RUSH: Wayne, Santa Monica, California. Great to have you on the program, sir. Hello.

CALLER: Hey, Rush. Dittos from behind enemy lines in Santa Monica.

RUSH: Thank you, sir, very much.

CALLER: Yeah, I was just thinking: If corporations aren’t people, then what’s the Democrat Party? You know, what are unions? What’s the Sierra Club? Those aren’t people, either, I guess, right?

RUSH: Right. What’s the Obama administration?

CALLER: Exactly. You know, I guess any group of people more than two isn’t a corporation to them. It’s gotta be people.

RUSH: Look. Look at what’s happening here. See, Wayne, I have to applaud you. You’ve made a great point.

CALLER: Thanks.

RUSH: For a five-year-old.

CALLER: (laughing)

RUSH: Nothing against you. No, no, no, I’m not being critical of you. This is the same thing… To sit here and have to call and use an analogy to persuade people that corporations are people is no different than calling here and saying, “No, really, 2 + 2 = 4,” and do a whole show based on that realization. I mean, this is where we are. This is where — I should say “to where” — this regime is taking us. It just goes to show. A liberal makes a claim, “Romney’s a felon!”

What are we, on Day Five of this?

A liberal makes a claim, and Day Five we’re still talking about it.

“Corporations are not people.” Liberals have been asserting this for years and here we are talking about it. “Corporations are not people!” That’s absurd. Liberals make a claim, it ends up getting talked about because the media perpetuates it, and the Republicans sit there and deal with the premise. “Oh, yeah, of course let’s talk about it.” I’m doing it, too. I guess it has to be done. We know that there are a bunch of meaningless, brain-dead liberals out there who think that corporations are not people.

But why do we have to orient everything we do around the stupidest among us? Well, some might say it’s because they include the independents, and they vote, and that’s why we’re having to do it. And then others might say, “Well, you’re doing a great job, then. You’re insulting ’em. You’re trying to get independents to vote by insulting them?” Yeah, well, what’s new about that? (interruption) No, I’m not ripping Wayne. Look, he’s got a good analogy. “What are unions if they’re not people? What’s the Sierra Club?”

Of course!

What is the sky if it’s not air?

I still can’t get over the fact we have to talk about it. Maybe it’s just me. Jack Welch had to write a piece about it in the Wall Street Journal? The Wall Street Journal? He may as well have written a piece explaining that the stock market is where you trade stocks. Of course I understand what’s being taught out there now. “Blood is blue.” I understand that that’s being taught. I understand that members of my staff actually thought that. Wayne, are you still there by any chance?

CALLER: I’m here, Rush.

RUSH: Do you smoke in your apartment? They just made that illegal out there. Do you smoke?

CALLER: You know, I hate to admit, but I am a huge fan of the Arturo Fuente Double Chateau. And I do smoke indoors. And they can come get me if they want. I don’t care.

RUSH: God bless you. God bless you! I love you, man. So, the Arturo Fuente Double Chateau you like?

CALLER: Yeah, the dark one.

RUSH: The dark one. Have you ever tried the Arturo Fuente Don Carlos No. 2?

CALLER: I actually have and it’s delicious. I like the Chateau because it has more of a nutmeg flavor. It’s almost like you can taste a little coffee in there. I don’t know if that’s even intentional but it has flavor to it that I’ve never tasted with any other smoke.

RUSH: You like the hint of nutmeg on the final draft.

CALLER: You know, I never thoughts of that before, to be honest. But a friend of mine gave me one of those and I tried it, and I tasted it instantly. It took me awhile to figure out what it was. But ever since, I’ve smoked that. I used to smoke Ashton Cabinets, but I switched to the Fuentes and I’ve never gone back.

RUSH: That’s a good one, too. They’re both good cigars.

CALLER: Yeah.

RUSH: But the Double Chateau is a great cigar, too. The fact is, though, they’re now gonna come for you, Wayne. You just admitted, on the most-listened-to show in America, that you smoke that stuff in your apartment. I think it’s now illegal in Santa Monica.

CALLER: It did pass some sort of city council, and the issue now is whether you get grandfathered in if you’re an existing tenet versus a new tenant.

RUSH: Yeah, yeah. That’s what they want you to think. That’s what they want you to think.

CALLER: Yes.

RUSH: You just wait.

CALLER: Well, I’ll tell you, Rush. I don’t know which is a bigger crime in Santa Monica: Smoking indoors or listening to you.

RUSH: (laughing)

CALLER: But if they want to come get me, let ’em find me.

RUSH: (laughing)

CALLER: I’m not giving up either, I’ll tell you that!

RUSH: (laughing) Yeah, they… (laughing) Wayne, you know what? You’re an all-right guy. Wayne, do you have an iPad? I want to send you an iPad.

CALLER: I don’t have one, actually. I haven’t converted yet. I’m still hanging in there with the PC, but I’d love to have one.

RUSH: You’re still hanging in there with the PC? Well, just ’cause you get an iPad doesn’t mean that you give up your computer.

CALLER: Right. I’m a little hesitant. You know, the switchover and all that, it’s sort of daunting. I’ve been meaning to do it, but I just haven’t gotten there yet.

RUSH: Well, let’s make it happen. You’re gonna have to have something to do once they come take you away, either for listening to me or for smoking your Fuente Double Chateau.

CALLER: (laughing)

RUSH: So don’t hang up. Snerdley will come and get your address. We have an engraved iPad back there, don’t we? We have one left, don’t we? (interruption) Look, I have some back there that are not engraved. Even if it’s one of the not engraved, I’ll send you one out there, Wayne. But I think we’ve got one left that’s engraved. So don’t hang up, Wayne. Get his name and address and we’ll FedEx it out there. Wayne in Santa Monica.

(interruption)

I didn’t insult him. I was not putting Wayne down when I belittled the point he was making. I was saying, “The fact that we have to sit here and draw these analogies is absurd.”

(interruption)

We do? Okay, cool. We have an engraved one. Awesome.