Rush Limbaugh

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“Obama said, ‘We are God’s partners in matters of life and death.’ That’s audacious even for a guy who’s written two autobiographies by age 48.”

“Here’s how I see this. Obama’s health care plan will be, one, written by a committee whose head says he doesn’t understand it (John Conyers); two, passed by a Congress that has not read it; three, signed by a president who smokes; four, funded by a Treasury chief who didn’t pay his taxes. What could possibly go wrong?”

“We may actually need to amend the Constitution to establish a separation of God and President Obama.”

“What Bill Shatner does on his show is talk to all of his guests about everything except their area of expertise… which, in my case, leaves nothing to discuss — because I’m an expert in everything. Heh-heh.”

“I was tired when I made that Barney Frank comment, but I really can’t use any excuses because I meant to say it! It was a great and funny line!”

“I shouldn’t do this. I really shouldn’t say this. But every time I say to myself, ‘I shouldn’t say this,’ it actually means, ‘Fire both barrels.'”

“Michelle Obama did not have to show up for her hospital job, and so people want to know if my cousin will have to show up for his. Folks, we are Limbaughs. We work. We show up. I am insulted at the question! This is not a patronage job!”

“It’s clear Obama did not have a plan B if his health care plan failed to pass before the summer recess. I mean, he’s basically saying doctors are butchers for money.”

“From Congressional Quarterly: ‘McCain: Maverick no more?’ This is just mind-boggling. This is our former presidential candidate, and it’s a story about how all of the sudden he’s starting to side with Republicans! And he was our nominee! And he wasn’t even good enough for Colin Powell!”

“I go to Martha’s Vineyard sometimes to play golf, and I put chaff dispensers on the airplane in case I get attacked, you know, to distract the missiles.”

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