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“There are always liberals listening to this program; they’re always spying, studying.”

“What we’re thinking of doing is setting up EIB sperm banks in red states. This will accomplish a number of things: it will offset the abortions that are taking place out there — predominantly in blue states and among liberals — and it will ensure the future of conservatism.”

“I finally broke down and got a Blu-ray DVD — one of these HD DVD players. Had it installed yesterday: oh, baby. My video guys tried to talk me out of it and I was reminded that between Betamax and VHS, I chose Betamax.”

“I don’t think that Nancy Pelosi is blessed with a tremendous IQ. I don’t thinkshe is the brightest bulb — incandescent or compact fluorescent — in the box. I don’t think that the elevator goes all the way to the top. She’s stupid. There. You happy?”

“All Pelosi can do is go over to Syria and puff up her own rsum. Bashir Assad’s probably sitting there: ‘Boy, I love this. We had the biggest dupe in the world show up to see me, and now she’s out there saying all these great things about me and nothing has to change.'”

“Snerdley said to me, ‘I can’t believe the stuff in the news, such as this story about how we’re doing such a great job dealing with Al-Qaeda that we’re at greater risk than we’ve ever been.’ I said, ‘Snerdley, nothing we can do about it. It makes for good radio, though.'”

“I could do an hour analyzing John Edwards. He just heard a woman say, ‘It’s about me,’ and he turned it around and his answer to her was, ‘No, it’s about me.’ Ha, ha! Well, he has an excuse: he’s a baby boomer.”

“Mr. Snerdley, this is going to be tough to accomplish because anybody can call here and say anything, but I want to put out an all points bulletin for Jenny Ballantine. Jenny Ballantine, if you are out there, I would love to talk to you about you.”

“I’m dying to talk to Jenny to try and help here. Of course, we have guys calling here claiming to be Jenny. I knew that was going to happen, but we have ways ofidentifying Jenny that you people don’t know about, so don’t even waste your time here trying to tell us that you are Jenny –we know that you’re not.”

“John Kerry is out there saying that it was John McCain who approached him about being the veep. I think this is probably BS because our source here is John Kerry.”

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