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RUSH: We do this once a year. We do it for three hours once a year — and as always, we do not devote the whole program to it. We do devote a sizeable portion, but we mix the Cure-A-Thon in with programming, and it’s rare that we have had a story in the news to be able to bounce off of with the Cure-A-Thon, but today we do.

The Washington Post. I wonder who at the Drive-By Media has been listening to me. This headline: ‘Traffic Deaths a Global Scourge, Health Agency Says.’ You know, every time we hear about the deaths of soldiers in Iraq or the deaths caused by other normal, everyday accidents in the country as well, I always say, ‘Well, my gosh. We’d better ban the wheel because auto accidents kill 50,000 Americans a year.’ Well, now some group’s gone out there, the World Health Organization has gone out there and they’ve calculated: ‘Traffic injuries are the leading cause of death in people ages 10 to 24 around the world — a huge, overlooked and largely preventable public health problem…’ Traffic accidents are now being called a ‘largely preventable public health problem.’ Okay, so traffic deaths are number one. Well, what’s number two? What’s number three? Well, number two is HIV/AIDS. Number three is respiratory infections. Number four is self-inflicted injuries. Number five is violence. Number six is TB. Number seven is drowning. Number eight is fires. Number nine is war — and all of this I have known and made it plain, but look here what number ten is.

Number ten is leukemia. The tenth leading cause of death worldwide between people aged ten to 24, is leukemia. Well, today is our annual Cure-A-Thon for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Now, the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society is the world’s largest voluntary health organization which is dedicated to funding blood cancer research and finding cures. Education as well as patient services, it all gets rolled into the same bailiwick. The work of the Lymphoma and Leukemia Society is international. They fund research here at home and abroad. Here’s what the mission is. They are bound and determined to cure the blood cancers leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin’s disease, and myeloma, and to improve the quality of life of patients and their families. The fight is on for 740,000 patients and their families living with these diseases today, and there are 110,000 newly diagnosed patients every year. In fact, I worked up the numbers: during this three-hour program today, 18 people will die of one of these cancers. In addition to being in the top ten global reasons for death for people aged ten to 24, leukemia is the number one cancer killer of children under the age of 20.

It’s the most common form of childhood leukemia. The most common form, and has an overall survival rate of 87%. That’s up 1% since our last Cure-A-Thon, and that’s a point that’s going to be made today, is that progress on this is quick and rapid, and it’s all because of you, because of your generosity and your willingness to donate to this worthy cause. All week, I have to tell you, I’ve been getting e-mails from people who have the disease or were just diagnosed with it, thanking me ( but they really mean to thank you) for all of the assistance that has come over the years. People diagnosed today have a far better shot at longer survival than when we began this way back in ’88, ’90, somewhere around there. Lymphoma is diagnosed among about 63,000 Americans every year; 20,000 succumb to it. The five-year survival rate in 1974 was 47%. It’s 63%. Guess what? The five-year survival rate is up 3% since our last Cure-A-Thon, last year. For children, the survival rate is up to an amazing 96%. This could not have happened, folks, without you. It’s one thing to come here every year and raise money and try to get closer to a cure. It’s another thing to be able to report genuine, remarkable progress every year because of what you have done.

Hodgkin’s disease today, is considered one of the most curable forms of blood cancers, five-year survival rates now, 85% and even higher for those under 20. Myeloma, which is cancer of the plasma cells, 55,000 Americans currently have the disease; 15,000 new patients are diagnosed every year. Now, this disease, myeloma, rarely strikes people under 50. The five-year survival rate is only 32%. It’s especially deadly for African-Americans and those of European descent. Now, hang on. This gets even better, though. Five-year survival and cure rates for these diseases have improved markedly since the ’70’s and the research of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society has produced quick results. There’s a guy named Dr. Brian Drucker. He’s one of the first society funded researchers. He was responsible for the breakthrough drug Gleevec. This drug has helped turn certain cancers that might have been fatal into chronic conditions for many patients. It’s been approved for the treatment of three other cancers, and that’s another point to make, too, is that all the research that goes into these blood cancer diseases shows promise in other areas as well.

This drug, Gleevec, has been approved for the treatment of other types of cancers. Clinical studies for the UCLA School of Medicine on an agent to those resistant to Gleevec shows promise as well. Now, get this. Research by the society has applications beyond the blood cancers, too, as I just remembered. Do you remember bone marrow transplants? You hear about this all the time. You watch television. Bone marrow transplants are almost normal these days. They were pioneered by the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and their researchers. This year they’re going to commit $58 million to research alone, but here’s the interesting thing. Bone marrow transplants are in fact adult stem cell transplants. That’s what a bone marrow transplant is, and guess what, folks? You have been supporting the only stem cell therapy to date, that not only shows promise but worked, and this is something I just learned this year. I did not know that bone marrow transplants were in fact adult stem cell transplants. Now, on the adult stem cell front, the society’s funding research led by a man named Dr. Robert Collins.

It works to prevent a deadly complication that occurs when stem cells from a person other than the patient are used that are described as ‘non-identical,’ and your donations and contributions, your generosity has made the testing of this possible, and it’s going to start soon. This could be another huge breakthrough, thanks to all of you. Look, when you donate to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, nearly 75% of the money goes directly to research, to patients and support service. I know these people. I’ve known these people since 1989. They are some of the finest, most committed people I’ve met. Most of them have been touched in some way by these blood cancers. Their friends, their family, and even some of themselves have been hit by these potential killers, and that’s what spurs the work that they do. Now, as always, ladies and gentlemen, I’m excited to be part of this. The amount of money raised is profound when you consider three hours once a year, and again it’s all because of you, and as usual, we have exciting premiums for certain levels of donations.

All of this is explained at RushLimbaugh.com, but let me run through it here for you. Sixty dollar donations get a one-size-fits-all, special edition Rush Limbaugh T-shirt. You can see it right now at RushLimbaugh.com. Three hundred dollar donations get a high-quality, camel colored knit golf shirt, and you can choose your size on that. The EIB logo appears on the left breast. My signature graces the left sleeve, and you can see both of these shirts at RushLimbaugh.com. They take Visa, MasterCard, American Express, and Discover Cards — and, by the way, as is always the case, all personal and credit card information given over the phone, over the Internet, to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society will not be shared with any other entity. You’re not gonna be flooded with pitches or advertisements from other charities or other companies. The online donation is page is safe. It’s secure. It’s the easiest, actually, and the most effective way to donate. The website’s going to be up and running all weekend long to accept your donation, but as always, it’s best to do it today. Get it done now while you’re thinking about it, and as always, ladies and gentlemen, I never ask you to do something that I don’t do.

As I mention every year, we all watch these telethons and you have these people — and they’re good people; don’t misunderstand — but they’re begging, ‘Won’t you care? Won’t you give money?’ and I always wonder: what are they doing? And many of them donate, and don’t say anything about it. Others say, ‘Well, I’m donating my time.’ Every year, I get the ball rolling and I’m going to do so this year. So I’ve decided that I’m going to get things started here with $300,000 from me, and that will get the ball rolling. We’ll be at this, mixing it with the regular program content for Open Line Friday, up until the program ends today. Once again, the number: 877-379-8888, or go to RushLimbaugh.com. Everything that I have explained here about how to donate (you’ll see the pictures of the shirt premium and so forth), is all right there.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: We just got a call. Mr. Snerdley is screening calls today, and he told me we got a call from a listener named Alan in Troy, Texas, and he was in tears. He said, ‘I can’t afford to give money this year,’ so what he did, is he put his name on the bone marrow transplant list and then told Snerdley to tell me thank you. So I’ve decided I’m going to add $10,000 to my $300,000 in the name of Alan from Troy, Texas, if he’s going to put his name on the bone marrow list, and he can’t afford to donate this year. I’m sure economic circumstances will hit some in this way. I was moved by this. So Larry, if you’re up there, I’ll add $10,000 to my $300,000. You know what’s going to happen? The liberals will now call in and they’ll try the same trick. ‘Well, I can’t donate, either.’ (Laughing.) Just kidding! You know, on this day, even money from our liberal listeners is as appreciated as money from anywhere else, and I don’t mean to impugn the liberals in this way. But I do say this: every year this is a great opportunity. I don’t mean to beat a dead horse here, but for all of the 17 years we’ve been doing this, you and I both know that as part of the effort to demonize talk radio we sit around and we’re told that conservatives have no heart. They have no compassion and so forth. Look at the numbers, the millions upon millions that have been raised just from this audience alone over the 17 years that we’ve been involved in the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society Cure-A-Thon. You don’t have to donate for that reason. That’s just one of the nice ancillaries of this.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: To the phones, Ned, Corpus Christi, Texas, welcome to the EIB Network, sir. Hello.

CALLER: Hello, sir. This is Ned down by Rockport, which is just a few miles from Corpus. I’ve been listening to you since about 1991.

RUSH: Thank you.

CALLER: Got a request. I’ve got $200 as retired Army guy that I’ll throw in the fund if you’ll play two of the parodies. First one being Barbara Boxer, ‘Get Your Thong On,’ and the second, Ted Kennedy tries to say ‘Barack Obama,’ and never does.

RUSH: You will donate $200?

CALLER: Yes, sir.

RUSH: If I play one of them?

CALLER: Both of them.

RUSH: Oh, you’re driving a hard bargain here.

CALLER: No, sir, not really. Just retired Army trying to hear some fun and levity —

RUSH: All right.

CALLER: — after the past week’s, you know, horrific events.

RUSH: I’ll tell you what, that’s very big of you. That’s a very creative way of increasing the pile that we are raising here. So I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. You’re a retired Army guy.

CALLER: Yes, sir.

RUSH: We on this program have love, admiration and respect for all of you Army guys — Navy, Marines, Air Force, doesn’t matter, retired or current — so we’re going to play both parodies and we’ll take your 200 bucks and we thank you so much for it, but I’m going to add $10,000 to my total in honor of you, here.

CALLER: Great, Rush. I’ve got a grandson that is remitted from leukemia.

RUSH: Congratulations.

CALLER: Yes, sir. It’s great. Great news in the family.

RUSH: I can imagine. I can imagine. We had a guy call in the first hour from Texas. Where’s Troy, Texas, by the way? That’s where he was coming from.

CALLER: I don’t know. Texas is pretty damn big, but I don’t know.

RUSH: It’s bigger than half the countries of the world —

CALLER: Yes, sir.

RUSH: — so that’s really true. So, at any rate, he didn’t have any money this year. He didn’t have any money, but he was going to put his name on the bone marrow transplant list so I donated $10,000 for him — and he’ll get the shirt, yes. I’m going to add $10,000 in your name, too, since you’re going to take $200 from your retirement fund to do this.

CALLER: Thank you, Rush.

RUSH: You bet. All right, what does that put me up to? That puts me up $320,000. That’s because I never ask people to do things that I don’t do. So for Ned near Corpus, here are the two parodies in order that he wanted to hear.

(‘Barbara Boxer Thong Collection’ Parody Commercial)

RUSH: That’s the Barbara Boxer thong parody. All right, now the second one he requested is the Ted Kennedy Obama name mess-up. I want to set this one up because after we played this, the Drive-By Media, going to Media Media Matters for America — the front organization for the Clinton campaign, bought and paid for by George Soros and the Clinton people — which takes everything that we say here out of context and puts it up there. They are the supply source for the Drive-By Media of what I said on this program and a number of others. The Drive-Bys don’t actually listen to this program. So we played this bite of Ted Kennedy, and afterwards, word spread like wildfire through the Democrat blogs that I was calling Obama ‘Osama,’ Barack Osama, and it was never I who did it. It was Senator Kennedy.

(Ted Kennedy ‘Osama Obama’ Parody Song)

RUSH: Now, that was a parody because senator kept at the National Press Club was asked about Obama, and he said, ‘Well, we need to ask Osama Bin Laden about that.’ It was Ted Kennedy that first called Barack Obama ‘Osama’ and even said ‘Osama bin Laden’ and caught himself and started laughing about it. We parodied it. So anyway, there are the two requests for Ned, who was in Rockport, which is near Corpus Christi.

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