Rush Limbaugh

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RUSH: It’s Thursday today, but this is essentially Friday for me since tomorrow — gee, I gotta get up — you know, folks, this going on vacation is fun, but I have to tell you, the two days that lead up to it is just a pain. I have the barber coming over here this afternoon. I gotta go home and tell the staff what to pack. I do have somebody to pack for me, but it’s not as simple as you think. I gotta stand there, because of my weight fluctuations, I have different sizes of everything in the closet in there. I can’t tell the staff person, ‘Okay, get me ten golf shirts and shorts.’ I have to pick each one and throw ’em on the floor and she comes in and does the packing. I still have to go up there and do that. I did the bills yesterday. I had a psychological counseling session with Punkin, my cat. She’s ten years old now and she misses me when I’m gone for an extended period of time. They tell me that she prowls every nook and cranny in the house looking for me, hangs around in the kitchen by the garage door the last three days or so just waiting, hoping I’ll walk in. Thank God she can’t call me.

Let’s see, what else I gotta do? (interruption) Oh, no, why would I wash the car? I’m going to get on an airplane tomorrow. No, I don’t cancel the newspaper, none of that sort of stuff. I’m taking a bunch of wine. It’s a guy golf trip, we’re going to Hawaii, and I’m taking about two cases. I’m taking 48 bottles of wine because there’s going to be ten of us. So I had to go through my wine cellar list and pick out which bottle. That took me a half hour. All this stuff is going to be fun once we get there. I have to get up at four o’clock because I have to get wheels up at five. I have to stop at a famous Midwestern city to pick up some guys and then wing our way over to Hawaii. We get there about one o’clock in the afternoon, get off the plane and head straight to the golf course. Anyway, folks, it is a tough life. Some of the things that I endure just to go on vacation. Now, coming back it’s not nearly this bad. It’s easy, except for the big stack of bills that they put on the desk for me. That’s a big thing to excitedly walk in and see first thing.

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