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“The Democrats have just established a new caucus in the House of Representatives — the Kickback Caucus.”

“Associated Press: ‘Jefferson Indicted; New Orleans Recovery Suffers More Bad News.’ Do I know these people, or do I? El Rushbo: the all-knowing, all-caring, all-sensing, all-feeling, all-concerned Maha Rushie knows these people.”

“I think that’s a very astute observation on your part, Chris. In fact, it’s one that I had myself. And anybody that comes up with something I’m thinking before I’ve thought it is pretty bright. You ought to be feeling really good about yourself today.”

“Mario Cuomo tried to get around the Catholic church and his pro-choice stance. He made this big speech: ‘My personal beliefs are my personal beliefs. I would never impose them on the country.’ Really? You’d impose your tax policy on the country!”

“Snerdley is still angry about the first hour, so I went back to Snerdley’s office. I always like to check the temperature of the staff every day and make sure everything is hunky-dory and cool.”

“The incorrect way to use a microphone is to put it right in front of you like this and speak into it because you pop your P’s real bad, and that could be dangerous on certain words.”

“I’m just telling you that all of a sudden, out of the clear blue, we have religious groups that are pro-global warming. How come I’ve never heard of this before? I didn’t fall off the turnip truck; I wasn’t born on one so I couldn’t have fallen off one.”

“They’re ripping Fred Thompson now because they say he’s a 65-year-old guy, and what’s he doing with this good-looking 40-year-old babe? Look, liberals are envious as hell of our women, folks.It’s one of the best-kept secrets in politics.”

“I’m sorry, folks, but it just doesn’t sound like there’s a whole lot of conviction behind any of these bites from John Kerry. It sounds like: ‘Okay, let me start talking and see if I wander into a substantive thought here by accident.'”

“My gosh, I have spittle coming out of my mouth like Chris Matthews does. Excuse me.”

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