RUSH: Matt in Iowa, welcome to the EIB Network. It’s great to have you with us.
CALLER: Oh, Rush, you gotta say the city, now. Come on. Look at it.
CALLER: Hey, that was great.
RUSH: I thought you were calling from Japan until I saw Iowa.
CALLER: No, it’s an Indian name. Mega dittos from the Iowa Great Lakes. Rush, I just want to — first-time caller, been listening about 15 years or more.
RUSH: Thank you, sir.
CALLER: I feel like you’re my brother. Just your parody, your sense of humor, the way you think, and it’s just — you know, I felt that way long before I even started listening to you. So anyway, the biggest thing I get from you is educating me every day, but probably beyond that you make me laugh.
RUSH: Well, I appreciate that.
CALLER: I’ll get right to my question. I want to pick your brain, and then I have a quick other question after that real quickly that’s on the lighter side. You know, I don’t hear anything from you or the media or anything about Tariq Aziz. He wasn’t in the trial with Saddam. I mean, he’d be the equivalent to our secretary of state. I know he’s gotta know about the weapons and whatnot. I don’t care about where he’s at. Is he spilling the beans? Is he talking?
RUSH: That’s a good question. Ah, ah, gotta take a break here. We’ll hold you through the break and we’ll continue the conversation. (whispering) Quick, somebody, find out what Tariq Aziz is doing so I look informed.
RUSH: Back now to Matt in Okoboji, Iowa. We did some fast work here to try to find out about Tariq Aziz. The last anybody heard of Tariq Aziz was a year ago, sometime last year. He testified in the Saddam trial in his pajamas, sort of like Michael Jackson and the chimp. He was a character witness for Saddam, said he’s a great guy, he’s misunderstood. I don’t know if Tariq Aziz has been singing any tunes on weapons of mass destruction or any of that.
CALLER: Well, it just amazes me how he’s just not talking. I mean, after Uday and Qusay, he’s probably the number three guy in that regime, but he’s just off the radar. The state department doesn’t talk about him, the CIA and the press doesn’t, and I’m really kinda surprised.
RUSH: He’s a prisoner of war. We’re worried about whether he’s got his rights and whether he’s comfortable or not. I think also that they wouldn’t talk about it, depending on what he’s saying. It would be classified. The only reason that Tariq Aziz would be reported on is if he came out and ripped Bush, supported the Democrats’ surrender plan and so forth. So he must not be doing that, either.
CALLER: Well, Rush, it’s something that doesn’t get talked about — I always ask my liberal friends this — when we had UN inspectors there and they were, at the time, dismantling, playing that cat and mouse game with Saddam, moving stuff around. For nine months while the UN debated, he had nine months to get rid of this stuff. Now, don’t we have SR-71s —
CALLER: — or actually satellites that replaced them that we could see like convoys of trucks taking those weapons into Syria, because I’ll betcha a hundred dollars that’s where those weapons are.
RUSH: Well, there’s a Saddam ex-general who says that’s where they are, that Russian trucks moved them in there. There are two theories being bandied about to explain this, and one of the theories is that, ‘Yeah, we know that the Russians helped Saddam get the WMDs out of there and into Syria, but we so value our relationship down the road with Russia that we’re not going to publicly accuse them of doing that and to do that we would have to say, ‘We know where the weapons of mass destruction are. We know that the Russians did it.’ We don’t want to provoke confrontation. The second thing that I heard — and this is a little bit more than rumor, but not much — is that the administration doesn’t want to admit that the weapons of mass destruction still exist because it’s about their credibility. They don’t want to admit that they exist because that would admit they missed them and didn’t get there in time to get them out, with bad intelligence again. There’s more problems admitting that they are someplace than that we didn’t find any, in a diplomatic worldwide political sense. Who knows? Look, I’ll just tell you what I’ve heard. I have no clue about any of this.
CALLER: Sure. Say, Rush, before I let you go, can you…? This cracks me up when you do this, but when you talk in that effeminate liberal voice where you say things like, ‘Mr. Limbaugh, we support the troops!’ It cracks me up when you talk that way. That would be great.
RUSH: That’s the voice of the New Castrati.
RUSH: Well, everybody thinks that I’m imitating gay people, and I’m not. When I do that, I’m imitating the New Castrati, the people who have had their spines taken out, or other really important body parts removed. They’re just wimps, and the voice goes like (New Castrati impression), ‘Well, Mr. Limbaugh, you do not understand the seriousness of the circumstances that we are facing if we don’t get out of Iraq. Mr. Limbaugh, you just don’t get it.’ It’s sort of like that, and sometimes I change the pitch. Sometimes I lower the intensity. It’s never the same two times in a row because there’s not just one New Castrati voice. There are millions of New Castrati out there.