Well, in the wake of the New Yorker cartoon, I’ve learned through back-channel sources that Senator Obama is working on a set of guidelines for fellow politicians and members of the Drive-By Media. They’ll be released in two tablets at the DNC convention in Denver. Here’s what they are going to say:
1) I am the Messiah, Lord Obama the most merciful.
2) Thou shalt have no Obama before me– or after me.
3) Thou shalt fashion idols of me for your desk or dashboard, but thou shalt fashion no bobblehead Obamas with large ears. Especially thee, Maureen Dowd.
4) Thou shalt not take the name of Messiah Lord Obama in vain. This includes calling me a liberal, or disparaging my great and mysterious work as a “community organizer.” And thou shalt forever eschew the name that must not be spoken: “Hussein.”
5) Thou shalt not publish any graven illustrations, cartoons, or caricatures of Lord Obama in Muslim attire,or thou shalt be smitten.
6) Thou shalt honor Lord Obama with all thine heart, and embrace change and hope, that thy days may be fruitful upon the earth.
7) Honor Lord Obama’s mysterious mother and father. And his grandma,who out of his great mercy was resurrected after Lord Obama cast her under the bus.
8) Thou shalt not covet Lord Obama’s wife. Especially thee, Bill Clinton.
9) Thou shalt not steal,unless it is taxpayer money for the multitude of programs ordained by Lord Obama.
10) Thou shalt not lie,unless it is about the American military success in Iraq. Orthe strength of the US economy — then feel free.
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