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Rush’s Morning Update: Trapped!
Original Airdate: June 24, 2010

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You know, folks, there’s an old adage out therethat applies to today’s update: “If you build a better mousetrap, the world will beat a path to your door” — except this might actually keep people away.

South African inventor Sonette Ehlershas developed a new “anti-rape” female condom. From the description, it sounds as painful as any trap ever invented. Women can deploy the new device like they would a tampon.

The trap is sprung when an unsuspecting male attempts to have his way. Jagged hooks then latch onto the offending part of the male anatomy. Those jagged hooks cause immediate, overwhelming discomfort,which gives the female a chance to get out of there.

For the male, however, there is no escape. The painful trap,once sprung,continues to debilitate. Any attempt to remove it only forces the jagged hooks further into the prey. The man is left unable to walk,or to use his captured member for other natural purposes. He has toseek medical attention in order to remove the device or to resume any semblance of normalcy.

The inventor, by the way, is a doctor herself. One is given to wonderhow she tested this device, and how many male patients she still has. Her new condom is appropriately named the Rape-axe;30,000 are being distributed at the World Cup in South Africa. When it hits American shores, we’ll know– from the screams of the injured.

And just think:If Juanita Broderick had one of these things, why,the Bill Clinton legacy would be entirely different! Ha, ha, ha!

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