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“Jimmy Carter is single-handedly responsible for the nation of Iran.”

“I remember liberals making fun of Ronald Reagan. He was a dunce and he hated the homeless. He would sneak into the park across the White House at night, steal their cans of pork and beans, eat their pork and beans and say, ‘Glad I’m eating these and the homeless aren’t!'”

“Did you see this story? Five Democrats have withdrawn from the Michigan primary? What’s funny to me is that… Well, it’s just such a delight to be able to say this: ‘Hillary is not pulling out of Michigan.’ There, I did it!”

“Henry Waxman, you might want to be warned of this: The more liberals who are exposed to this program — such as your crack investigative staff — the more likely they are to question their own beliefs. So protect your base, if you will.”

“A lot of people are sending me e-mails: ‘Rush, what is Mrs. Clinton talking about when she talks about a centrist coalition?’ I’m sorry for not explaining that. ‘Centrist coalition’ for Mrs. Clinton means ‘a coalition of Marxists, Leninists, Stalinists, and socialists’ — pure and simple.”

“The Limbaugh Letter is the largest,most widely read political newsletter in the country, folks. I will pay myself the $20,000 that commercial just cost.”

“San Francisco Chronicle: ‘People have realized they can hate George Bush, but still not want people crapping in their doorway.’ Would somebody explain that to me? This is pure liberal speak.”

“I appreciate anybody who’s willing to be optimistic and positive about this country. It’s so magnetic. It’s so redeeming. It’s motivational, it’s inspirational, and it has the added benefit of being true.”

“Am I the only one who finds it depressing that while past laureates like Mother Teresa and Albert Schweitzer spent decades working with the poor in terrible conditions, Gore will win for making a movie? Moreover, a movie of himself giving a lecture?”

“I should be the recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize! I’ve done more for liberty and individual freedom — which is what leads to peace — than anybody in this year’s roster of candidates!”

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