“You know, my friends, the only people in the world who can depend on Democrats are our enemies.”
“Up, Up and Away is one of my all-time favorite tunes, and one of the first songs that I ever played as a struggling young disc jockey. And I remember introducing it as the condom update in Sacramento. My dad even heard about it: ‘What are you doing? You can’t say that word on the radio!'”
“All right, my friends, I confess: I went to bed with Barbara Boxer last night, and I woke up with Hillary Clinton. Yes, I tuned in to C-SPAN. I really, really tried to stay awake. I really tried.”
“Harry Reid needs to get back to doing what he does best, and that’s engineering sleazy land deals with his kids. He’s in the big leagues now, but he can’t seem to swing the bat.”
“I’ve heard from a lot of people like you and military families this week, Amy, and I think you’re the precious ones here. You’re the ones that are involved in the genuine sacrifice, and I think that you all areowed a debt that nobody can ever fully repay.”
“It’s not just the women in the Senatewho wanted to get some sleep. There are some old buzzards in that place — it’s Jurassic Park! You know, if they’re going to stay in there all night, then Pat Leahy is going to need to share his Depends with some of the other senators.”
“The top Al-Qaeda leader in Iraq has been captured by the good guys. Here’s his name: Abdul-Fattah Dawoud Mahmoud al-Mashhadani, aka Abu Shahid. If we had any damn sense, we’d waterboard this guy until he told us what he knows.”
“What do kids eat? They eat vanilla ice cream, they eat Doritos, and they eat Coke and Pepsi and 7-Up and Red Bull spiked with who-knows-what. I don’t know what they do.”
“Keith Ellison compared the Bush administration’s response to September 11th to an event that led to Adolf Hitler’s consolidation of power. Now, Ellison is the nation’s first Muslim congressman. I’m pondering whether to go forward here verbally, ladies and gentlemen.”
“John Edwards ‘can stare the worst in the face and not blink’? Is his wife talking about the bathroom mirror every morning? I’m sorry, Dawn. That was unkind.”
