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“I am just stupefied here. The left has officially stamped it now: Oil is a villain. Now, please ask yourselves: When did this start?”

“I don’t know whether to admit it or not. You think I should tell them, Snerdley? Okay. Folks, some good friends of mine who live here in Palm Beach bought a Smart Car… and there’s a picture of me in it.”

“We have the most liberal, the most leftist candidate who has ever run for president in my lifetime; he’s a sitting duck. This guy’s policies are aimed at destroying the age of American greatness.”

“The fact that we’re spending $700 billion a year on oil is actually a good thing; it means we have the prosperity to do it. It means that oil’s being used, and oil is the fuel for the engine of freedom.”

“There’s nothing to Obama — nothing but platitudes. When it’s time to get to the substance, we get contradictions and confusions. We don’t think that he knows what he’s talking about because it’s true: He doesn’t.”

“I go back and forth as to whether I think Nancy Pelosi’s really this dumb or not. Although, every time I hear her speak I get closer and closer to concluding that she is this dumb.”

“What we need to do is stop global warming; that’s the only way to stop your peanut butter cups from melting. And if that doesn’t do the trick, then put them in the fridge. Or better yet, eat them.”

“Would you pull the lever for yourself, Ben Affleck? What has Barack Obama meant to your movie career, Ben?”

“An undeniable truth is that while Obama and Pelosi and George Soros and whoever else tell you and me to get off oil, they won’t — they’re the elites. They’re smarter, they’re running the world, and they have to be able to get to where they have to go.”

“I’ll just say this: The last problem Paris Hilton has is being in a John McCain ad.”

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