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Rush Limbaugh

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“This show is not the voice of the Republican establishment. It is the voice of American conservatism.”

“By the way, I’m not going to be here tomorrow. I’ll tell you Monday where I was; if I tell you where I’m going now I’ll get mobbed when I get there. But I’m taking a bunch of Allen Brothers steaks with me!”

“How can liberals be entertaining? How can anybody be entertaining if they’re constantly outraged and angry and ticked off? I don’t know — I mean, Don Rickles does it, but it’s a joke.”

“Some time ago we had a caller asking me why I thought liberals are so enraged all the time. I hem-hawed around about it, but if you want to know the real reason, it’s me and my success.”

“People ask me all the time: ‘How do you put up with the constant disparaging and brutal comments about you in the media?’ I understand it. They ought to hate my guts; they ought to despise me. I single-handedly led the movement that destroyed their monopoly.”

“Is that Mrs. Putin? No wonder this guy — Sorry. Uh, let’s move on to immigration news here, ladies and gentlemen.”

“Once again Ahmadinejad came out and said the time is running out on Israel, that the ‘clock is ticking.’ Everybody hears him say this and it’s just, ‘Ah, don’t worry about it, Rush! Nothing’s going to happen!'”

“What MSNBC ought to say is, ‘Are you wetting yourself at night? Tell us why. Are you so scared you are soiling yourself? Tell us all about it here at MSNBC.com.'”

“Snerdley came in here livid. He is livid that Paris Hilton’s been let out of jail. I said, ‘I can’t believe you care.’ Then he just started muttering to himself and walked out the door.”

“I am a national treasure. I did not call myself that; I was called thatby a couple people via e-mail and I thought, ‘If they’re going to honor me by calling me that in an e-mail, then I’m going to recognize it.'”

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