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“2008 is the guilt election. Make no mistake about it. The country is on the warpath for guilt. We’re feeling guilty about everything.”
“When was the last time Hillary allowed reporters to actually ask her questions about anything they wanted to without trying to control the situation with her testicle lockbox? It hasn’t happened. She just doesn’t get tough questions.”
“What must the feminists think — Hillary running for president as the mother of America? Of course, could it be the Queen Bee Syndrome that’s forcing her into this since Pelosi has already staked out the turf as America’s mom — and grandmom? Ha, ha! Chelsea, you gotta get busy.”
“Well, what do we have out there? Hillary, the first woman who has a chance to be president; Obama, the first black who has a chance to be president; Bill Richardson, the first Hispanic who has a chance to be president; and Joe Biden, the first hair implantee who has a chance to be president.”
“Hillary wants to have a conversation, right? Well, generally when you have a conversation with Mrs. Clinton, you get screamed at.”
“Congratulations to Chicago and to Indianapolis. Those were great games yesterday, and it’s going to be a great Super Bowl, too. The Horses and the Bears: what an environmentalist wacko pick this is going to end up being!”
“The simple fact of the matter is: I am the lone voice of reason here. I’m not panicked about Hillary. She puts her pants on one leg at a time like every other guy does.”
“If you listen to the media, Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith are going to the Super Bowl because some racial barrier has been broken down, and that’s not why. They’re going to the Super Bowl because they are the best. They’ve worked hard for this, and to focus attention just on their skin color cheapens them.”
“They’re libs! They think their poop doesn’t stink — except the poop that they send to Republicans, which they want to stink. But that’s dog poop, not theirs.”
“You libs make me sick! I happen to care about the country and the people that live in it and I want the best for them, and all you want is for Bush to hang! I don’t have time to talk with you people about it anymore! Call your friends on liberal talk shows where nobody listens and have a blast!”

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