“Have you heard about this island the Iranians plan on building that is going to be man-free so Muslim women can do what they want to do without any men around? The question is, how are the light bulbs going to get changed and the lawns mowed?”
“So the Senate Democrats want to be able to tell our troops who they can shoot at. The Constitution will not permit this, they are not the commander-in-chief, but what does it all add up to? They want defeat because they own it.”
“If the Brits leave Basra, ‘Oh, my God; Basra’s going to go to hell in a handbasket!’ Yet if we leave — according to Murtha and the Democrats — Al-Qaeda’s going to pack up their tents and their mosques or whatever and go back to wherever. Has anybody even noticed this contradiction?”
“Cheney was remarkably reserved in this answer. Had it been me, I would have been dumbstruck for about three seconds. I would also have had the most perplexed look on my face and said, ‘I can’t believe you just asked me that! Now neophyte are you?'”
“I’m just assuming she’s a Democrat. May not be; I don’t know. I can’t tell by looking. Could go either way on this. You can generally spot a liberal when you look at one, but in this case it’s a little tough to tell. I guess she’s a Republican.”
“I never heard anybody talking about Nancy Pelosi’s pantsuits. I have heard people talking about Hillary’s pantsuits, but I’ve not heard anybody talking about Pelosi’s pantsuits. And I couldn’t care less about her pantsuits. I just hope she wears something.”
“As much as the UN is exaggerating the global warming threat to the planet, Algore is exaggerating it 14 times as much as they are. So if Algore gets an Oscar this weekend, the Oscar ought to be 1/14th the size of a real Oscar; something you can steal from the Kodak Theater without anyone noticing.”
“‘The Sydney, Australia-based Easy Being Green Foundation says that it will mitigate your cat’s flatulent contribution to global warming for eight Australian dollars.’ The cat. Your cat farts can be fixed for eight bucks in Australia.”
“We know that we are constantly stolen from on this program but there’s simply no way to stop it. In fact, we look at it as flattery when we are purloined, ripped off, and stolen from.”
