RUSH: Yesterday I actually opened the program by asking if anybody had seen Algore or Laurie David conducting a press conference on the first subtropical storm out there, subtropical storm Andrea Mitchell — which, by the way, have you seen the latest forecast track? They’ve got it doing circles. It’s going to come close to making landfall a little south of Jacksonville. Now it’s not going to make landfall and it’s going to turn back out to sea. You watch. The thing is going to head our way before it’s all said and done. You just watch. Regardless, I was prescient once again. Laurie David shows up on PMSNBC this morning. Joe Scarborough is taking his shot at the morning show and Scarborough asking her about the Malibu fires, California fires, and she launched.
DAVID: I mean, do you believe what’s going on in this country weatherwise? I mean, are you guys talking about this? I mean, honestly, let me just ask you this here, okay? When you were growing up, do you remember that ‘severe weather’ was a regular category every night on the evening news? Do you remember that?
RUSH: No. The reason was there was no political agenda behind the weather when we were growing up, Laurie. Now there’s a political agenda driving the weather. It’s called global warming. There are no such things as ‘weather phenomenon.’ It’s a sorry thing that happened in Greensburg, Kansas, but tornadoes happen. They’ve been happening long before we were born, Laurie, before we were kids, and so do hurricanes and they’ve been happening. There’s nothing that happens in weather that’s unique. Nothing that happens in weather that is unprecedented. It’s not possible. This planet has been around too long! How many billions and billions and billions of years have the planet been around? All of a sudden for us, during our lifetimes, all of a sudden things are happening that have never happened before? Oh, my God, and we’re the ones responsible! Oh, my God. We’re ruining the planet. Oh, no. Really? Oh, my God, we gotta do something! We need higher taxes. One square of toilet paper per bathroom visit. Why, we’ve got to change our light bulbs.
It’s absurd. It’s patently absurd.
I’m going to read something to you from our local paper here, the Palm Beach Post. This is about Tropical Storm Andrea Mitchell out there. I want to read the first couple of lines, and see if anything reaches out and grabs you. ‘Three weeks before hurricane guides appear in local grocery stores, subtropical storm Andrea [Mitchell] swirled off the north Florida coast Wednesday, a reminder that Mother Nature is in charge here. The first named May storm in more than a quarter century, Andrea [Mitchell], isn’t expected to strengthen much beyond its current 45-mile-per-hour winds and may not even strike land.’ What stands out at you in that sentence? Dawn, what stands out? No. See, this is how they do it. Dawn’s reaction: ‘It’s not going to strike land.’ No, what stands out is this: ‘The first named May storm in more than a quarter century.’ That means that 25 years ago there was one in May. There was a named storm prior to the June 1st hurricane season, 25 years ago. Twenty-five years ago they were warning us of global cooling, a new ice age. So, yeah, we got this thing out there, and the Laurie Davids of the world hype all over this and claim it’s a result of global warming — and, of course, man’s decadent lifestyle. But there’s nothing happening today in weather that has not happened before countless, countless other times.
More audio sound bites. Katie Couric, by the way, let me tell you what happened on this. Yesterday I also opened the show and I offered — because when I saw that the CBS Evening News with Katie Couric’s ratings are the lowest they’ve been since 1987, 20 years, I offered — myself as exclusive interview subject to Katie and the CBS Evening News. I’d do a live interview, in order to jack the ratings, because I’m Rush Limbaugh: I am ratings. I offered to help. CBS did call. 60 Minutes called. My old buddy from 60 Minutes who produced the first segment, the only one, the first one they did of me way back in the early ’90s, Bob Andersen, called and he said, ‘We’ll be happy to have Katie interview you for 60 Minutes and then run excerpts of that interview on the evening news.’
We smiled. ‘Nice try, Bob. You’re a smart guy, but, no, the deal was I offer myself to Katie for the evening news: one shot, live interview,’ knowing full-well it will never happen, ladies and gentlemen, for a host of reasons, but among the reasons at the top is: Can you imagine if a live interview with me actually did jack the ratings? What would that say? We know that it would. We would make sure that it did, because I am Rush Limbaugh. I am ratings. Anyway, we have a sound bite from Katie on her CBS Evening News last night about all this ‘extreme weather.’
COURIC: Already this month federal disasters have been declared in six states. By the way, don’t think nature has spared the rest of the world. Australia is dealing with its worst drought ever. Italy is also suffering through a drought. Meanwhile, usually dry parts of northern Africa have been hit with deadly rainstorms. And it seems almost biblical that 2007 is the Year of the Locust.
RUSH: Wait, it’s a newscast. How does that get thrown in? And it seems almost biblical? By the way, Katie, your audience doesn’t want to hear references to the Bible. Big no, no, don’t know who put that on the prompter. But somebody should have gotten it off of there. Now we have a montage from MSNBC’s Amy Robach, ABC’s Sam Champion, NBC’s Dawn Fratangelo and Matt Lauer on subtropical storm Andrea Mitchell.
ROBACH: We have a named storm three weeks before the season is even supposed to start.
CHAMPION: Tropical Storm Andrea is three weeks ahead of the hurricane season.
FRATANGELO: She’s called Andrea, arriving a full three weeks before the official start of hurricane season.
LAUER: The first named store is hovering offshore weeks before it should be there. Andrea only the 17th named storm in history to arrive before June 1st.
RUSH: Only the 17th? Only the 17th? Only the 17th? Why, that means there have been 16 named storms before the start of hurricane season before Andrea Mitchell. Well, that indicates some sign of tumult and chaos in the natural order of things out there. Only the 17th time in history. Now, not in history, in recorded history, because until we came along, the earth didn’t know that June 1st was the start of hurricane season. You think Mother Nature knew that June 1st was — do you think that Mother Nature even knows when it’s June? We call it June and we say hurricane season starts on June 1st. Look at Palm Beach. We’ve got turtle season starting on March 1st. They don’t show up until May 1st. You think the turtles know they’re supposed to be here in March because we’ve got a town council making an ordinance saying we gotta turn out the lights? I have an Abyssinian cat. Do you think my cat knows it’s an Abyssinian cat? In fact, do you think my cat even knows it’s a cat? I guarantee you my cat thinks it’s a person. Cats have staff. Dogs have masters. We invent all these terms, so the idea that there have been 17 named storms before hurricane season — did we get hurricane season in the 10 Commandments? Is there some proclamation from some higher power that says June 1st, anything that happens before that, something is wrong. Grow up, folks.
RUSH: This is Rick in Malibu. Nice to have you, sir, and welcome to the EIB Network.
CALLER: Thanks, Rush. Thanks for having me on. I had to call because I started giggling a little bit about all this global warming hysteria. When you played that clip earlier of Laurie David connecting the Los Angeles wildfires, the one in Griffith Park to global warming, when the conventional wisdom and the current theory out here is that the fire was started when a man with a lit cigarette fell asleep in the park. That’s what the news is out here. So unless global warming caused that man to fall asleep, I don’t really see the connection, do you?
RUSH: No, no, no, no. That’s not what they’ll say. It might have been a cigarette. It might have been a bum or anybody else throwing a cigarette, but if it weren’t for global warming causing less rainfall than normal, the Griffith Park wouldn’t have gone up in flames the way it did! That’s what they’ll say. They’ve got this down pat. But all they’re doing is playing on the fact that, okay, we’ve got fires in Georgia. In fact, I have to tell you. We had fires in Florida here. It’s bad. Alligator Alley, which connects Fort Lauderdale to Naples, has been shut down, parts of it have been. I told you yesterday that I walked outside and the sky is totally gray, looks overcast, but there’s not a cloud nearby. It’s the smoke from all the fires. You can smell it a little bit out there. The kids are out playing in the schoolyard, being highly irresponsible. (I’m joking about this.) It’s as though all these kind of fires — you heard Katie Couric — biblical proportions, 2007, the Year of the Locust! It’s preposterous. All of this is preposterous. Global warming is responsible for all the fires!
When did we start naming hurricanes? I happen to know. Do any of you know when we started naming hurricanes? It was 1951, which happens to be the year that I was born. 1951. What were hurricanes before that? What did we call them? By the way, how do we know this is only the 17th storm to precede hurricane season because we’re only able to see these things around the world with satellites, and how long have we had satellites? Not much before 1951. How do we even know? All of this is just… I don’t know how to describe it, but it really frightens me for the overall intelligence of the people of this country. I’m starting to agree with those of you that have called me and said we’ve got way too many idiots in this country. You can see them easily by how many of them just suck up all the BS from the left.
RUSH: Welcome back. Rush Limbaugh, talent on loan from God. Johnny in El Paso. Thanks for calling and welcome to the EIB Network, sir.
CALLER: Thanks, Rush. Thanks for taking my call. That guy in Griffith Park that burned down the park? If the smoking Nazis had allowed that guy to smoke indoors instead of outdoors, he probably would have just burned his cigarette out in an ashtray. You know, in New Mexico when they had the peak of the forest fire season, it was against the law to smoke outside. You would get a ticket for smoking outdoors.
RUSH: You can’t smoke inside anymore. I don’t know who started this fire out in Griffith Park. The caller said it was a bum. If it was a bum that means the bum didn’t have an indoors to go to. But it is an interesting thought. If the bum had been indoors somewhere and threw the cigarette down, it would just be one house that went up instead of a whole park. Outdoors… I don’t want to call the guy a bum because it would be an unfair characterization. He was an outdoorsman, out there trying to enjoy life, had a little cigarette, flipped it off and bam! We’ve got a fire. It is an interesting thing: the unintended consequences of all this liberal do-gooderism.