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RUSH: To St. Louis and Martha. Martha, nice to have you here.

CALLER: Hi, Rush. I hope you don’t wish you had gotten the flu instead of having to talk to me today, but —

RUSH: Oh, now, whoa!

CALLER: Oh, ho, ho, you know where we’re going, don’t you?

RUSH: Well, I think I remember because Mr. Snerdley’s put a little note there that tells me. I remember talking to you and Martha, but why don’t you refresh the memory of the audience?

CALLER: Okay. You had been complaining about women for a period of time, not being able to figure them out, not meeting their needs, not knowing what they want, and I called in and said, wait a minute —

RUSH: Wait, wait. Is that how you remember the conversation?

CALLER: No, no, no. That’s my reason for calling you that time. I listened to you for a long period of time. I know you love women, but it was sounding over the radio as if you didn’t, and I knew you did.

RUSH: Oh, yeah, okay.

CALLER: So I wanted to clear it up.

RUSH: But it’s not that I hadn’t figured them out. It’s that I have.

CALLER: And I questioned that, that you have not. That was my point.

RUSH: All right.

CALLER: And I said, ‘Rush, you need to turn it around and ask yourself, what do you need in a woman, how can she meet your needs, and what are your wants.’ And it piqued your interest because I said you’ve been settling for women.

RUSH: That’s right, I admitted that, too.

CALLER: And you did. And I know failure is not a part of who you are. And I so want this for you —

RUSH: Yes.

CALLER: — probably more than you do. Obviously, a year later, I’m still thinking about this, because I listened to you one time, and you said, ‘If I had a wife, and I had to go home to her today after what I’ve said about women on the air, she would lock the door and never let me in again.’ Now, people laughed at that.

RUSH: Which I might prefer, you never know.

CALLER: I know. See, now, you think that’s funny, and I don’t hear the humor because I know better. I do know better.

RUSH: I just love stereotypical humor, Martha.

CALLER: Now, wait a minute. I’m on point here, and I’m going to get one shot at this, and that’s probably all I’m ever going to get again.

RUSH: Okay. Take your time. Don’t feel rushed.

CALLER: Well, I’d rather have lunch with you and do it off the air, honest to God, that’s what I’d rather do.

RUSH: That’s slick.

CALLER: It is slick.

RUSH: That’s very slick. But I need to know your marital status.

CALLER: I’m married, happily so, and he can come.

RUSH: Oh, well, wonderful. (laughing)

CALLER: Well, anyway, I think that — I hear you laughing. Now, quit that.

RUSH: I’m sorry. I slap myself.

CALLER: Okay. Have you advanced that cause of yours to figure out what it is that you need and what you want instead of settling?

RUSH: Yes, I have.


RUSH: And what?

CALLER: Is it…?

RUSH: I have isolated and identified the reasons why I was settling.

CALLER: Uh-huh.

RUSH: I think, if you’ll recall when we spoke, I think you suggested to make a list.

CALLER: Yes, I did.

RUSH: Right? Of yeses and noes, and don’t compromise on it.

CALLER: And don’t compromise is right. You said one thing on the air, you know, all that I had just said, that I couldn’t go home if I had said this about women. Now, you need to find a woman who’s secure enough in who she is that she can hear this on the air and just laugh and laugh and then embrace you when you come home and say, ‘Good job, Rush,’ knowing you didn’t mean that about all women. You meant it to whom they apply to.

RUSH: Well, my experience is that that is going to be the absolute toughest of these things to achieve.

CALLER: Maybe it is, but, Rush, you can do it.

RUSH: It’s not up to me to do it.

CALLER: Yes, it is. It’s to pick the right one. Yes, it is.

RUSH: Well, that’s what I’m talking about.

CALLER: Oh. Is this North Carolina babe an e-mail mistress or is she really a mistress?

RUSH: Now you’re asking for secrets.

CALLER: No, I just can’t distinguish over the air. I’m hoping that if it is, you practice on her.

RUSH: (laughing)

CALLER: Stop it, I know where you’re going.

RUSH: No, you don’t. Where do you think I’m going?

CALLER: To a dirty place in your mind.

RUSH: No. No, no, no, no, no, no. No. I’m sitting here, I am hamstrung. These are real people that you’re asking me about.

CALLER: Yes, they are.

RUSH: Well, if I were to sit here and discuss a relationship and the quirks of the North Carolina mistress, then I guarantee you what you’ve just said wouldn’t happen, would happen.

CALLER: Hm-hm.

RUSH: Some of these things, of course, Martha are private matters.

CALLER: And they should stay that way.

RUSH: Right. That’s why you’re asking about them.

CALLER: But I know from last time talking with you, something connected with you with what we were talking about.

RUSH: It did, there’s no question it did.

CALLER: And you took grief over this phone call. I heard it the next day.

RUSH: For getting off the issues or something?

CALLER: Well, people were calling and saying, ‘What was that? It’s like having a doctor on the phone, why would you do that over the air?’ You took some heat.

RUSH: It was Open Line Friday, I think.

CALLER: I know it was.

RUSH: Well, you know, Martha, really, I take a lot of hits, but it’s nothing compared to the hits the American people are taking every day.

CALLER: Oh, right. I understand that. Now, can I rest easy? Do I have to call again in a year?

RUSH: You can call any time. I thoroughly enjoy talking to you. But let me just without, you know, I’m in a very good mood today and lighthearted and a little sarcastic, cynicism here for the sake of humor, but let me give you the straight skinny on this.


RUSH: After we spoke, I prepared the list. I have worked on it. I have been discriminating, and I have tried to — you know, the big problem with something like this — not the big problem, but in making a list, is being honest, you know, with yourself. And then when the list is made, there are things that can tempt you to ignore certain things on it.


RUSH: And so discipline, and all that means is, no, standing up for yourself and being firm if you’ve been honest with what’s on the list, which I have, but I think that you should take comfort in the fact that the conversation that we had was very helpful and productive.

CALLER: You know, I sensed it was, and that meant more to me than you’ll ever know. I love your show, but I love you more than your show. And I want you to be as happy as I think I am.

RUSH: Well, I appreciate that. I really do. I’ll share with you a couple things I put on the list, and just so you’ll know and give you an idea of some of the problems. At the top of the list, the woman has to know the history of my career here, why I am successful, what it has taken, what it will continue to take to stay here, and when is the show and when is not the show.

CALLER: Yeah. Hm-hm. Hm-hm.

RUSH: Second thing, she has to understand that that has always been number one in my life.

CALLER: Hm-hm.

RUSH: Has to understand it.

CALLER: Hm-hm.

RUSH: Will have to understand that I need to sequester myself for hours working or because I just want to be alone. It’s a tough list, Martha.

CALLER: Again, it goes back to her security. That is the main ingredient for that woman, she has to be secure, period. And that’s hard to find in a woman.

RUSH: We call ’em here in Palm Beach self-feeders.

CALLER: (laughing) Okay. Whatever. Whatever works.

RUSH: Well, it’s on the list, too.


RUSH: All right, Martha, it’s been great. Call back anytime. By the way, you don’t have to always call about my —

CALLER: I know.

RUSH: — relationship with women.

CALLER: So lunch is out?

RUSH: No, no, I’m not saying that.

CALLER: Okay. Well, then next year when I call I’m just going to come to lunch and we’re going to check signals on how you’re doing. Hey, I’m not coming on to you. I love my husband —

RUSH: Why would you even say that? You’re denying something that nobody even accused you of.

CALLER: Well, I thought maybe you were thinking this woman is fairly pushy, and I am fairly pushy, but not in that regard. Okay. I’m just not.

RUSH: Okay.

CALLER: As my friend said, if you get to go to lunch with him, then I get to go to lunch with him, it’s one of those things, okay?

RUSH: Well, why don’t we just make it a — (laughing)

CALLER: Yeah, come on.

RUSH: Yeah. I mean, I’ll tell you what, you sound like — you know Jim Wright, remember him, the —


RUSH: — former speaker of the House from Texas, after a Reagan State of the Union speech, they’d send Wright out there to do the Democrat response. The theme of every one of his speeches was, ‘We just want to help the president. We just want to help you,’ which sounds like you just want to help me.

CALLER: That’s all is in my head, that’s it.

RUSH: I’m flattered that you care. Seriously, do you think that this aspect of my life doesn’t get — not fixed, but if it doesn’t become whole, that it somehow will affect —

CALLER: Absolutely not. Absolutely not. But ‘failure’ is not in your vocabulary. That’s where I’m coming from. So far, that’s not a great area for you.

RUSH: Yeah.

CALLER: I don’t want you to fail at this before you die.

RUSH: Yeah. Yeah.

CALLER: That’s all I’m saying. I don’t want that to happen to you again.

RUSH: I appreciate that. I really do.


RUSH: I don’t want to fail at anything.

CALLER: I know you don’t.

RUSH: No, that’s not true, there are a lot of things I want to fail at.

CALLER: Well, okay.

RUSH: Crop failure the next morning, for example, I would love to fail at that. Anyway, Martha, it’s the old sow your wild oats thing. Thanks for the call.

CALLER: (laughing) I guess I don’t get a private number, right?

RUSH: (laughing)

CALLER: See ya!

RUSH: If I acquiesce to this private number business, I’d make you happy and I would make others miserable.

CALLER: I know you would. So Snerdley could give it to me if he wanted to. You know I had to just do a big dance to get through Snerdley.

RUSH: Really?

CALLER: Well, he kept saying, tell me, tell me, tell me more, tell me more. You know, I don’t think he heard the passion in my voice that you’re hearing. That’s all.

RUSH: Maybe not. I’ll ask him about it.


RUSH: But, anyway, Martha, thanks for the call.

CALLER: Thank you.

RUSH: You have a wonderful weekend, okay?

CALLER: You, too.

RUSH: All right.


RUSH: You know, Martha in St. Louis, I know you’re still out there. I asked Snerdley if by chance he got your number because I meant to do something in the call and I got flustered because we’re getting close to the commercial time. But I wanted to give you a present, a wanted to give you a gift, Martha, so, whenever you have a chance, try to get back through to us. Snerdley knows how to recognize your voice and so forth. The lines are all jam-packed at all times, as you know, so you’ll have to keep plugging away.

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