“People are dying out there because of enemas. That may sound odd to you, but I want to fill you in because we’re dying of everything and now enemas have been added to the list, and you need to know about this.”
“Sit tight, Dawn! Dawn’s about to explode in there! She came in today and said, ‘I am never going to watch or listen to Geraldo again after last night!’ Chill! Everything’s under control here.”
“It is important, ladies and gentlemen, to continue to characterize Mrs. Clinton as a woman who reminds you of your first wife. Maybe your first and second wife. Or Nurse Ratched. Or what have you.”
“People listen to this program because it’s a good show; it offers them lots of things. Well, politics is the same way. If somebody like Justice Thomas ever wanted to run for president, I guarantee you he would win. It’s about content and quality.”
“I’m not going to start couching what I say to make sure it can’t be distorted. We’re dealing here with the potential loss of meaning when others get to say what other people meant. This is a dangerous direction that we’re headed in.”
“From the Washington Times: ‘Is the United States of America honestly ready to elect a woman or an African-American president?’ You know, the real question is, ‘Is America ready to elect a bunch of socialists?'”
“Harry Reid, Jan Schakowsky, Tom Harkin, and all these people who have gone to the House or Senate floor… These people are saying things about me that they would not say about Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.”
“You liberals just can’t handle truth. You have this cocoon that you’ve woven and you live in, and I — El Rushbo — come along, and like a wasp or a bee, keep stinging little holes in it, and you are in pain.”
“For those of you who are new to this program, we often keep track of sex-change operations on the medical front.”
