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“Now, here’s the truth of the matter: Schwarzenegger has done the typical sellout move.”

“So Arnold called me ‘irrelevant.’ I don’t know how it is that I can be irrelevant when every time he shows up on the Today Show they ask him about me. I’m sure he’s just sick and tired of hearing about me.”

“Did you see this story out of Washington? About one-third of the people living in the nation’s capital are functionally illiterate, compared with about one-fifth nationally. The question I have is, How many of these illiterates in Washington, DC work for the federal government?”

“Poverty in the US is not poverty compared to poverty around the world. I’ve seen it; don’t argue with me about it. You can try to make hay, but you won’t succeed.”

“Senator McCain said after a stop in Cedar Falls, Iowa, that ‘immigration is probably a more powerful issue here than almost anyplace I’ve been.’ Senator, do you talk to people from your own home state of Arizona? When was the last time you were in California? (Nothing against you people in Iowa.)”

“You know, if you’re going to call here and raise hell with me, at least listen to what I say before you do it, Susan. I’m not your husband!”

“Of course, we’re not supposed to examine liberals’ results. ‘Oh, no, Mr. Limbaugh, you are supposed to examine our good intentions! We only want to help people, unlike you conservatives, who want people to die and freeze to death!’ — or whatever untimely death they think we desire for people.”

“Today on the Today Show the governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger, called me ‘irrelevant.’ Yes, Dawn, he did. Dawn’s mouth is open in the shape of a big ‘O.'”

“When was the last time liberal Republicans argued that we had to elect conservatives in order to ensure that we had a ‘big tent’? I’m tired of these people telling me we haveto have a big tent to include them in our party. No way! Not under my watch!”

“A functional illiterate is someone who knows how to go to the welfare office and get a check.”

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