RUSH: I did my good deed of the week yesterday. I was playing golf yesterday morning at a course down here that’s closing for the summer. It always closes on Mother’s Day. It’s Seminole. I shot a hell of a round. I shot an 85, so 42-43. But I was plus five on the par threes. If I could have just parred the par threes, I would have shot an 80. I mean, if — if, you know, if is for children. Anyway, as we’re heading up to the 16th, all of a sudden as I’m walking up, I see something that looks huge in the middle of the fairway with a bird prancing around. I got closer, and it’s a turtle, a pretty big turtle. Not a sea turtle, but a pretty big turtle and this bird is just harassing this turtle like you can’t believe. My caddy said, ‘You know what’s going on there? That turtle is heading for the sand traps. She’s going to lay her eggs, and the bird knows it, and the bird’s just waiting to get the eggs,’ and I said, ‘Well, this isn’t going to happen when I’m out here.’ So I went over and picked up this turtle, and took it back over to the creek, because the turtle had turned and was aiming for the sand trap. But when we turned it away from the sand trap, it started heading back to where the little stream or creek is in the rough.
So we figured, ‘Okay. The turtle has figured out here that the bird wants its eggs and is going to wait to lay them. The turtle was just laboring. You’ve seen turtles just laboring to move. So the bird finally flew off when the turtle turned around. I picked the turtle up, took it back to within a foot of the creek, and it got scared. Its head was bopping in and out. It was not a snapper turtle. Its nose looked like nasal spray, one of those bottles of nasal spray. But it was a good deed. I picked up that turtle and we took it over there and I hope that it laid its eggs somewhere. She was doing this in broad daylight, folks, so there was plenty of light out there. Normally, these turtles do this at night to prevent other animals and beasts like birds getting in there and doing (interruption). Yeah, you could say that. You could say I interfered with nature. But I didn’t interfere with nature because I am nature. I’m as much a part of nature as the stupid bird. It was a crow. To hell with those things! Those things… People ride golf carts. If you get to the halfway house and you put some cookies or snacks in there and then get out of the cart to go putt, those damn things steal your cookies out of the cart. If they find something they start cawing like crazy. All their buddies show up and you’re in The Birds. It’s like an Alfred Hitchcock movie. So I have no love lost for those crows. They’re scavengers, just sitting around waiting for the disadvantaged to get weak. That’s why I interceded. I am nature. I am as much a part of nature as they were.
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