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RUSH: Oh, yeah, I’m gonna deal with this. I’m gonna deal with it. I think this is hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. The left has been thrown into an outright conniption fit! This is “phony soldiers” times ten. Oh, ten times worse than phony soldiers. The reaction that they are having to what I said yesterday about Susan Fluke — or Sandra Fluke, whatever her name is — the Georgetown student who went before a congressional committee and said she’s having so much sex, she’s going broke buying contraceptives and wants us to buy them. I said, “Well, what would you call someone who wants us to pay for her to have sex? What would you call that woman? You’d call ’em a slut, a prostitute or whatever.”

That has sent them into orbit! Pelosi’s in orbit and Sheila Jackson Lee. They’re still talking about it on the House floor. The Democrat Congressional Campaign Committee sent out an immediate fundraising letter with a picture making me look like Dracula. I mean it is… (laughing) I’ve got the original story here that all this feeds off of, so all of you sit tight. Look, at least I didn’t call her “a woman driver,” and I’ll tell you this, you people on the left: I’ll happily buy her all the aspirin she wants. Snerdley, you would agree. We would happily buy Sandra Fluke all the aspirin she wants. What could that possibly cost. But contraceptives? So much sex at Georgetown?

The headline: “Sex-Crazed Co-Eds Going Broke Buying Birth Control, Student Tells Pelosi Hearing Touting Freebie Mandate — A Georgetown co-ed told Rep. Nancy PelosiÂ’s hearing that the women in her law school program are having so much sex that theyÂ’re going broke, so you and I should pay for their birth control.” Cybercast News Service. So what would you call that? So I called it what it is. And, bam, boy, you nail these people with the truth! So I’m offering a compromise today. I will buy all of the women at Georgetown University as much aspirin to put between their knees as they want. Well, here’s the thing about that. Where are all these guys?

Is it any wonder, Clinton wanted to go to this law school and why Hillary went to Wellesley? Is it any wonder? Where are the guys here? Do they not have a role here? We assume they’re having sex with guys. (interruption) Well, we’re talking about birth control, Snerdley. So you gotta assume having sex with guys. So, do they not have some responsibility? (interruption) Well, two women… I have to ask sex expert Snerdley on this, but I’m not aware that two women without another device can get pregnant on their own using naturally endowed accoutrements. I don’t think times have changed that much. (chuckles)

Now, I am 61. Maybe something I haven’t heard about that two women together would need contraception. That’s a whole new ball game if that’s the case. But I don’t think we’re talking about that. So it means there are men involved and that would mean there’s some responsibility on the part of the men. Do they not have condoms? Why don’t these women go ask the men to buy them contraception? Why go before a congressional committee and demand that all of us — because they want to have sex any time, as many times and as often as they want, with as many partners as they want — should pay for it? Whatever, no limits on this. I mean, they’re going broke having to buy contraception! They’re getting back-alley pills, folks. That’s what this leads up to.

I want to go back and get this out of the way ’cause I’m sure that there is voluminous tune-in today to hear about this controversy that has arisen with my blunt talk about Sandra Fluke. We’ve run some numbers on this. According to Planned Parenthood — and they should know — birth control pills cost between $15 to $50 a month. So, at most, that would be $600 a year. What is Sandra Fluke buying? We then — I didn’t do this, but a member of the staff well-versed in these matters went to Amazon to check the purchase of condoms. And essentially what we found is that you could buy the equivalent of using five condoms a day for $953, and if you paid for it at once you could get free shipping. And everybody’s in a hurry here. So free shipping would matter. Nine hundred fifty-three dollars. So Planned Parenthood, $600 bucks a year. Condoms, $953 a year.

Up on Capitol Hill at Pelosi’s hearing, thousands of dollars a year. But they want it free. They want the contraception free. I know condoms are free, if you know where to go get ’em. I don’t know where to go get ’em free but Snerdley assures me that they’re free. (interruption) There is an iPhone AP to find free condoms? For New York City. Well, cool, okay, there you go. So we’re not even talking $953 with free shipping. Keep that in mind while we’re listening to this thousands and thousands of dollars in taxpayer dollars to satisfy the sexual habits of female law students at Georgetown.

Now, here’s the story that started all this. It’s by a guy name Craig Bannister at Cybercast News Service: “A Georgetown co-ed told Rep. Nancy PelosiÂ’s hearing that the women in her law school program are having so much sex that theyÂ’re going broke, so you and I should pay for their birth control. Speaking at a hearing held by Pelosi to tout Pres. ObamaÂ’s mandate that virtually every health insurance plan cover the full cost of contraception and abortion-inducing products, Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke said that itÂ’s too expensive to have sex in law school without mandated insurance coverage. Apparently, four out of every ten co-eds are having so much sex that it’s hard to make ends meet if they have to pay for their own contraception, Fluke’s research shows.” And of course what’s sex if the ends aren’t meeting?

But Fluke presented research to the committee: four out of every ten co-eds are having so much sex that it’s hard to make ends meet if they have to pay for their own contraception. Have you heard of anything more ridiculous? This is flat-out thievery. It’s outright ridiculous that taxpayers should pay for the personal sexual desires and habits of everybody, including women, at Georgetown Law. Fluke reported: “Forty percent of the female students at Georgetown Law reported to us that they struggled financially as a result of this policy (Georgetown student insurance not covering contraception).” The poor babes have to buy their own pills. What has gone wrong with our country? What has happened to our country where law students have to buy their own contraceptives? What has happened to us, folks? What have we done with our hearts? How did we become so cruel?

How did we become so heartless? Require each other to pay for the contraceptives of the women law students at Georgetown? Sandra Fluke reported to Pelosi: “It costs a female student $3,000 to have protected sex over the course of her three-year stint in law school, according to her calculations. ‘Without insurance coverage, contraception, as you know, can cost a woman over $3,000 during law school,’ Fluke told the hearing. … ThatÂ’s a thousand dollars a year of sex — and, she wants us to pay for it.” Now, what does that make her? She wants us to buy her sex. She wants us to pay for her sex, and she went to a congressional committee to close the sale.

It’s the right place to do that. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Where do you think the insurance companies forced to cover this cost get the money to pay for these co-eds to have sex? It comes from health care insurance premiums that everybody else pays. There isn’t anything free. “‘For a lot of students, like me, who are on public interest scholarships, thatÂ’s practically an entire summerÂ’s salary,’ she complains.” A thousand dollars, $3,000, practically an entire summer salary that they now have to spend on sex. So she earns enough money in just one summer to pay for three full years of sex, and they’re full years because she and her co-ed classmates are having sex nearly three times a day for three years straight, apparently.

Well, that’s what the numbers add up to! We’ve run ’em here: $953 for condoms on Amazon. That’s a year. That’s close to a thousand bucks. Why aren’t condoms provided free by this stupid policy? Why only birth control pills? No, I’m not advocating. I’m just asking the question. At $1 a condom, if she shops at CVS pharmacy’s website, that $3,000 would buy her 3,000 condoms or a thousand of them a year. We’ve done all kinds of research on this. And what about these deadbeat boyfriends or random hookups that these babes are encountering here, having sex with nearly three times a day? While in law school.

If Fluke is gonna ask the government to force anybody to foot the bill for her friends’ birth control, shouldn’t it be these guys? Who pays for the abortions? Oops! We already know that, too. So that’s where this all started, that story. That’s where it all started. A woman who goes to law school at Georgetown goes to a congressional hearing where Pelosi is (crying), “I’m going broke having sex! I need… I need the government to provide me condoms and contraception. It’s not fair.” Okay, so this is a law student at a congressional committee asking for us … to … pay … for … the … things … that … make … it … possible … for … her … to … have … sex.

Therefore we are paying her to have sex.

Therefore we are paying her for having sex.

We are getting screwed even though we don’t meet her personally!

What would you call this?


RUSH: Are we supposed to believe that it’s impossible to find free condoms in Washington? And it’s a good question. Where are the guys that these women at Georgetown Law are having sex with? Where’s their responsibility? I mean, these guys are gonna learn (if they haven’t already) they’re gonna be buying a lot more for sex than just birth control pills. Why the exemption here on birth control pills? What makes birth control pills so unique that the insurance company — government, somebody, taxpayers — has to provide this? We all know the answer here. This allows them to talk “women’s freedom,” and “women’s reproductive rights.” But it’s also the expansion of government.

Let’s listen to some Sandra Fluke. By the way, did you know CBS ripped me for calling Danica Patrick “a woman driver.” What is she? Is she a male driver and I’ve missed it? What is she? Look at what’s happening to our language. I called Danica Patrick “a woman driver…” (interruption) Well, because she had said that she thinks the government is perfectly responsible in making these decisions for us; she trusts the government. I said, “Well, okay, she’s a woman driver. That makes sense.” What is she? Here’s Sandra Fluke before this committee, the House Democrat Steering and Policy Committee Hearing on Contraception. Here’s a portion of her opening remarks.

FLUKE: When I look around my campus, I see the faces of the women affected by this lack of contraceptive coverage.

RUSH: Can you believe this?

FLUKE: Especially —

RUSH: Stop. Stop and listen to this! You’d think we’re hearing about a killer disease here! You’d think we’re listening to testimony about some horrible crime that’s being committed! “[T]he faces of the women affected by this lack of contraceptive coverage”? Let me ask you people. When you walk down the street and you see a woman and you look at her face, can you determine whether or not she’s had a birth control pill or not? Do you know whether or not she’s suffering and in pain and miserable because she can’t find any birth control pills? Who knows this? How do you look at the face of a woman and know that? But listen to the way this is being portrayed. It’s like a terminal disease not having your birth control pill! Listen to this.

FLUKE: Last week I have heard more and more of their stories. They tell me that they have suffered financially, emotionally, and medically because of this lack of coverage. Without insurance coverage, contraception, as you know, can cost a woman over $3,000 during law school. For a lot of students who, like me, are on public interest scholarships, that’s practically an entire summer’s salary. Forty percent of the female students at Georgetown Law reported to us that they struggled financially as a result of this policy.

RUSH: Ms. Fluke, have you ever heard of not having sex? Have you ever heard of not having sex so often? What next that you can’t afford are you gonna go to Pelosi and say we need to buy? Mink? A Volt? A Prius? What next are you going to want, Ms. Fluke, that you see etched in misery on the faces of fellow students at Georgetown because they don’t have? “When I look around my campus, I see the faces of the women affected…” Play the opening line of this again. Sound bite number four. Listen to this.

FLUKE: When I look around my campus, I see the faces of the women affected by this lack of contraceptive coverage.

RUSH: Prove it! Stop the tape. Prove it! What is “on their faces”? Acne? What is it, acne? Zits? What’s on their faces that tells you? Seriously! You know, I’m the mayor of Realville. I live in Literalville. This is hilarious. It’s absolutely skyrocketing hilarious to have this portrayed as the latest killer disease (brought to you by the Republicans, of course).


RUSH: Folks, if you ask ’em — if you ask ’em — the Washington, DC, Department of Health will send you free condoms and lube. The DC Department of Health free condoms and lube if you just ask ’em for it! So, Ms. Fluke and the rest of you feminazis, here’s the deal: If we are going to pay for your contraceptives and thus pay for you to have sex, we want something for it. And I’ll tell you what it is. We want you to post the videos online so we can all watch.


RUSH: In addition to this being Limbaugh Institute for Advanced Conservative Studies, it’s the Limbaugh Institute for Sexual Research today. Folks, do you realize that you can get, in Washington, DC…? If you ask the Department of Health there, they will send you free condoms! They will send you free condoms. You don’t have to get Nancy Pelosi and ask for thousands of dollars in free birth control pills, and they’ll even throw in the lube! So, if we’re gonna sit here, and if we’re gonna have a part in this, then we want something in return, Ms. Fluke: And that would be the videos of all this sex posted online so we can see what we are getting for our money. Now, let’s go to audio sound bites. Let’s listen to the congressional reaction to this ’cause they are fit to be tied; they want me drawn and quartered. First up is Barbara Boxer last night on Politics Nation, that’s Reverend Sharpton’s show. And Sharpton said, “What do you make of this the poison atmosphere? Like what do you make of these statements today by Rush Lumbard?” (sic)

BOXER: Rush Limbaugh has insulted and hurt every woman in America. Ninety-nine percent of women have used some form of birth control in her lifetime. So he has now said we’re all just terrible human beings. And, if I was a woman who listened to Rush Limbaugh, I would turn off that… Uh, I would tune him out of my life, because I think people will be disgusted by what he said. Truly.

RUSH: Well, what did I say? I said, “If we’re paying for this, it makes these women sluts, prostitutes.” And what else could it be? If we are buying it. There’s a couple of stories here. There’s a fundraising e-mail from the Democrat Congressional Campaign Committee, got it right here, and they got a picture of me that makes me look… Here, I’m gonna zoom in on the. It’s a small picture. I’m gonna zoom in on the Dittocam. I’m zooming right now. I just don’t want you to watch the zoom take place. I’m doing this while also speaking to you and not losing a syllable or a thought. Okay. Let me zoom a little tighter. That’s it. Are you ready? Three … two … one.

That’s the picture of me that they have posted on their letter! (laughing) Does that not look like Nosferatu? I look like Klaus Kinski in the movie Nosferatu! Okay, that’s that. I’m gonna zoom back out now and get the Dittocam back — if it’ll work — back at its normal frame. There we go. Three … two … one. There we go. Let me read the letter to you. “What does it say about the college co-ed Susan (sic) Fluke who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says that she must be paid to have sex. What does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute. She wants to be paid to have sex. SheÂ’s having so much sex she canÂ’t afford the contraception. She wants you and me and the taxpayers to pay her to have sex.

“‘What does it say about the college co-ed [Sandra] Fluke, who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says that she must be paid to have sex — what does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute.’ I am absolutely repulsed right now. Sandra Fluke, the courageous Georgetown Law student who had the strength to stand up in Congress against Republican attacks on birth control coverage, is now under attack from the right wing. First, House Republicans refused to let [her] testify. Now, they think they can shame us into silence.” They go on to ask for money. “Defeat Anti-Women Republicans. Contribute. Deadline Midnight Tonight.” It’s just hilarious. What…? I want to know: Ms. Fluke, who bought your condoms in junior high?

Who bought your condoms in the sixth grade, or your contraception? Who bought your contraceptive pills in high school? Wouldn’t you be just as likely to go broke in high school and junior high as you would be in college? Who paid for ’em then? Ms. Fluke, because of Obamacare, you are still on your parents’ insurance coverage. Why doesn’t your parents’ policy provide your contraception? Why do we have to? You’re still a child according to Obamacare. Of course, the rest of us have had it confirmed. Al Sharpton, when he heard what I said, he said, “Resist We Much!” Sharpton was unaware. “What did Lombard say?” He said, “Resist We Much!” Here’s Frank “The Lout” Lautenberg. He was on the Senate floor this morning.

LAUTENBERG: (haltingly) Yesterday we heard something astounding. Came from Rush Limbar (sic), who’s a prime voice of modern conservatism in this country. What he said yesterday — and I had it checked because I wanted to be sure that I’m not misquoting anything. Said a woman who wants affordable birth control is, and I quote here, “a prostitute.” Talking about your wife, your sister, your daughter, your child. Hateful! Ugly language! And we condemn it.

RUSH: Where did he get it checked? Probably Media Matters. Of course, it’s not what I said. He’s forgetting the way this whole thing happened. A woman goes up to congressional committee and says: I’m having sex so damn much, I’m going broke. What the heck is going on here? This is why I tell you, it’s “phony soldiers” times ten. And it’s not true. Maria Cantwell, Senator from Washington, MSNBC Live this morning. The anchor said, “Rush Limbaugh yesterday squarely aimed his words at Sandra Fluke questioning her virtue…” I’m not questioning her virtue. I know what her virtue is. She’s having so much sex that she’s going broke! There’s no question about her virtue. “Rush Limbaugh yesterday squarely aimed his words at Sandra Fluke, questioning her virtue, doing so in a pretty rude manner on the airwaves. How do you feel about her character, her virtue being questioned, and is she being treated like a political football between the parties?”

Her “virtue” is not in question. Her virtue being questioned? Who is this anchor? Thomas Roberts. Thomas, do you have any question about her virtue? Is it still an open question to you? Anyways, Maria Cantwell, here’s what she said.

CANTWELL: There is no call for those kinds of comments. Those are very inappropriate, and they should be repudiated by lots of people. This is about something that women have fought for and guaranteed the right to get access.

RUSH: I don’t think it’s being denied. Contraception is not being denied, access to it. The DC Department of Health, you call ’em up, they’ll send the stuff to you free. They’ll send you condoms free. Well, we have a sound bite here about that, worried about back alley contraception. Representative Jackie Speier, Democrat, California, this morning on the House floor.

SPEIER: I rise this morning to say to Rush Limbaugh, shame on you. Shame on you for being the hatemonger that you are. Shame on you for being misogynistic. Shame on you for calling the women of this country sluts and prostitutes, ’cause that’s what he did. Ninety-eight percent of the women in this country at some time in their lives use birth control, and yet he went on the air recently and called Sandra Fluke a slut and a prostitute because she was trying to access birth control pills as a third-year law student at Georgetown. So I say to the women of this country, do something about this. Stop supporting the hatemongering of Rush Limbaugh.

RUSH: Right. So again here, you see how they play this and misrepresent it. I just find all this hilarious. (interruption) No, I’ve already said that. I’d buy all these women aspirins, put ’em between their knees, like Andrea Mitchell does. I would do that. Who’s next? Sheila Jackson Lee, we have a couple of them here.

LEE: On the February 29th show Mr. Limbaugh repeatedly used sexually charged, offensive, obscene language to malign the character of a courageous young woman, a private citizen —

RUSH: Stop the tape. Courageous. Recue that to the top. Courageous, having so much sex she’s going broke at Georgetown Law. (laughing) Gosh, I love this. Pretty soon we’re gonna have these women talk about how embarrassing it is to have to go to the pharmacy and not be able to pay for your birth control pills. How embarrassing it is. You can see the embarrassment etched on women’s faces at CVS. Oh, it is? It is? Who did? What, cut five? Where’s cut five? Sandra Fluke said it? Oh, no! Oh, no! I gotta hear it. Here. Play it.

FLUKE: One told us of how embarrassed and just powerless she felt when she was standing at the pharmacy counter and learned for the first time that contraception was not covered on her insurance, and she had to turn and walk away because she couldn’t afford that prescription. Women like her have no choice but to go without contraception. Just last week a married female student told me that she had to stop using contraception because she and her husband just couldn’t fit it into their budget anymore.

RUSH: Wow. Who paid for the sex and the contraception in the backseat of the car way back when? So it’s embarrassing to go to the drugstore and not be able to pay and find out that the birth control pills are not covered by insurance. You see embarrassment etched all over the faces. Folks, for all the hilarity that’s contained in what’s going on here… Here’s a woman exercising no self-control. The fact that she wants to have repeated, never-ending, as often as she wants it sex — given. No question about that. Of course, it’s normal. Why, who are you, Limbaugh? Where you been? We’re to pay for it, and if there’s any objection to it, then there’s racism, bigotry, sexism, misogyny. We gotta killer disease out here, apparently, and that is women who can’t afford contraception or don’t want to pay for it, even though they can afford it. One more Sheila Jackson Lee, then we’ll finish with this.

LEE: And so I know that I’m standing here in the face of the Fairness Doctrine that does not require any media to offer a contravening point. I would command Rush Limbaugh to invite us on and talk about constructive ways of helping women. I give him every opportunity to have some guest where we can call in. I don’t think that is possible, but I would challenge all the women of the House, let’s try to dial that number.

RUSH: 800-282-2882.


RUSH: You know, folks, millions of women enjoy sex in the back of a car. You have some women that can’t afford a car. What are we to do? What is our solution to women who prefer sex in the backseat of a car but can’t afford a car? I’ve run some numbers here. Did you notice in that sound bite Sheila Jackson Lee or Maria Cantwell or one of them talked about the strength that Sandra Fluke had to go before Congress, which is amazing. She’s having so much sex it’s amazing she can still walk, but she made it up there. It takes a lot of courage to ask for something free, folks. Takes a lot of strength to ask for freebies, doesn’t it? I’m being facetious. You know what the solution is here, why doesn’t Georgetown lower their tuition?

Here the numbers at Georgetown right now. Georgetown law costs $45,000 per year, $20,000 for room and board, sex not included. So tuition and room and board is 60 grand a year and this woman’s up at Congress asking for thousands of dollars in birth control pills. This college, this law school, they need to establish a new scholarship, the Wilt Chamberlain Scholarship, exclusively for women.

Rocky in Jacksonville, Florida, great to have you on the EIB Network. Hello.

CALLER: Hi, Rush. I think they ought to add the cost of the birth control to their student loan and then they can be responsible and pay it off.

RUSH: I agree. This is a matter of personal choice. It’s an elective activity, or is it? Maybe they’re sex addicts. I mean this is the kind of stuff, we’re talking sex addict frequency here. But that’s a good point, why us? See, that’s why this is so instructive, folks. For all the hilarity here, and there’s plenty of it, the microcosm contained in this entire episode tells us everything about who we’re up against. This whole thing is a manufactured, fake issue. Nobody is denying anybody contraception. Nobody. No Republican was ever suggesting that contraception be banned. It never happened. It wasn’t being discussed by the Republicans.

George Stephanopoulos enters it into a Republican debate in New Hampshire on January 7th and this is the result. From that one question that he asked Romney, we now have congressional hearings on how Republicans want to deny women contraception. The Issa committee had a hearing about it all right, but it was about whether or not the president has the constitutional authority to mandate the Catholic Church or its schools or insurance companies to provide this stuff free. He doesn’t have that authority. All of this is unconstitutional, every bit of it.

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