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“I’m not going anywhere ’til every American agrees with me — I’ve made this pledge to the American people.”

“I think President Bush has finally lost his mind: I heard the president’s radio address on Saturday, and Bush was the one who gave it. Now, who does he think he is? We all know that the president of the United States is Barack Obama!”

“It doesn’t take much to figure out that the people whowatch The View are, you know, a cup and saucer short of a full place setting.”

“Back then, the wizards of smart in broadcasting wished me well, but they said, ‘You don’t have a chance. Syndicated talk in the daytime is never going to work.’ I figured if it didn’t work, I’d just be the latest in a long line of valiant efforts, and if it did work, it could revolutionize things.”

“In New York, I got kicked out of the first hotel I was staying in: Le Parker Meridian. Oh, yeah — I got kicked out because of what I said about a Mike Wallace segment on 60 Minutes one night… and all I did was quote Mike Wallace!”

“There’s really no substance to this Obama campaign. It’s just: ‘Do whatever it takes to demonize your opponents and destroy them forever, and do whatever it takes to win.'”

“As I go back and relive these sound bites from Mario Cuomo and Alan Dershowitz, I’m struck by something: these guys articulated their hatred masterfully. Now what do we have? Code Pink, MoveOn.org. The left-wing hate business has lost a lot of its intellectual vitality.”

“Obama just says it in a little bit better way than Jeremiah Wright, but thinks the same things. These may be little things to a lot of people, but not to me.”

“How does it make you feel that Jang Lin Sin’s got a big Hummer with nine speakers blaring as he pulls out into a four-lane road with so much smog he can’t see the car in front of him, while you’re trading in all of your cars, trying to find a lawn mower with a couple of wheels on it?”

“See, this is what happens when you go play basketball and don’t go visit the troops: you throw your hip out.”

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