RUSH: Oh, looky here, Port St. Lucie. We have someone from Port St. Lucie, Florida. Heidi, I can’t tell you how excited I am to have you on the program, hello.
CALLER: I’m so excited to talk to you, too, Rush.
RUSH: Thank you.
CALLER: I wanted to paint Rush for President and Sarah Palin for Vice President on the back of my van, but my boyfriend won’t let me. Anyways, what’s Obama going do, chop our heads off if we don’t wear underwear?
RUSH: Well, it’s not an Obama proposal. This is in Brooksville, Florida. Do you know where that is?
CALLER: Yes, my ex-mother-in-law lives there.
RUSH: Does she work for the government there by any chance?
CALLER: No, no, no, no.
RUSH: Okay, then she’s exempt from the mandatory underwear rule.
RUSH: Now, how far is Brooksville from Port St. Lucie?
CALLER: I don’t know. It’s across the state, on the other side of the state.
RUSH: Well, no, Orlando is the middle of the state. It can’t be across the state.
CALLER: Then it’s up north farther.
RUSH: Okay, north of Orlando? I didn’t bother to Google Map it. I thought you would know. All right, well, anyway the city government in Brooksville is requiring all city employees to, A, use deodorant, they didn’t specify antiperspirant or deodorant, they just said deodorant, and that everybody wear underwear, and they can’t wear it outside, the underwear has to be worn under the normal day’s attire.
CALLER: Well, how are they going to enforce that?
RUSH: That’s a very good question, Heidi, I’m really proud of you coming up with that, given that you’re in Port St. Lucie.
CALLER: Wait, wait, wait, hold on. I’m originally from West Palm, born in Palm Beach Gardens, and there’s a lot of very wonderful conservative Republicans in Port St. Lucie.
RUSH: All right. Okay, so you want this audience to know you’re not a native of Port St. Lucie.
CALLER: No, but a Floridian.
RUSH: All right, fine. Okay. So, bottom line is, you asked the same question I asked, which ought to thrill you, and that is, how in the hell are they going to be able to enforce the mandatory underwear rule without having people take their clothes off?
CALLER: Exactly. They can’t.
RUSH: The easiest people to see wearing underwear or not are obese women who wear Spandex. You can see panty lines, but other than that, I don’t know how you do it.
CALLER: I don’t know, either, unless you act like Bill Clinton or whatever.
RUSH: (laughing) Now that’s an idea! Bring Bill Clinton in to sniff around. His nose alone could detect whether or not there’s underwear.
CALLER: Yeah, exactly.
RUSH: You know what? You’re with it.
CALLER: Yeah, we are.
RUSH: You’re with it. All right, look, Heidi, thanks much for the call.
CALLER: You have a great day.
RUSH: You do the same thing. What kind of van do you have, by the way?
CALLER: A Dodge Caravan.
RUSH: Dodge Caravan.
CALLER: I would have an S-350 with six tires, if I could.
CALLER: (laughing) And we’d drill for oil, too, if we could, believe me.
RUSH: I do believe you. You sound like our kind of babe.
CALLER: Yes, thank you.
RUSH: All right, you bet, have a fine day out there.