. Actually, I\u2019m kind of glad this happened, folks, because it illustrated the true tensions that exist here in this room. The White House Correspondents Dinner is held at the Washington Hilton every year. Three thousand people show up there, and they hate each other. The media hates the president. We all know that. They hate Rove. But, you know, politics is show biz for the ugly. So this is their Academy Awards essentially and they all go make nice for a night or at least they try to, but this year they were unable to pull it off, because they had a couple of amateurs in there, Sheryl Crow and Laurie David, who made a beeline for Rove\u2019s table, which was numbered 92. <\/p>\n

Laurie David said, ‘I am floored by what I just experienced with Karl Rove. I went over to him. I said, ‘I urge you to take a new look at global warming.\u2019 He went zero to a hundred with me. I never had anybody be so rude.” Rove\u2019s version was, ‘She came over to insult me and she succeeded.” Now, who are we going to believe here? Are we going to believe that Rove felt he was insulted or that Laurie David thought, ‘Ah, we were just going over there to be nice telling him he\u2019s gotta look at this in a more serious way\u2019? Things got so hot that Sheryl Crow had to bulge in to diffuse the situation, and she got into it with Rove herself. ”You work for me,\u2019 she told Rove. ‘No,\u2019 was his response, ‘I work for the American people,\u2019 and they came back with, ‘We are the American people.” We have a couple of audio sound bites here. This is from the Sunday morning Today Show, Lester Holt, talking to Sheryl Crow and Laurie David. He said, ‘Last night you had a unique opportunity. You met with Karl Rove. You had a chance to really try and talk to him about global warming. I understand that didn\u2019t go so well.\u2019<\/p>\n

DAVID: We were so excited. I have never, all these years I\u2019ve been working on this issue, had an opportunity to talk to someone directly in the administration. I mean, this was exciting for us, and we walked over to engage him. I mean, the first thing I said, was — I — I — I urge you to maybe take another look at what\u2019s happening with global warming, and he immediately got kind of, you know —<\/p>\n

CROW: Defensive.<\/p>\n

DAVID: — gruff and hostile with us, and it kind of went downhill from there. So it was really just an attempt to engage him to talk directly to the administration, saying, ‘Look, we have to do something about this,\u2019 and he — he wasn\u2019t interested really in talking to us.<\/p>\n

RUSH: Why should he be? (groans) This is the kind of stuff that nobody thinks is going to happen that night. (interruption) Yeah, she\u2019s Laurie David! ‘You\u2019ve gotta talk to me, Mr. Rove! I am Laurie David!\u2019 By the way, I understand she\u2019s very sensitive to criticism, which somebody should pass on to her. Laurie, when you enter the political arena — and that\u2019s what global warming is. It\u2019s a political issue, as evidenced by the fact you went up to Karl Rove, the White House chief political advisor to the president to talk about it, but nevertheless it\u2019s a political issue. When you enter the political arena you\u2019re going to get criticism from people who don\u2019t agree with your side. Well, Sheryl Crow jumped in at that point, after Laurie David said, ‘He wasn\u2019t really interested in talking to us.\u2019<\/p>\n

CROW: We\u2019re very disappointed because really, honestly, this is going to be the most important issue of our lifetime. We need to stop arguing about it. The science is already out there and we need to move forward. It\u2019s irresponsible at this point not to be addressing this, because we have kids out here who are going to be leading this country, and we need to really be addressing this.<\/p>\n

RUSH: What do you mean? We are addressing it! We\u2019ve been addressing it for all my broadcast career! Earth Day this, Earth Day that, global warming here. We\u2019ve been addressing this to the point that people are fed up with it. For years people have been told, ‘Don\u2019t drive that. Don\u2019t turn that on.\u2019 What do you mean we\u2019ve got to address it? Everybody\u2019s getting their dibs in on this, whatever they want to say. But notice, she says, ‘We need to stop arguing about it. The science is already out there.\u2019 It is not out there, Sheryl. You\u2019re being closed-minded on this. You\u2019re not open to any other point of view. Why shouldn\u2019t Rove go to your table and sit down and talk to you about how you\u2019re wrong about this? Where does this presumption of arrogant condescension come from? It comes from being a liberal. The idea that the science is ‘already out there,\u2019 and we need to ‘stop arguing,\u2019 is quintessential liberal. There is no science. There\u2019s ‘consensus,\u2019 and when you have consensus, you can\u2019t have science. Somebody needs to tell these two women this! There\u2019s no science when there\u2019s consensus. <\/p>\n

When you have a huge number of scientists disagree with this, you cannot have science. This is politics. This is religion (and I have more to say about that here in just a second) but also for liberals, ‘There\u2019s no debate. We\u2019re not going to have debate! We\u2019re going to shut it down. There\u2019s no debate on this,\u2019 and she admits it. So Holt says, ‘Well, Laurie, let me ask you, it\u2019s been almost 40 years as we said since Earth Day was conceived. Why does it seem like only now in the last year or two that we have suddenly really started talking about global warming in a big way in this…?\u2019 Lester, this is so frustrating, we\u2019ve been talking about it since the 1970s. Go look at the (I almost uttered a bomb word there) Newsweek and whatever it was, TIME Magazine in the \u201970s, when everybody thought it was global cooling. What do you mean? Go look at Paul Ehrlich\u2019s Population Bomb. What do you mean the last two years? We have been inundated with this for the last 30 years. Anyway, here\u2019s Laurie David\u2019s answer.<\/p>\n

DAVID: The weather is, unfortunately, cooperating with this issue. I mean, every — right now on your news today, another severe weather, um, event, and this is happening every single day. Global warming is extreme weather in both directions, and I think that finally the — the American people are starting to understand that. I mean, they\u2019ve been grossly misinformed on this issue for a long time, so I think finally people are starting to understand what\u2019s happening, and that humans are causing it. It\u2019s happening now, but we can solve it.<\/p>\n

RUSH: So ‘every severe weather event,\u2019 exactly as I have said, every severe weather event is new, and it\u2019s the result of global warming. There isn\u2019t a severe weather event that happened this weekend or last week that has not happened before, countless millions of times. There\u2019s not one. The reason the American people are starting to, quote, unquote, ‘understand\u2019 this is because the little kids are being propagandized with Algore\u2019s stupid movie in schools, and after 30 years of being browbeaten with this stuff, you\u2019re obviously going to make some converts. Thirty years! Of course you\u2019ve all heard about Sheryl Crow saying we need to get down here to just one square of toilet paper per trip to the bathroom. ‘We can make it work,\u2019 she said, ‘We can make it work with only one square per restroom visit except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be a required.\u2019 You want to describe the difference here between a regular restroom visit and a ‘pesky\u2019 one? One square of toilet paper, and these people think they\u2019re in the mainstream and that they are the advanced thinkers among us!<\/p>\n

Sheryl, let me just warn you about something. If you actually try this, you actually go out and use one square, or even just three, for every pesky bathroom visit, the only thing you\u2019re going to be attracting in the next couple days is flies. So what do they want us to do? They want us to ban gas. They want to ban lightbulbs. They want to ban charcoal lighter fluid. They want to ban smoking. They want to ban nuclear energy. They want to ban trans-fat. They want to ban Wal-Mart. They want to ban lights at night. They want to ban air-conditioning during the day. They want to ban fire on a cold night. They want to ban killing animals for food. Now they want to ban toilet paper! Ban, ban, ban! Ban everything! Get rid of everything. We humans, why don\u2019t we ban ourselves? Let\u2019s just commit a mass worldwide suicide, Laurie and Sheryl. One other thing about this before we go to the break. This is a religion to these people, as you can tell. What is happening is — and we\u2019ve been through this constantly over and over and over again and my theory on how this is just a religion, they just have a different god. <\/p>\n

The god is the planet. It\u2019s got every element. It\u2019s got the Garden of Eden. It\u2019s got sin. It\u2019s got salvation. It\u2019s got guilt. It\u2019s got higher taxes. It\u2019s got tithing. It\u2019s got all these things in it. Can you imagine if a famous conservative Christian publicly voiced their religious practices, and told every American they had to adopt them, right now, or we\u2019re going to destroy the planet because the last days are coming, ‘It\u2019s right there in revelation!\u2019 Can you imagine if any Christian minister went out there and talked and talked about particularly the Apocalypse as it is in Revelation on a daily basis with the media hype? Can you imagine? That conservative would be shouted out of the mainstream. Actually, the conservative has been shouted out of the mainstream. But imagine if a Christian talked about Christianity the way these people are talking about their religion, and said, ‘There\u2019s no argument and there\u2019s no debate and you\u2019re going to hell unless you do what I say!\u2019 Can you imagine the outcry? I will wait for the next post in response to me by these two lovely women, Sheryl Crow and Laurie David, where they blog at the Huffing and Puffington Post, because that\u2019s where they respond to me. <\/p>\n

BREAK TRANSCRIPT<\/p>\n

RUSH: I have an idea for Sheryl Crow on this toilet paper business. Replace toilet paper with the New York Times and use as much of it as you want. Get as many copies every day. Fill it up. Laurie David, on your GV (which is a large corporate jet that will fly New York to Tokyo with one giant carbon footprint without stopping for fuel), do the same thing. I have a friend out in Hollywood, and his take on these people is they can\u2019t believe how lucky they\u2019ve gotten, so all of this is their own soul purging. They want to be known for who they are, rather than the characters they play or the performances they do. They want to be known for something other than an actor, actress, producer, or what have you. So they glom onto these leftist issues. Of course all this is true, unless they don\u2019t get the A table at the charity dinner, and then they stay home. They\u2019ve gotta get the A table at the charity dinner where all the flashbulbs are, and if that doesn\u2019t happen then they stay home and they wallow in their misery that they don\u2019t matter and they don\u2019t care and they\u2019re not loved and all this sort of stuff. Now, what are the toilet paper manufacturers going to do here? She\u2019s serious, folks. We sit here and we laugh at it, and it is uproariously funny. But stop and think. Let\u2019s take this down the path. <\/p>\n

Let\u2019s say that some idiot in Congress actually proposes a law that toilet paper, you can only use one square per visit (maybe two or three object to the form of the question ‘pesky visits,\u2019 as Sheryl Crow says), and let\u2019s not even think about who\u2019s going to enforce it. Let\u2019s go further than that. What would the toilet paper manufacturers do? Do you think they\u2019re just going to sit here and be forced to go out of business like the buggy whip industry? Do you think Charmin is going to sit there and put up with this or whoever else makes this stuff? Of course not! You know what they would do? They would still make toilet paper with ‘one square,\u2019 but perforations would be two feet apart. There are countless ways around this kind of na&iuml;vet&eacute;. Or maybe each square would end up becoming a rectangle three feet apart. Each perf\u2019 would be three feet from the next perf\u2019 so when you rip off ‘a square,\u2019 you\u2019re ripping off three feet. You\u2019d have black market toilet paper, oh, yeah, and that would be the really good stuff. The black market toilet paper, that would be the really good stuff. Well, it just would be. But what will happen here, entrepreneurs in the toilet paper business would be out there, they\u2019d figure out the loopholes (no pun intended). They\u2019ll figure out the loopholes and they\u2019ll exploit them to meet the needs of people. The needs of people are what drive all this, not a bunch of religious leftist zealots trying to force a lifestyle they won\u2019t even live on all the rest of us.<\/p>\n

BREAK TRANSCRIPT<\/p>\n

RUSH: All right, let\u2019s cut to the chase on this toilet paper business, shall we? The fact of the matter is that the women we\u2019re talking about here today, Sheryl Crow and Laurie David, no doubt use a bidet. Well, that\u2019s fine. If you have a bidet you can just dry off with a towel. You don\u2019t have to use any toilet paper if you have a bidet. (interruption) Well, not on a bus tour, that\u2019s true. There\u2019s no bidet in the bus. Well, you never know. She may be demanding one be installed in the venues where she\u2019s going to play. You never know. These rock stars demand all kinds of stuff. But not everybody has a bidet and they\u2019re not out there suggesting everybody get a bidet because that\u2019s just another toilet, essentially, using more water. So they\u2019re advocating. You think these women are actually going to use one square of toilet paper, folks? I\u2019ll make this deal. I make this pledge right now on the EIB Network. If it can be proven — and I\u2019m going to have to see it. (Maybe I don\u2019t want to see it, but you\u2019ll know what I mean.) If it can be proven that Algore will only use one sheet of toilet paper, then I, too, will only use one sheet of toilet paper. As I say, I\u2019m going to have to have proof. I have to see it — maybe not see it, but you know what I mean — and of course when Sheryl Crow talks about these ‘pesky visits\u2019 now, who is she talking about? What are these pesky visits to the bathroom? Well, we all know, but two or three? Fine. If it could be shown that Rosie O\u2019Donnell will only use one square of toilet paper, then I\u2019ll join this club, because the dirty little secret is I have a bidet. I have two. I\u2019ve never yet figured out how to use the stupid thing, but I\u2019ve got two of them. (They were put in when I had no choice in the matter.) Normal, Illinois, Chris, welcome to the EIB Network.<\/p>\n

CALLER: Hi, Rush. How you doing? Mega dittos.<\/p>\n

RUSH: I\u2019m fine, thank you. Nice to have you.<\/p>\n

CALLER: I\u2019ll tell you, you are the Maha. You helped me develop so many political arguments for my leftist friends, and you could help me lose weight and probably help my golf swing.<\/p>\n

RUSH: I could do that now!<\/p>\n

CALLER: (laughing)<\/p>\n

RUSH: I think I probably could.<\/p>\n

CALLER: Correct me if I\u2019m wrong, though, isn\u2019t this correspondents dinner, I mean it\u2019s like an unwritten rule that you don\u2019t come in like this.<\/p>\n

RUSH: Yes, it is. It is.<\/p>\n

CALLER: You\u2019re supposed to leave your political agendas kind of at the door.<\/p>\n

RUSH: Well, other than the comedians, who are the entertainers. They can go wherever they want to go. It\u2019s interesting that Bush didn\u2019t do a joke routine this year and Rich Little was the entertainment. He apparently was very down key because of Virginia Tech. So they were all disappointed in there. They wanted a bunch of depravity at this dinner. They didn\u2019t get it, so they had to make it themselves.<\/p>\n

CALLER: Can you imagine somebody like — I just keep thinking like a Charlton Heston went to the gun control people and were saying, you know, you know, ‘Right to bear arms! Right to bear arms,\u2019 they would hang him out to dry. They\u2019d say he doesn\u2019t know the ethics. He doesn\u2019t know the protocol.<\/p>\n

RUSH: No, no, no, Charlton Heston was the president of the NRA. Who do you mean?<\/p>\n

CALLER: That\u2019s what I mean. If he went during a Clinton or —<\/p>\n

RUSH: Oh, oh, oh.<\/p>\n

CALLER: — Carter administration and went to that same dinner, the media would be all over him about breaking the protocol.<\/p>\n

RUSH: No, I… (sigh) Possibly. Possibly. Let me say something about that, because you\u2019re talking basically about boorish behavior, at best — and in other instances, it\u2019s worse. Now, when it comes to the White House Correspondents Dinner, I\u2019ve been to, I think, three of them, and after the third one when Clinton called me a racist because I was defending Janet Reno because she was being attacked by John Conyers, it was not even fun, and it was phony as it could be. As I say, this is an event for politicians. It\u2019s their Hollywood night; it\u2019s their Oscars, and politics is show biz for the ugly. That\u2019s why they have certain Hollywood entertainers show up. The big name this year was that loser from — what is it? — American Idol, Sanjaya, is that his name? Sanjaya, whatever. He was the big draw. But my objection to this is that everybody — well, given the makeup of Washington, over half the people — in that room of 3,000 despise George Bush and yet they\u2019re going to act nice and they\u2019re going to act like all the stuff they\u2019ve said about him over all these years doesn\u2019t matter, then the next day they jump right back in as though the night never happened. So the idea is the White House correspondents get together to honor each other, give out awards to each other and some young budding up-and-coming journalists and so forth, but you\u2019re right. There\u2019s an unwritten rule that the night is phony.<\/p>\n

If it were real, nobody\u2019d get along because the partisan divisions that existed at four o\u2019clock that afternoon would not be put to bed at seven o\u2019clock that night, and the problem with it is when these people act like they can put these things to bed at seven o\u2019clock for five hours, it shows…what? That they\u2019re being phony the rest of the time or they\u2019re being phony for those five hour. Regardless, they\u2019re phonies at some point in their lives, and for me, it\u2019s not a place I want to be. It\u2019s just not my place. I get invited now and then. I was invited by three different groups this year. I just… (sigh) No way. It isn\u2019t fun, plus you gotta wear a tuxedo for that long. I wear a tuxedo to a cigar dinner. It\u2019s all guys. It\u2019s all friends. That\u2019s fine and dandy, but this? It\u2019s a zoo. Now, about your theory about what the media would write, if Charlton Heston went to the White House Correspondents Dinner and charged up to, say, Dee Dee Myers during the dinner and started railing against the White House and gun control, what the media would write. You\u2019re probably right, now that I think about it. They had a great time writing about this Sheryl Crow and Laurie David accosting Karl Rove. However, in all the Virginia Tech discussion last week and the ‘coarsening of the culture\u2019 and how we and my buddies on talk radio are the focus of blame on this now, one of the things I\u2019ve noticed as an observer and as a student — a doctoral student.<\/p>\n

I have a doctorate in studying the media. I\u2019m degreed out the wazoo in this. I have noted over the years when there\u2019s been an MTV awards ceremony, if the emcee is not throwing the F-bomb around every other minute, if there\u2019s no ribald humor, no gutter humor, they write the next day about what a boring show it was. It\u2019s the same thing with the Oscars. Have you noticed when you read reviews of the Oscars, how dull they are said to be? If they\u2019re classy and cultured, if there are no political digs, if it\u2019s just good old-fashioned wholesome entertainment, do you ever notice how dull the Oscars are? So my point is, in this case we\u2019re talking about the entertainment media, you can\u2019t exempt them or leave them out of the equation because they\u2019re out there getting bored when stuff like what happened with Karl Rove and Laurie David doesn\u2019t happen. Now, the stuff with Karl Rove and Laurie David was not anything beyond boorish. It was just bad behavior and so forth. It wasn\u2019t profane or any of that but it did violate this unwritten rule that makes things like this somewhat appropriate. Laurie David, Sheryl Crow, ‘You work for me.\u2019 ‘No, I work for the American people.\u2019 ‘We are the American people.\u2019 Well, Rove probably makes 140. I\u2019m going to guess Rove makes 140, 150. There are 300 million people in this country. So divide 140,000 by 300 million you\u2019ll find out how much of that is being paid by Sheryl Crow, and that\u2019s a good indication of how much or how little Rove needs to listen to her. At any rate, a lot of people probably want to weigh in on this and if I keep going there\u2019s not going to be anything left to say, because once I say it it\u2019s all handled. Here\u2019s Paul in Eau Claire, Wisconsin. It\u2019s nice to have you on the program, sir. It\u2019s nice to talk to you.<\/p>\n

CALLER: Great to talk to you, Rush. It\u2019s just wonderful from beautiful northern Wisconsin here, but, you know, I think the media is getting it all wrong. The real reason Karl Rove didn\u2019t want to talk to Sheryl Crow was because he probably didn\u2019t want to shake her hand because he saw her coming out of the bathroom.<\/p>\n

RUSH: (Laughing.) Everybody wants to get in on the act! I\u2019ve said, folks, and I love you people on the phones, ‘Don\u2019t try this at home.\u2019 The great, like me, make this look easy. What happened was they went up and they grabbed his arm. They went up to him. They didn\u2019t ‘respect his space.\u2019 As good liberals, they violated his space. They went up and grabbed his arm, that\u2019s what I have been told. That\u2019s something you don\u2019t do. Madeleine in Melbourne, Florida. Hello, madam. You\u2019re next. It\u2019s nice to have you. <\/line>CALLER: Yes, sir.<\/line><\/p>\n

RUSH: Yes.<\/p>\n

CALLER: I just wanted to say, I heard this ridiculous mess of the Sheryl Crow nonsense. I pulled up the Drudge Report, and for fun I decided to try this, and it is just physically impossible, and —<\/p>\n

RUSH: Wait, wait, wait, wait! You tried the one square?<\/p>\n

CALLER: Well, not that I want to try it. I pulled one sheet off and I was looking at this — you can\u2019t. It rolls up to the size of a penny. I don\u2019t know what the heck you\u2019re supposed to do. You can\u2019t blow your nose. You can\u2019t do anything with it. This is utter insanity.<\/p>\n

RUSH: Well, now, wait. Did you try the four ply, or were you using the cheaper two-ply from the discount stores?<\/p>\n

CALLER: Oh, no. (laughs) I had the Angel Soft two-ply. So it\u2019s not the Scott one sheeter, so… (laughs)<\/p>\n

RUSH: (laughing) Can you…? But the point is, we\u2019re all laughing about it today, and we all know how utterly ridiculous it is. Do you understand? Do you understand she\u2019s serious?<\/p>\n

CALLER: Yeah. Unfortunately, I do, but I don\u2019t understand why the American people are so gullible and they fall for this. Because she\u2019s a rock star, supposedly? <\/p>\n

RUSH: Wait, wait, wait. What evidence do you have that the American people are actually out there doing this now?<\/p>\n

CALLER: Oh, no, I\u2019m not saying that they\u2019re doing it, but people — like younger people — they listen to whoever\u2019s going to be voting, like in voting things, they\u2019ll get —<\/p>\n

RUSH: This is one of those things where one attempt, I think, might show most people that it\u2019s pointless to pick this up and make it a habit. Here\u2019s the lesson. She\u2019s serious about this. Now, I fully expect, by the way, before the end of the day, ‘We were just joking to make a point,\u2019 is what they\u2019ll say, but they\u2019re serious about it. They\u2019re serious about this. Put this in the hopper with everything else being said about global warming, and I went through the list. Let me get the list. We\u2019ve gotta ban light bulbs! They want us ban light bulbs, ban toilet paper, ban barbecues, ban charcoal briquettes, ban gasoline, ban oil, ban trans-fats, ban smoking. Everything to them is a ban, including this toilet paper business. You\u2019ve gotta throw this in the hopper and you have to put it in context with everything they\u2019re saying and measure it. If they can be this, gee, off the wall or na&iuml;ve — while sounding totally committed and caring and compassionate — what about all the other demands they\u2019re making? And of course in this one instance, ask them, ‘Are you gonna do it? Are you gonna do it?\u2019 You know they\u2019re not. That\u2019s why they made the allowance for the two to three squares for those ‘pesky visits.\u2019<\/p>\n

BREAK TRANSCRIPT<\/p>\n

RUSH: I just got a note from a friend of mine in Palm Springs. He says, ‘You know, this bidet, I didn\u2019t know that was what it was for. I use it as my dog\u2019s drinking fountain.\u2019 I tried that with my cat, Punkin, and it\u2019s not a full stream, so she wouldn\u2019t have anything to do with it. I have another offer to make. Not only will I use only one square of toilet paper if it can be categorically proven to me if Algore and Rosie O\u2019Donnell are using only one, I will not use any toilet paper for a month if the amount that I would use in a month would be accepted by Laurie David and Sheryl Crow and stuffed in their mouths so they couldn\u2019t speak for that month. (tapping desk) Well, I\u2019m a cooperative person. I want to work with these people. We\u2019re trying to find compromise on all these issues, are we not? <\/p>\n

BREAK TRANSCRIPT<\/p>\n

RUSH: Folks, I\u2019m also thinking of offering to underwrite the remaining bus tour of Laurie David and Sheryl Crow if they\u2019ll keep talking about this toilet paper stuff, because I think everybody should hear this. The more people that hear this, the better off we\u2019re all going to be.<\/p>\n

END TRANSCRIPT<\/p>\n

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RUSH: Folks, we here at the EIB Network are going to get into the ‘toilet paper offset\u2019 business. We\u2019re going to start selling toilet paper credits for any of you idiots that want to follow the advice of Sheryl Crow and use one square of toilet paper per visit to the bathroom. Just like Algore […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0},"categories":[],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nSheryl And Laurie: Ban Toilet Paper - The Rush Limbaugh Show<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/admin.rushlimbaugh.com\/daily\/2007\/04\/23\/sheryl_and_laurie_ban_toilet_paper\/\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"Sheryl And Laurie: Ban Toilet Paper - The Rush Limbaugh Show\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"RUSH: Folks, we here at the EIB Network are going to get into the ‘toilet paper offset\u2019 business. 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